Post by blueberry10 on Aug 6, 2015 19:02:21 GMT -5
Similar to the others - it was nice not worrying about every little thing I did or didn't do since it wasn't the first go around. I didn't stress over creating a schedule and accomplished basically nothing on leave and was ok with that. I had a better idea of how quickly things change.
I also bonded with P immediately because I already felt like a mom. With C it felt pretty awkward for awhile because I had no baby experience. Sort of weird because C's birth was pretty textbook and P's was definitely traumatic but whatever.
It was pretty awesome. Newborn stage is may favorite though so I knew that going into life with E. I wanted to soak up her being tiny because I remember how hard it was for me when C turned 1.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Aug 6, 2015 19:21:37 GMT -5
My first was also colicky, so I felt a lot like you do -- I was kind of dreading doing it again.
I totally lucked out, and DD2 was a dream newborn (nursed quickly, went to sleep easily, only cried for a discernible reason). She made me realize why some people actually enjoy the newborn phase :-)
But even if she'd been colicky, I was just SO much better prepared. I wasn't worried I was doing everything wrong. I really knew (instead of sort of had been told) that everything is a phase -- so no matter what annoying thing she was doing, I knew it really would be entirely different in a month or two.
Also -- by the time you have your second, you realize that taking care of a newborn is so frigging easy compared to caring for an older child. No negotiations. No tantrums. No bargaining. No talking back!
I was able to enjoy DD2 as a newborn and appreciate her tinyness in a way I never was with DD1.
Also, DD2 didn't have colic, but she did get salmonella at 1 month, which caused colic-like screaming for a couple weeks until we figured out what it was. And even with that, I would still beg DH to give me a break on the weekends by...leaving me home alone with just the newborn. Seriously -- having just the baby seemed like a breeze.
I really hope you have the same idiotic realization that DH and I did. We were so used to just comforting a crying, hysterical baby that we forgot that most babies actually cry for a reason. I can't tell you how many times in the first couple of weeks one of us would be standing up doing the 5 S's with DD2 and just sort of settling in for a big cry session when all of a sudden we'd realize, "oh! She's just crying because she's wet/hungry/tired." It honestly didn't even occur to us.
Post by badtzmaru22 on Aug 6, 2015 19:27:03 GMT -5
Best thing: he can't talk back!
He was a way better nurser, and much more efficient, to the point I was worried about it. But he was fine. He was full, and would let me know. No comfort nursing, no cluster feeding. Amazing.
Slept better too, but I didn't get to enjoy it bc the jealous toddler decided not to sleep instead. Fun times.
Also no PPD the second time, so I was much better equipped to enjoy it. I would have ten more newborns if they could all be like DS. And if we had gazillions of dollars, but you know.
Post by badtzmaru22 on Aug 6, 2015 19:30:45 GMT -5
Some of it is perspective too. First time: OMG WHY WONT YOU SLEEP WHEN I PUT YOU DOWN?
Second: oh you want to cuddle? YESSSSS, let's get some Netflix and who cares about whatever else we were going to do! Daycare has your sister til 5:30! You smell so good! MMM snuggles!!!
Post by charlotteandwilbur on Aug 6, 2015 19:42:21 GMT -5
I had a lot of anxiety before DD was born because I had a really hard time when DS was a newborn. But it has been such a different experience -- she is a different baby and I'm in a different place with two years of experience under my belt. It hasn't been perfect, but overall I feel much calmer & more present than I did the first time around. So much so that I feel sad about DD growing out of the newborn phase... And with DS I was basically counting the days until he was older, more interactive, etc.
My sleeping or screaming NB was the best thing ever. Very redeeming, very sweet. I'll care for anyone's newborn any day, any time. Your definition of darling changes when compared to a 2/3 yr old very quickly.
Post by SpartanGirl on Aug 6, 2015 19:54:06 GMT -5
Labor and delivery were so much easier, as was recovery. Watching my oldest love on her baby brother melted my heart. The confidence I felt as a second time mom was so incredibly refreshing. I felt so nervous about everything with DD1. Once DS was born I really felt relaxed as a mom.
Newborns are also a great excuse for getting out of things you don't want to do (like housework).
No colic. Slept well and was a super easy nurser from the beginning. It was a 180 from our first baby.
We often forgot he was in the room because he sat in the bouncer and slept for three weeks. I got back in shape really quick and he came to the gym with me (Crossfit) and was super content to let me workout.
He was so great we decided to go for #3 when #2 was 13 months
I was way more laid back with my second and didn't suffer any anxiety, which was nice because it took me about 18 months to feel normal after my daughter's birth.
He slept amazingly well and would nap too! I had to hold my daughter during all of her naps so that was a pleasant change.
It was wonderful to see my daughter start to care for her brother and it almost hurts my heart (from happiness) to see them truly starting to play together now.
I've mentioned this before, but I was so worried about having another baby. I was on the fence for a LONG time. My feelings verged on pre-partum anxiety, or whatever that would be called. I was afraid of another rough pregnancy, which turned out to be true (gestational diabetes again!). I was afraid of another c-section, dying on the table and leaving DH and DS all alone. I really really wanted another boy, I had serious gender disappointment. I though I wouldn't bond with DD, that I was ruining DS's perfect life, that my marriage couldn't take another baby, that everything would fall apart.
I couldn't have been more wrong. My c/s went very well. Recovery was MUCH easier the second time. I bonded with DD instantly. I loved her so very much from the moment I saw her. EVERYTHING was easier, because I knew what was going to happen this time. I knew BFing would suck in the beginning, so I pushed through that and now it's wonderful. I lucked out, DD is an amazing eater and sleeper, fantastic disposition, sweet and cuddly. She's been an easy and amazing addition to our lives. I feel an immense sense of fulfillment that our family is complete. DS has been an amazing big brother, no resentment or anger. He loves to sing DD songs, tickle her toes, and do "stuffed animal dance parties" where he shakes his toys like puppets and dance then for her. It's amazing.
My second is a worse (though not awful) sleeper, and yet its still all so much easier. Only thing I think that is new that I can add, is that for me, all the 'what is a second baby going to dooooo to my already awesome family/should i have quit while ahead cause #1 is perfect' type of fears felt like laughable nonsense. I have incredible joy and confidence that I've both given and received the best gift ever in having a second if that makes sense.
I definitely enjoyed the newborn stage more the second time around. I don't remember it as much, because I was sleeping less and more busy generally. But knowing what I was doing and being generally more breezy and less freaked out and more certain that I really would fall in love with this baby made it nice.
Everything was better with my second kid. I recovered more quickly. Breastfeeding felt more natural because I had already done it for 18 months with my first. I bonded with him the second I saw him, whereas with my first, I was so overwhelmed and sleep deprived that it took a little longer. And there is nothing like newborn snuggles.
So much easier. DS was actually 100x harder than DD was, he was colicky, never slept and just mad all the time, but it was somehow much easier than when DD was a newborn.
ETA my recovery was a lot easier with my second too. The only thing that was worse were the uterine contractions when I was nursing him. Those were terrible and the only time I asked for some tylenol.
Now that my son is older, he's always on the move. With DD, I could just do endless snuggles whenever I wanted. DS needed to be in the right mood or not busy with something.
They stay in one place. You don't have to worry about them wandering off.
Maternity leave was awesome with #2. I sent DS to daycare and used all my time off to get shit done around the house. DD was an easy newborn so that definitely helped.
Post by londoncalling on Aug 7, 2015 8:49:18 GMT -5
I'm not a newborn person. DD1 was colicky.
I felt like I healed quicker with #2. I knew to get myself up and showered as soon as I felt ready in the hospital and jumped at the chance to be discharged within 36 hours of showing up.
Like other people said, I was much more confident and went with what worked for me. I didn't think that I was going to have a kid in need of talk therapy because I let her sit and fuss in the bouncer while I peed. I knew more nursing positions and tricks, and knew to get help a lot sooner once we started having some problems.