27 days until school, we still haven't decided

[bunnymendelbaum]

Brain-dump warning:
I just counted. 27 days until the start of school and we still haven't decided which school DD is going to attend. You might remember from an earlier post, but we live in Detroit and the school choices are tough. We narrowed it down to the Friends Quaker School and a Catholic school.

The Friends school we really love. Their building needs some work, but we like the community, the academics, and the curriculum. They are in terrible financial shape and without leadership (headmaster left, were supposed to be hiring a new one). It is damn near impossible to get ahold of anyone and we honestly are not 100% the school is even going to be able to open this year although there is a big financial bail-out in the works (apparently). It is close to where we live and so the community would be more local. Great diversity.

The Catholic school is a good school. Great academics, if a little old-school (they still teach cursive handwriting for example). We both grew up Catholic, but I no longer consider myself Catholic and have issues with several of the church's policies (role of women in leadership positions, LGBT issues, divorce, etc). This is supposed to be a more liberal, young parish though. It is an out-of-the-way 20 minute drive from our house on the highway, they have really bent over backwards trying to find offer carpooling options. There is a good community, but it seems most people live near the school, so it is not our "local" community. MIL is of course blindly pushing for this school and it's hella annoying. Good diversity.

We really, really want the Friends school to pull it together, but are we being foolish? Should we just go to the Catholic school?

[spk926]

I wouldn't send my child to a school with no headmaster, where I can't get ahold of anyone and is in such tough shape they may not even open this year. If those are your only two options then I say Catholic school it is.

[ECB]

Is there anything to say that you can't go w/ the sure thing this year (the Catholic School) and then if the other school gets their act together and gets on firmer footing, send DD there next year?

[bunnymendelbaum]

Aug 13, 2015 8:19:58 GMT -5 spk926 said:

I wouldn't send my child to a school with no headmaster, where I can't get ahold of anyone and is in such tough shape they may not even open this year. If those are your only two options then I say Catholic school it is.

I know, right?

That's what I told DH last night, are we crazy for even considering? But the montessori preschool they go to now is the same way. Great teachers, great staff, great program, amazing community, but the admin is just stretched and hard to get in contact with (until you start going there everyday for drop-off, pick-up, then it is fine.) So that is why it is still in the running. The teachers at the Friends school are really terrific and the whole community is just great. I actually just got a FB message from another parent who said there was a teacher's meeting yesterday and she will email me the details tonight.

[Muddled]

Cursive is no longer taught?

[Deleted]

I wouldn't even consider that first school. I can get past basic over stretched admin but the financial state will not end well.

I say that as a teacher. I see lots of flags in that situation.

Can you try the Catholic school?

I am Catholic but have a lot of the same issues you do and it was a struggle for me to consider sending DD. It won out in the end and TBH I think I'll be quite pleased the more I look into it. It's a sweet little school with a solid curriculum, great teachers and a strong sense of community. The religious spiel worried me too but honestly, it's just a lot of "Jesus loves you!" and Bible facts more than anything poltiical/hardcore, esp. at the lower ages.

[timorousbeastie]

The state of the Quaker school would make me worry, so I'd be more likely to go with the Catholic school even though I have similar issues as you with the church.

Granted, this is obviously old information, but I went to Catholic grade schools just outside of Detroit, and way back then there were a decent number of Detroit students that went there. If that is still the same today (and give. The number of young couples moving back into the city but understandably don't want to send their kids to DPS, I'd be surprised if it wasn't similar now), I'd guess there would be a fair chance of finding people to carpools with.

Out of curiosity, which school is it? (You can PM or ignore me if you'd prefer) If it's one of the ones I'm familiar with, I can tell you if I've heard good/bad things about it lately.

[pinotgrig]

Management and admin is crucial to the success of a private school. As much as you love the friends school, their issues would give me serious pause.

Have you asked about the friends school's board of directors / trustees? Who are they? How do they support the school? What are their plans? Do they have a solid track record of fundraising ability? Do they receive any funding or support from the Quaker church?

This issue would make me super nervous and could be the beginning of a downward spiral. As word of their financial trouble spreads, enrollment will decline which will further worsen their financial position. Teachers and admin will leave which will further hurt enrollment. Tread carefully and ask lots of questions.

[bunnymendelbaum]

Aug 13, 2015 8:31:59 GMT -5 timorousbeastie said:

The state of the Quaker school would make me worry, so I'd be more likely to go with the Catholic school even though I have similar issues as you with the church.

Granted, this is obviously old information, but I went to Catholic grade schools just outside of Detroit, and way back then there were a decent number of Detroit students that went there. If that is still the same today (and give. The number of young couples moving back into the city but understandably don't want to send their kids to DPS, I'd be surprised if it wasn't similar now), I'd guess there would be a fair chance of finding people to carpools with.

Out of curiosity, which school is it? (You can PM or ignore me if you'd prefer) If it's one of the ones I'm familiar with, I can tell you if I've heard good/bad things about it lately.

St. Clare of Montefalco in Grosse Pointe Park. It is 70% Detroit families (mostly east village) and about that % non-Catholic. There is a 45min religion class everyday, even in K. Where did you go? 

She was at St. Mary in Royal Oak last year for preschool. That sort of tainted my experience because I felt the other families were so different from us. (very suburban, conservative and scared to death of the city.) DH went to St. Ann's in Warren and then Bishop Foley.

[Marmee]

I am Catholic & my children go to an urban Catholic school.  We are the family that doesn't fit the status quo but I'm tough enough to not let it get to me too much.  That being said, I just would not send them there if I had a problem with fundamental issues of Catholicism. My grandparents were Quaker (left after they got married) but I don't know how much/what is taught in their schools. I'd have to investigate that further but I assume you are OK & knows what goes on relating to that religion. I guess if the school community & teachers are great, I'd be OK with trying it out even without the administration settled.

[heygrey]

I would choose the catholic school this year and maybe more to the Quaker school next year if they pull it together.

[hermione]

I don't have anything to add about the schools but I will say 696 (I'm assuming that's the highway you'd take to the GP school) is an absolute beast in the morning.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I just couldn't consider the Friends school given the issues you described. Sorry

If the Catholic school is the only other option, I'd choose that. You can always change schools after a year or two.

[kershnic]

Neither of your options is great, but given those two choices I'd probably go with the Friends school for this year and see how it pans out. What's the worst case scenario? If the Friends school doesn't open will it be too late to sign up for Catholic right before school starts? If it does open at the beginning of the year I can't imagine it would really close mid-year, but I guess maybe that's a risk? If it's a hot mess you can always move her. Disclaimer: I am not a fan of Catholic education, so take this through that lens.

[bunnymendelbaum]

Aug 13, 2015 9:18:47 GMT -5 hermione said:

I don't have anything to add about the schools but I will say 696 (I'm assuming that's the highway you'd take to the GP school) is an absolute beast in the morning.

We live in midtown now, so we'd take 96 heading east. Is that awful in the morning too?

The thing I don't like about that drive is, if traffic is bad, it is not like you can just get off in some of those areas and take surface streets because there are some very rough or very vacant areas out that way. But I guess I could take Jefferson the whole way? (My DH used to drive 696 to 75 when we lived in HW and that was so much easier. If the highways are bad, just take woodward!)

[imojoebunny]

Friend's School has done an absolutely fantastic job with my DD for the last two years. I have nothing, but good things to say about it. She spent two years in public school before going to Friend's and learned very little, so she had a lot of catching up to do, but has caught up, and then some! It's pretty amazing. Even my relationship with DD is much better from what she has learned there about how to handle conflict and problems, and how to work hard to achieve her goals.

I am really surprised to hear it is having such a hard time. Ours is small, just about 200 kids in k-8th, building is a repurposed church, but well cared for. They are very financially conservative growing slowly to avoid financial problems. The national Friend's governance board oversees much of those decisions.

The Catholic school here is no better than the public school from a score perspective. We looked at it, but it didn't offer the individualized learning that Friend's does, or the two teacher, low student ratio, and seemed pretty similar style wise to our public school (we moved, so the public school system is not the same one DD went to. DS attends the public school). The Catholic school here is almost 1/2 the cost of Friends though, which is understandable, since the kids have so many more teacher resources, and its not subsidized by the church.

[bunnymendelbaum]

Aug 13, 2015 9:23:03 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

I started K in one school and changed to another for first grade. I would do the catholic school this year and revisit.

On the other hand... If you and others are concerned about the friends school, I wonder if it is more likely to fail. But... I think you would have to really commit yourself to being involved and pushing for the school to get better. Since you have already put so much into searching, perhaps you are up for that?

We are for sure up for that. 

My DH jokes that if she goes there, he's going to show up the first day with a bunch of lightbulbs to change out the burned out ones he noticed on our visits there. HA! (It's not that horrible, that is just a pet issue of his.  I didn't even notice them.)

[hermione]

Aug 13, 2015 9:39:53 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:18:47 GMT -5 hermione said:

I don't have anything to add about the schools but I will say 696 (I'm assuming that's the highway you'd take to the GP school) is an absolute beast in the morning.

We live in midtown now, so we'd take 96 heading east. Is that awful in the morning too?

The thing I don't like about that drive is, if traffic is bad, it is not like you can just get off in some of those areas and take surface streets because there are some very rough or very vacant areas out that way. But I guess I could take Jefferson the whole way? (My DH used to drive 696 to 75 when we lived in HW and that was so much easier. If the highways are bad, just take woodward!)

Jefferson is actually not a bad option. I'd do that.

[lauralala]

I'll go against the grain and say I would go with the Friends school. It's where you want her to be, and the local community aspect is a big deal to me. My opinion is definitely colored by the fact that I wish there was a Friends option here for DS, so take that for what it's worth.

[loskadoodle]

Based on what you wrote, I would 100% pick the catholic school.

[carolinagirl831]

Catholic school and reconsider in a year if the other school get it together. But the Friends school now? No way

[timorousbeastie]

Aug 13, 2015 9:39:53 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:18:47 GMT -5 hermione said:

I don't have anything to add about the schools but I will say 696 (I'm assuming that's the highway you'd take to the GP school) is an absolute beast in the morning.

We live in midtown now, so we'd take 96 heading east. Is that awful in the morning too?

The thing I don't like about that drive is, if traffic is bad, it is not like you can just get off in some of those areas and take surface streets because there are some very rough or very vacant areas out that way. But I guess I could take Jefferson the whole way? (My DH used to drive 696 to 75 when we lived in HW and that was so much easier. If the highways are bad, just take woodward!)

You'd be going opposite the main flow of traffic, so it shouldn't be too bad at all. I spent many years driving into midtown from the east side, and going into town was constant gridlock, while going out was no issue in the morning (and vice versa in the evening, of course).

Also, YGPM.

[ilikedonuts]

Unless Catholic School has changed in the past 10 years since I graduated high school, its not like they are sitting there drilling the kids about the Church's thoughts on LGBT, divorce, etc. Its basically "Jesus loves me" "He was born on Christmas" "He rose again on Easter" "yay God"

I could not send my kid to a school without a headmaster/principal. The fact that you are even concerned that it might not end up being open this year is enough of a reason not to send your child there at least for this upcoming school year.

[Deleted]

I'm a pretty avid atheist and I'd probably send my kid to Catholic school in this case. I know people with kids in both schools and the ones that have their kids at Friends have previously loved it but are definitely struggling with the issues you mentioned.