Telling a 3yo about pet death

[water*drop]

We have to have our older cat put down in a few minutes. I am a wreck. DH is a wreck. What do we tell DD? She loves him so much, and we didn't know, so she couldn't even say goodbye.

This is so fucking hard.

[jenn248]

I have no real advice (DD was only 18 months when we lost our dog last year, so we were able to get away without telling her much of anything), but I wanted to say I am so sorry you're going through this

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Losing a pet is so hard.

DD1 had just turned 4 when our dog died. She took it a LOT better than we thought she would. He died in the middle of the night. DH and I were up with him most of the night, so by the time DD1 woke up, we were ready to tell her. (Just telling you because your situation will be somewhat similar -- you and your DH will know and have to tell your DD.)

We basically both went in to her and just said that our dog went to Heaven last night. Her response was, "WOW!" So, if you believe in God and any sort of Heaven, I've found that made the telling a lot easier. If not, then you could just say he died.

Also, one thing we made sure to do was not to say that the dog was sick. You don't want her thinking every time she gets a cold that she's in danger of dying. We used the idea that his body just got old and stopped working. We've talked a lot since then about how all living things eventually get old and their bodies stop working, then they die.

In my experience, most kids are way more matter of fact about it than adults.

I don't know how you were planning to handle the fact that you've had to make the decision to put your cat down, but I personally wouldn't share that part with a young child. It's hard to explain that, so I wouldn't even go into it.

[kittycatlove]

We handled is similarly to DarcyLongfellow and DS is 4 as well.

We just had to put one of our cats down in May. DS goes to Lutheran daycare, so he understands a bit about Heaven, so we used that to explain. We also didn't say she was sick so that he won't equate sick and death.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sucks.

[water*drop]

Thanks, everybody. He's at peace now. We're on our way to daycare to get DD. We'll keep the explanation short and try not to break down until after bedtime.

[toutsuite]

Nothing to add other than I'm so sorry.  

[af1212]

I'm so sorry!

Here is a great book that explains death to little ones so well - www.amazon.com/Lifetimes-Beautiful-Explain-Death-Children/dp/0553344021

It has no religious basis at all so you can feel free to add your own beliefs in as well if it would help.