For hating getting dressed, I have both dressed my kid the night before (both my kids have acceptable daycare outfits that are comfy to sleep in) and said "eff it" and sent clothes to daycare for her to dress them in later. I mean, I CAN force the issue, but dressing a non compliant two year old is no small physical task.
Funny side story: I too physically force C into the car seat when she's unwilling. She'll often say, "No, Mommy. I don't want to!" And I often repply with, "Too bad. This is non-negotiable!" Apparently she has picked up on this because her teacher told me that C was waiting her turn to go down the slide and the kid at the top yelled, "I don't want to!" My sympathetic monster replied with, "Too bad! It's non-negotiable!" and pushed him down the slide.
Funny side story: I too physically force C into the car seat when she's unwilling. She'll often say, "No, Mommy. I don't want to!" And I often repply with, "Too bad. This is non-negotiable!" Apparently she has picked up on this because her teacher told me that C was waiting her turn to go down the slide and the kid at the top yelled, "I don't want to!" My sympathetic monster replied with, "Too bad! It's non-negotiable!" and pushed him down the slide.
What do you do with a toddler who refuses to walk? DH has been doing most daycare pickup and drop-offs while I'm on maternity leave and apparently DD mostly refuses to walk to/from the classroom from the car. I've experienced this with her as well, and she will lie on the floor and kick and scream wanting to be picked up. I feel like picking her up is giving in to her tantrum, which is bad, but there doesn't seem to be an alternative when we simply have to go to the car. When we start sending both kids to daycare it's going to be a lot harder to carry her.
I try to make a game first....want to march like ants, or like dinosaurs etc. If not then I just carry him.
DD woke up at 4am crying (WEIRD for her). DH isn't working right now until he starts his new job (he gave his two weeks and they kicked him out that day - standard procedure in finance) so he got up to see what was wrong. She said she was hungry so he brought her a pouch. Then she said she wasn't tired anymore and wanted to play. He said no and she freaked out every time he tried to put her back in her bed. Repeat like six times. So he caved and brought her downstairs where she ate more and watched a movie. But long story short, she's been awake since 4am.
What would you have done?
PS I didn't find out about any of this until I woke up at my normal time at 6:30. lol
I fight the good fight until 5am. No one is allowed downstairs until 5am RULES. I just keep putting him back in his room and try to redirect him with a book until then.
We still have one of these wakeups every 6 months or so and he is 3.5. He is getting better about putting himself back to sleep with a book once redirected though.
How do you deal with "give ___ a hug/kiss?" - We are struggling with teaching consent. She likes to hug/kiss strangers and it's hard to tell her "You have to ask their permission. Sometimes people say no and that means they don't want a hug/kiss right now" but grandma/others are forcing "give me a hug/kiss."
I had a talk with grandparents about consent. I framed it in the " keep him safe from predators" type way instead of the " teaching my kid not to be a rapist way".
I never force physical affections
Grandparents were like " Whatchu Talkin 'Bout Willis?"
Funny side story: I too physically force C into the car seat when she's unwilling. She'll often say, "No, Mommy. I don't want to!" And I often repply with, "Too bad. This is non-negotiable!" Apparently she has picked up on this because her teacher told me that C was waiting her turn to go down the slide and the kid at the top yelled, "I don't want to!" My sympathetic monster replied with, "Too bad! It's non-negotiable!" and pushed him down the slide.
DS started saying that to me too. " Mommy it is NON NEGOTIABLE that I get an ice cream today do you UNDERSTAND NON NEGOTIABLE!!"
We have started letting her sit on a regular chair for meals because she likes to climb up. We have a pub height table.
So, now she likes to climb up and STAND on the chair. When she did this for me, I put her in a timeout corner until she realized I wasn't kidding (aka, until her laughs changed to crying). Then I let her go and she got distracted.
H's way last night was to put her on the floor every time she stood in the chair. She climbed back up. and rinse and repeat. After about 4 times she sat down. His point was to tire her out. Yea or nay?
Further, perhaps this is exacerbated by the fact that we let her stand on a shorter chair from the formal dining area so she can "help" (watch) me make dinner?! Is it fair to allow it sometimes and not another?!
Either is fine, ABA would call what your H did a neutral No, he corrected her behavior by making it appropriate (it's ok to stand on the floor but not chairs being the message). You just corrected the unsafe behavior more directly. Both will work, either would work quicker if you both used the same method. It would help to not let her stand in chairs at all but you could perhaps make a big deal about her 'special chair' that she gets to stand in and differentiate it from a regular chair.
It takes 45 minutes of all out screaming to cut my toddlers nails. Obviously my husband's stubbornness was inherited by demon toddler. I do not have the patience to deal with this so I just wait for DH to do it and basically cursing his life. Surely this is the only way, right?
pennypenny, that's only terrible if your DH doesn't like it. If he's happy falling asleep with her, then I wouldn't sweat it. Is there any way to drop the crib lower? If not, you might be moving to a bed soon, like it or not.
V dumped his dinner last night. We took it was away and let him drink milk for a bit. He ate for a while and dumped it again. We tried to give him fair warning both times. Moderate tantrums both times. Okay or should we have offered boring food (and if so, what boring food)?
After dinner he wouldn't brush his teeth, I said "are you going to brush your teeth out do you want daddy to do it". No daddy. Still no brushing, I say I'm going to count to three and then brush his teeth and he starts getting anxious. No brushing, 123 and then it's a total meltdown, I'm singing along with Shake Your Sillies Out and brushing the teeth of a screening toddler like we're shooting a children's remake of The Clockwork Orange. Not a great time for anyone involved. Any other ideas on how to handle this one?
H has created terrible bedtime habits. I don't say anything (at least I try not to) because I am at work and he does bedtime. Basically he just lays with her on the queen size bed we have in her room until she falls asleep. 90+% of the time he falls asleep too and I have to wake him up and put her in her crib when I get home from work around 1130pm. But now DD is acting like she is going to climb out of her crib. She hasn't done it, but when she doesn't want to go to bed she will start to put one leg over. H is paranoid and wants to get her out of the crib and into a big girl bed. So what should we do?
This is only a problem if it bothers your H. DH does this with DD on the nights he does bedtime. I refuse to DD adjusted and does fine with either of us doing bedtime. Now some nights she'll ask for Daddy for bedtime but that just means I get out of it I would probably move her, DD woke me up at 2 having climbed out of her crib and on top of her changing table. Not the way you want that to happen.
If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?
This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.
I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.
I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.
What's the norm?
We asked our DCP, I was doing a LOT of dawdling to key him do things on his own, and they sort of nudged us in the direction of being more hands on. If V runs away and we don't have time for it or its not a safe choice, I pick him up a lot faster now. Usually I just make it exciting by saying "whee" or "blast off". Peak distraction was around 20 months. He's a little better now in that he only dawdles once on the way out, not at the sand tub AND the piano AND the playground. Basically the DCP was all " it's okay to tell a 2 or 3 year old it's not time for <whatever>".
Post by hopecounts on Aug 13, 2015 18:11:37 GMT -5
She'll eventually outgrow this. At almost 5 DD is starting to tell DH to leave some nights. My guess is by Christmas she'll be done with it with rare exceptions. Set up your routine (for me it's teeth, potty, story, lights out, one song, kisses and good night. DD has learned the routine and that Mom means business. Also keep in mind she's pretty little and a lot of this will change as she matures. I also have Las Vegas rules for bedtime once I've done bedtime I don't go back in she can play turn on the light whatever but she isn't getting me back in there. It took a few nights of her falling asleep on the floor but she figured it out and it's not an issue now.
Question 3: Is this a hill to die on? I don't care if my kid plays or talks to other kids but I will discipline her if she doesn't hi or bye to other people if they say it to her first. Like for example, if one of the neighbor kids says hi and she refuses to say hi then I tell my DD to be polite and say hi back or we will have to leave the park. Is this going too far?
I once asked a child how her day was and she did not answer. Her mom told her that if she didn't feel like talking she could give a thumbs up/ thumbs down, etc. I really liked that so now with my toddler I tell her she can do a little wave or something if she doesn't feel like saying hi so as to not be rude, but not push her.
V dumped his dinner last night. We took it was away and let him drink milk for a bit. He ate for a while and dumped it again. We tried to give him fair warning both times. Moderate tantrums both times. Okay or should we have offered boring food (and if so, what boring food)?
After dinner he wouldn't brush his teeth, I said "are you going to brush your teeth out do you want daddy to do it". No daddy. Still no brushing, I say I'm going to count to three and then brush his teeth and he starts getting anxious. No brushing, 123 and then it's a total meltdown, I'm singing along with Shake Your Sillies Out and brushing the teeth of a screening toddler like we're shooting a children's remake of The Clockwork Orange. Not a great time for anyone involved. Any other ideas on how to handle this one?
For brushing teeth we still occasionally do the brush while he screams thing. But, things that have helped:
-electric toothbrush -he brushes my teeth while i brush his - he chooses mommy or daddy to brush his teeth, or to brush in his bedroom or the bathroom. -if he does not cooperate we take away reading books before bed. We have only had to follow through on this once or twice, recently if we threaten it he complies right away.
There are things I don't push back on but getting dressed, changing diapers and getting in the car are all my way or the highway. I sing a song I made up. It goes like this: "I'm the mom and I'm in charrrrrrge."