Let's play a game - How I handled my toddler

[lauren170]

I will tell you how I handled my toddler, and then you tell me if there is a better way. Add yours!

I really need to read some childhood development books, but between work, chores, and trying to exercise, and 1 billion weekend events, it's not happening.

[lauren170]

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

2. Won't get into car seat. Can take up to 15 minutes. Yogurt melts, bunny cookies, and phone no longer work as a bribe. I am currently trying just to ignore her and let her stand there in the car seat - which eventually works, but takes a long time.

3. Can't stand to play by herself in her room, ever, at all. I have tried putting a gate so the door is open while I get dressed. She screams MAMA the whole time. She can see me if I am in the bathroom, screams then. Screams if I am in my room where she can't see me. I am just ignoring her right now (for the 5 minutes I get dressed just to be clear).

4. Won't put her clothes or shoes on when she is busy playing. Finally I just pin her down and do it - more screaming.

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 9:04:13 GMT -5 @this said:

She has also been stalling at bedtime. We take a bath, put pajamas on, read three books, sing a few songs, put her in her bed at 7:30. The last week or so she's been stalling with all kinds of tactics. ("Need water," "rock a minute," "read another book," etc)

So ten minutes after we put her in bed, she'll open her door and stand at the gate in front of her door and yell for us. If we go tuck her in sometimes she's okay, but sometimes the standing at the gate thing happens 2-3 more times. Last night it was full on crying when we tried to ignore her (which, now I'm thinking maybe it's molars or she's sick since she was then up so early).

How do we handle this?

Do you have a bedtime schedule that is on the wall so she can look at?

How about giving her 2 bedtime passes that allows her to ask for 2 extra things after putting her to sleep?

Would a sticker chart work for staying in bed?

[jeaniebueller]

Aug 13, 2015 9:04:13 GMT -5 @this said:

She has also been stalling at bedtime. We take a bath, put pajamas on, read three books, sing a few songs, put her in her bed at 7:30. The last week or so she's been stalling with all kinds of tactics. ("Need water," "rock a minute," "read another book," etc)

So ten minutes after we put her in bed, she'll open her door and stand at the gate in front of her door and yell for us. If we go tuck her in sometimes she's okay, but sometimes the standing at the gate thing happens 2-3 more times. Last night it was full on crying when we tried to ignore her (which, now I'm thinking maybe it's molars or she's sick since she was then up so early).

How do we handle this?

Ignore, keep walking her back to bed. Wash, rinse, repeat. They only get more sneaky with the stall techniques as they get older, so its best to deal with it now.

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 8:58:12 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

2. Won't get into car seat. Can take up to 15 minutes. Yogurt melts, bunny cookies, and phone no longer work as a bribe. I am currently trying just to ignore her and let her stand there in the car seat - which eventually works, but takes a long time.

3. Can't stand to play by herself in her room, ever, at all. I have tried putting a gate so the door is open while I get dressed. She screams MAMA the whole time. She can see me if I am in the bathroom, screams then. Screams if I am in my room where she can't see me. I am just ignoring her right now (for the 5 minutes I get dressed just to be clear).

4. Won't put her clothes or shoes on when she is busy playing. Finally I just pin her down and do it - more screaming.

How old is your daughter?

1.)We kept our DD in the high chair until after her 2nd birthday. For the most part she would be ok because she would climb in herself so she liked that. Plus, she helps sets the table so she feels like she is part of the whole dinner process and gets to choose her color plate. If she refused, we used force.

2,) Does she like music? We don't put on her favorite CD until she is buckled in. If not I would use force because it is a safety issue. Have you tried humor? Or make up some sort of challenge?

3.) I would either give her screen time or just let her walk around the house. My DD likes to hang around when I am getting ready.

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 9:00:01 GMT -5 @this said:

Oh, I have a few.

DD woke up at 4am crying (WEIRD for her). DH isn't working right now until he starts his new job (he gave his two weeks and they kicked him out that day - standard procedure in finance) so he got up to see what was wrong. She said she was hungry so he brought her a pouch. Then she said she wasn't tired anymore and wanted to play. He said no and she freaked out every time he tried to put her back in her bed. Repeat like six times. So he caved and brought her downstairs where she ate more and watched a movie. But long story short, she's been awake since 4am.

What would you have done?

PS I didn't find out about any of this until I woke up at my normal time at 6:30. lol

I think the best thing to do is to keep things boring and dark at night. She will just pull the same trick if she gets TV out of it.

[dulcemariamar]

Question: My DD woke up this week and decided she wants to do everything especially when it comes to dressing herself. It takes fucking forever and she is very specific about everything. She wants to open the sock drawer, pick out mismatching socks, close the drawer. Every possible step she wants to do or freaks out so it is hard to move things along. If she goofs off I count her to get back on track so that is ok but the whole process is so slow and I feel like she is dragging it out on purpose. Is there any tips on how to handle the "I want to do everything" but I am still lacking lots of skills to actually do anything really productive? She is 2.5 so I am trying to move away from doing it by force and working on cooperation.

[bearbaby]

Aug 13, 2015 9:04:13 GMT -5 @this said:

She has also been stalling at bedtime. We take a bath, put pajamas on, read three books, sing a few songs, put her in her bed at 7:30. The last week or so she's been stalling with all kinds of tactics. ("Need water," "rock a minute," "read another book," etc)

Word to the wise - do NOT introduce the "Maybe a Bear Ate It" book because my champion staller now attempts suggesting several activities OTHER than getting into bed.

"Maaaaybe we read another story?"
"Maaaaybe I come downstairs with you?"
"Maaaaybe we play or somethin'?"

Long story short - I have no idea what I'm doing.

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 9:30:20 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:28:15 GMT -5 dulcemariamar said:

Question: My DD woke up this week and decided she wants to do everything especially when it comes to dressing herself. It takes fucking forever and she is very specific about everything. She wants to open the sock drawer, pick out mismatching socks, close the drawer. Every possible step she wants to do or freaks out so it is hard to move things along. If she goofs off I count her to get back on track so that is ok but the whole process is so slow and I feel like she is dragging it out on purpose. Is there any tips on how to handle the "I want to do everything" but I am still lacking lots of skills to actually do anything really productive? She is 2.5 so I am trying to move away from doing it by force and working on cooperation.

Can she count? If she's okay with counting to 5 or so, maybe give her a limited amount of time to get things done. That, or maybe an egg timer? "You can pick out your clothes and get dressed by yourself, but when the timer goes off (or I count to 5) mommy is going to help you." 

Thanks for the suggestion! We use the time for other things but I never thought to use it for this.

[ssmjlm]

Aug 13, 2015 9:28:15 GMT -5 dulcemariamar said:

Question: My DD woke up this week and decided she wants to do everything especially when it comes to dressing herself. It takes fucking forever and she is very specific about everything. She wants to open the sock drawer, pick out mismatching socks, close the drawer. Every possible step she wants to do or freaks out so it is hard to move things along. If she goofs off I count her to get back on track so that is ok but the whole process is so slow and I feel like she is dragging it out on purpose. Is there any tips on how to handle the "I want to do everything" but I am still lacking lots of skills to actually do anything really productive? She is 2.5 so I am trying to move away from doing it by force and working on cooperation.

I've been having her pick her outfits the night before.

[bearbaby]

Aug 13, 2015 8:58:12 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

My DS was never a huge high chair fan.

We had an island that we eat mostly and used the Ingelsina booster seat for forever.  He liked that and I felt it was safe (well anchored/etc) - and bonus the height/view kept him entertained.

We also now have one of the Ikea tables set up for him in the living room on a little carpet area with some of his toy bins (our LR is small-ish).  He LOVES sitting at his table and now eats most of his meals there, quite happily.  Is that an option?  (Full disclosure - we sometimes throw the TV on in the morning too, so between his table/food/tv he's happily entertained).

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 9:33:16 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:28:15 GMT -5 dulcemariamar said:

Question: My DD woke up this week and decided she wants to do everything especially when it comes to dressing herself. It takes fucking forever and she is very specific about everything. She wants to open the sock drawer, pick out mismatching socks, close the drawer. Every possible step she wants to do or freaks out so it is hard to move things along. If she goofs off I count her to get back on track so that is ok but the whole process is so slow and I feel like she is dragging it out on purpose. Is there any tips on how to handle the "I want to do everything" but I am still lacking lots of skills to actually do anything really productive? She is 2.5 so I am trying to move away from doing it by force and working on cooperation.

I've been having her pick her outfits the night before.

The selection is easy it is putting on the clothes that takes forever.

[CloudBee]

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

[dulcemariamar]

Question 2: What would you do when your kid says I don't like grandma either to her face or when she is not around. How is the best way to handle it?

Question 3: Is this a hill to die on? I don't care if my kid plays or talks to other kids but I will discipline her if she doesn't hi or bye to other people if they say it to her first. Like for example, if one of the neighbor kids says hi and she refuses to say hi then I tell my DD to be polite and say hi back or we will have to leave the park. Is this going too far?

[Deleted]

It takes 45 minutes of all out screaming to cut my toddlers nails. Obviously my husband's stubbornness was inherited by demon toddler. I do not have the patience to deal with this so I just wait for DH to do it and basically cursing his life. Surely this is the only way, right?

(And yes, we've tried screen time, snacks, distraction, bribing, etc etc etc)

[dcn]

Aug 13, 2015 8:58:12 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

2. Won't get into car seat. Can take up to 15 minutes. Yogurt melts, bunny cookies, and phone no longer work as a bribe. I am currently trying just to ignore her and let her stand there in the car seat - which eventually works, but takes a long time.

3. Can't stand to play by herself in her room, ever, at all. I have tried putting a gate so the door is open while I get dressed. She screams MAMA the whole time. She can see me if I am in the bathroom, screams then. Screams if I am in my room where she can't see me. I am just ignoring her right now (for the 5 minutes I get dressed just to be clear).

4. Won't put her clothes or shoes on when she is busy playing. Finally I just pin her down and do it - more screaming.

1. How old is she? Ds has been in a regular chair since around 19 months bc he refused the booster.

2. I would set a timer and when it goes off time for car seat. And I force him while he screams.

3. I always just let him come with me. Why can't she play in Your room or bathroom while you get ready?

4. Yeah if we have to go then too bad. But I've taken him out in pjs before too. Sometimes it's not worth the fight.

[dulcemariamar]

Aug 13, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

With these two example, force will be my last option but only because I might end up with an undesired result like a kick to the face or poop all over the place. If that doesn't happen then just do what works. I just try humor, choices, making it into a fun challenge or do counting like from Magic 123.

[dcn]

Aug 13, 2015 9:00:01 GMT -5 @this said:

Oh, I have a few.

DD woke up at 4am crying (WEIRD for her). DH isn't working right now until he starts his new job (he gave his two weeks and they kicked him out that day - standard procedure in finance) so he got up to see what was wrong. She said she was hungry so he brought her a pouch. Then she said she wasn't tired anymore and wanted to play. He said no and she freaked out every time he tried to put her back in her bed. Repeat like six times. So he caved and brought her downstairs where she ate more and watched a movie. But long story short, she's been awake since 4am.

What would you have done?

PS I didn't find out about any of this until I woke up at my normal time at 6:30. lol

He does not come out of his room before six. I would have left her and said you can read books but it is still night night time. If she screams I might stay in there for a bit.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Aug 13, 2015 8:58:12 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

2. Won't get into car seat. Can take up to 15 minutes. Yogurt melts, bunny cookies, and phone no longer work as a bribe. I am currently trying just to ignore her and let her stand there in the car seat - which eventually works, but takes a long time.

3. Can't stand to play by herself in her room, ever, at all. I have tried putting a gate so the door is open while I get dressed. She screams MAMA the whole time. She can see me if I am in the bathroom, screams then. Screams if I am in my room where she can't see me. I am just ignoring her right now (for the 5 minutes I get dressed just to be clear).

4. Won't put her clothes or shoes on when she is busy playing. Finally I just pin her down and do it - more screaming.

1 and 2 (highchair and carseat), I tend to be kind of heartless. I'm not messing around with a toddler trying to assert her independence over a safety issue. I hold her down and strap her in while she screams. She'll get over it in a few minutes. I'm more likely to not make it a fight with the highchair -- I just tell her she can't eat unless she sits, and the kid loves to eat :-) But if I have to have her contained and eating so I can cook or so we can leave the house on time, I'll force her in the seat.

Playing alone in her room -- I wouldn't force this issue. My 6 year old usually prefers to play in whatever room I'm in instead of being by herself. I have my kids play in my room while I get ready in my bathroom. If they are particularly restless, I'll let them watch TV in there. But usually they're happy to play with the toys I keep in there.

Putting shoes and socks on -- I don't fight it. I just bring them in the car, then I either hand them to her to put on while we drive (if it's crock or sandals), or I wait until we get where we're going and put them on her before I get her out of the car. Bonus -- she can't fight me as easily when she's strapped into the carseat :-)

[jeaniebueller]

Aug 13, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

I do the same.

[arch01]

Aug 13, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

Yeah, I'm not arguing with my child to get him in his car seat. I don't have time for that. I've explained that parking lots are not safe places for me to have my back to traffic and he needs to sit down. I'll count to 3, if I get to 3 he loses a stuffed animal at bedtime and I use force. I've become the slight pressure at the hip joint to make him sit, then the elbow between the legs and strap from there. 

For the poop, I'd count to 3 and then go get him. 

My patience level for both of these is obviously far less than most on here though.

[dcn]

Aug 13, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

Yeah I give him one or two chances or set a timer if I have a spare min and then he goes in. It is getting harder now that he is bigger And my belly is getting big too. I also bribe with iPad and candy.
A few weeks ago it literally took both DH and me to he him down and get him strapped in. It was terrible.

It is also the worst when he escapes out of my reach and then we are basically playing tag between front seat and back seat while he gleefully giggles. Rage.

[dcn]

Aug 13, 2015 9:52:38 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

How do you deal with "give ___ a hug/kiss?" - We are struggling with teaching consent. She likes to hug/kiss strangers and it's hard to tell her "You have to ask their permission. Sometimes people say no and that means they don't want a hug/kiss right now" but grandma/others are forcing "give me a hug/kiss."

We do not force ever. If he doesn't want to we offer giving a high five or blowing a kiss instead.

[boxerdog]

Aug 13, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Question. Tell me if this is bad form.

If my kid won't cooperate and sit in his car seat, I place him there against his will. (Safely, obv.) And if he needs a diaper change but runs away, fails to come when I ask nicely, I scoop him up and carry him. Is this not how it should be done?

This isn't the first post where I've read that it takes a long time for a parent to put their kid in the car seat. I mean, I'm not hurting him or using much force. He's not at risk physically. But if he doesn't want to get in and we have somewhere to go, I just put him in his seat and strap him in - crying or not, I do not care.

I try to give him time to do things on his own, but I'm not killing 10 minutes in a parking lot.

I'm also not up for a game of chase when he poops. (Rare that he tries this.) But last night he bolted, so the minute he was within reach I grabbed him and carried him to his bedroom for a change, explaining he is not to run away, etc.

What's the norm?

My DS is younger, but yeah, I use brute force when poopy diapers and carseats are involved.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2015 9:55:43 GMT -5 dcn said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:52:38 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

How do you deal with "give ___ a hug/kiss?" - We are struggling with teaching consent. She likes to hug/kiss strangers and it's hard to tell her "You have to ask their permission. Sometimes people say no and that means they don't want a hug/kiss right now" but grandma/others are forcing "give me a hug/kiss."

We do not force ever. If he doesn't want to we offer giving a high five or blowing a kiss instead.

We don't force either. We do sometimes tell instead of ask (give grandma a kiss versus can you give grandma a kiss) but ultimately leave it up to him. Luckily grandparents are aligned with us on this and understand. He is almost always willing to give hugs or kisses when asked but we actually laugh about it when he says no.

[CloudBee]

Thanks. With things like brushing teeth where he still resists some nights, I do things to distract like putting on a Batman mask.

But man, I don't think it's appropriate to dawdle in parking lots, and running from me for fun when he has pooped is a big no. So I do take my time with things like getting dressed if we're not in a rush, letting him help me pour things, etc.

[CloudBee]

Aug 13, 2015 9:55:43 GMT -5 dcn said:

Aug 13, 2015 9:52:38 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

How do you deal with "give ___ a hug/kiss?" - We are struggling with teaching consent. She likes to hug/kiss strangers and it's hard to tell her "You have to ask their permission. Sometimes people say no and that means they don't want a hug/kiss right now" but grandma/others are forcing "give me a hug/kiss."

We do not force ever. If he doesn't want to we offer giving a high five or blowing a kiss instead.

DS is a really snuggly kid, but I've tried to get into the habit of asking "can I have a hug" or "can mommy kiss you", to show him that he can say no. And thankfully he says no sometimes. I think it's a really good pattern to get into, because I've had to reinforce this with other relatives. They try and cuddle, he doesn't want to, so I go through the motions of telling DS "DS, you can say no thank you", etc. It also is a wakeup call to other adults that toddlers have boundaries.

[kitty]

Aug 13, 2015 9:46:45 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

Aug 13, 2015 8:58:12 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

1. On Monday she tipped her booster seat and chair all the way back. She hit her head and bruised her shoulder. Took her to the doctor and she is fine. Since then, we are back to her highchair. But she will not get in it the morning. I have been placing her with her milk in a big play yard thing while I cook breakfast. She screams the whole time and dumps her milk out (drips out slowly). I just ignore her screaming and cook breakfast. After 10 minutes she angrily will get into the high chair.

2. Won't get into car seat. Can take up to 15 minutes. Yogurt melts, bunny cookies, and phone no longer work as a bribe. I am currently trying just to ignore her and let her stand there in the car seat - which eventually works, but takes a long time.

3. Can't stand to play by herself in her room, ever, at all. I have tried putting a gate so the door is open while I get dressed. She screams MAMA the whole time. She can see me if I am in the bathroom, screams then. Screams if I am in my room where she can't see me. I am just ignoring her right now (for the 5 minutes I get dressed just to be clear).

4. Won't put her clothes or shoes on when she is busy playing. Finally I just pin her down and do it - more screaming.

1 and 2 (highchair and carseat), I tend to be kind of heartless. I'm not messing around with a toddler trying to assert her independence over a safety issue. I hold her down and strap her in while she screams. She'll get over it in a few minutes. I'm more likely to not make it a fight with the highchair -- I just tell her she can't eat unless she sits, and the kid loves to eat :-) But if I have to have her contained and eating so I can cook or so we can leave the house on time, I'll force her in the seat.

Playing alone in her room -- I wouldn't force this issue. My 6 year old usually prefers to play in whatever room I'm in instead of being by herself. I have my kids play in my room while I get ready in my bathroom. If they are particularly restless, I'll let them watch TV in there. But usually they're happy to play with the toys I keep in there.

Putting shoes and socks on -- I don't fight it. I just bring them in the car, then I either hand them to her to put on while we drive (if it's crock or sandals), or I wait until we get where we're going and put them on her before I get her out of the car. Bonus -- she can't fight me as easily when she's strapped into the carseat :-)

This is what I do, practically word for word.

[oswin]

What do you do with a toddler who refuses to walk? DH has been doing most daycare pickup and drop-offs while I'm on maternity leave and apparently DD mostly refuses to walk to/from the classroom from the car. I've experienced this with her as well, and she will lie on the floor and kick and scream wanting to be picked up. I feel like picking her up is giving in to her tantrum, which is bad, but there doesn't seem to be an alternative when we simply have to go to the car. When we start sending both kids to daycare it's going to be a lot harder to carry her.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Aug 13, 2015 10:40:38 GMT -5 oswin said:

What do you do with a toddler who refuses to walk? DH has been doing most daycare pickup and drop-offs while I'm on maternity leave and apparently DD mostly refuses to walk to/from the classroom from the car. I've experienced this with her as well, and she will lie on the floor and kick and scream wanting to be picked up. I feel like picking her up is giving in to her tantrum, which is bad, but there doesn't seem to be an alternative when we simply have to go to the car. When we start sending both kids to daycare it's going to be a lot harder to carry her.

I'd carry her.

I don't see it as giving into a tantrum unless I've made an issue of her walking. What I do with my 2 year old is:
Anna, we're walking into the store now. Do you want to walk or pick up? I'm going to count to 3, and if you don't decide, I'll decide for you. That's 1, that's 2, that's 3. Okay, now -- which do you want?

If she doesn't tell me what she wants, then I choose for her, and I choose to pick her up.

Having two will make it harder, but you'll figure out how to carry both at once :-) Most days the year DD1 was 4, we walked into preschool with her in my arms and DD2's baby carrier over my other arm.

I don't know what I'd do if I had more kids, though :-)