Hi all, I don't post as often as I should, but you all are smart ladies and I hope you can help. I have been feeling very hateful toward my current life, and taking it out on my husband and girls. Lately, I very much regret getting married and having our younger dd, the older one is my step-daughter. Anyway, I feel completely overwhelmed by life, work, house, ect. I have honestly thought about totally abandoning my life. So tell me where do I even begin to not feel this way. I do feel like the world's worst wife and mother. I didn't always feel this way.
I think it is just everything all at once. After L was born 2 years ago, I got a fairly large promotion at work and travel occasionally. Then I have been through 2 assistants in 2 years, because of the way my company runs. So I have been left to do my new job, my old job, and keeping my boss together. My husband owns a decent sized company so I am left to solo parent most nights, as he is still at the office. He knows how I feel, but I don't think he gets it. He thinks it's his fault, that he isn't giving me the life I would like. We have a decent life, new cars, a nice home, we aren't wealthy but are frugal and live well below our means.
Post by whiskeyandwine on Aug 9, 2015 15:37:42 GMT -5
Hmm.
Yes, I'd start w a talk w your doctor. Sometimes you're just so in the thick of it it's hard to see a possible solution. Meds might help center you so you can work thru the rest.
Regarding work. Work your 45/50 hours and then stop. Your company needs to know that you cannot do three jobs. Talk to your boss about this.
Gove yourself three months of house cleaners, dry cleaners, and any other outsourcing you can find. Take a breath, and slowly add back in each part. If you find yourself feeling resentful, outsource whatever you last added back in.
Finally, try for a vacation. Somewhere with day care/kids club if you can't leave the kids behind.
Don't try to make a huge sweeping life changing change all at once. I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. Don't give up, it sounds like ultimately you and your H love each other, I'm so sure you can get thru this!
Post by teatimefor2 on Aug 9, 2015 15:50:10 GMT -5
Talk to your doctor.
Crave out time for you. I am so much happier when I have 30 minutes to an hour for me. Worth every penny. I understand having a DH who works late. That time is my sanity. Living frugally is great, but take some of that money and use it to improve your life.
Thank you all. I do have a doctors appointment coming up this week for something else so I will work this in, too. We are leaving for a beach vacation in 2 weeks with my family, so plenty of people to watch the kids. I would almost like to stay home by myself, but I have been veto'd. I would like to get a maid/cleaning lady. I just read the Joy of Tidying, so I am hoping the great purge will help.
Thank you all. I do have a doctors appointment coming up this week for something else so I will work this in, too. We are leaving for a beach vacation in 2 weeks with my family, so plenty of people to watch the kids. I would almost like to stay home by myself, but I have been veto'd. I would like to get a maid/cleaning lady. I just read the Joy of Tidying, so I am hoping the great purge will help.
I often feel like I want to stay home and get vetoed but then I go and I usually feel better. It is hard to get myself out the door though. Is your family usually helpful and knows how to help? If they don't, you need to be very specific about having them help you or else you will just feel more overwhelmed.
I have been there and felt many of things you mentioned. Our lives took an unexpected break with my husband getting laid off which actually made my schedule better because he could watch DD instead of my usual crazy childcare commuting routine. That break allowed things to settle down a bit so I could start working out and losing some weight which is helping me. But it was very very hard to get to this point and life still isn't rosy. I'm still waiting to go see a physician about anxiety/depression. I agree with others about outsourcing. Sometimes it would help to write everything down that I needed to do and then cross things off as they got done. Also sometimes it helps to not care. For example, feeding DD is a tough task, she is picky and it makes me upset sometimes because I feel like a failure at such a simple task. So sometimes if I want to stay sane, it will be a pouch and tater tots kind of night and she is happy so I'm happy. My husband complaining about there being nothing to eat at home? Here's my credit card and the number to Applebees. Enjoy.