s/o friends over your house

[Purple]

Do you have BBQs where they don't know others at the party? I feel like we have 2 couples that know each other then all individual couple friends who don't know each other. Would it be weird to invite them all over together?



I don't have a group of friends since college or high school. (We all live away from each other now).



All my new friends are like people we met individually (ie neighbor, close work friend, college friend, new daycare mom friend)



Is this a stupid question? My husband always says we don't have any friends. But If never have people over or do anything outside of our usual run-ins then we won't have friends. He doesn't like people, haha, only 1/2 kidding. He get's stressed out and wants to make everything perfect, but I just want an informal gathering with beer/wine, hotdogs, hamburgers, nothing fancy.

[cjeanette]

I don't often. It stresses me out. I also have found people are less likely to show up to a gathering with different circles than keeping the event to one group.

[Deleted]

When we do have people over, we cast a wide net and people that don't know each other get to know each other. Obviously, anyone I like enough to have over is a nice person, and all those people should get along fine.

People are fine meeting people. Not fancy is good.

[Deleted]

Not weird. Invite them over.

[jeaniebueller]

I don't think so. As long as you think that their personalities will mesh, the more, the merrier.

[bowies]

I met my current close group of friends because another friend invited us all over at the same time. This has turned into somewhat of a thing - we challenge each other to bring someone new. Most of us are slackers (raises hand) but I think people WANT to meet other people and are looking for ways to do so.

[mlt]

When we are having a real party, I'm all about inviting everyone we know. I love parties like that. For watching a game on a fall Sunday we just invite two or three couples who know each other and keep it simple.

[SJ]

Sometimes! For example, DD's birthday included a few different groups, but we often stick to groups that know each other for smaller or more casual gatherings. We entertain A LOT though- at least a few times per week?.

Over the years, I have successfully mingled my friends though, so couples that were my HS friends are now close with couples that were my college friends etc.

[dcn]

These usually end up as our most fun get togethers.

[sunshine608]

Yes. I love to connect people. I usually invite over all my groups- friends, coworkers and family and who comes, comes. I know who my Introverts are and I try and be cognizant of that, but I just think the more the merrier and its who you know. You never know what people may be looking for ( a new job, realtor, daycare etc) and its nice to help people out.

I also HATE leaving people out. Like if they hear and weren't invited, I get upset. Or I feel as I can't talk about something b/c I didn't invite you. If there is a reason ( family only) sure but other than that, my personality stops me.

[wavepool]

We have friends over often and do a mix--sometimes just one group and sometimes multiple groups. I like that our friends from different groups know each other, or at least know who each other are. We pretty much always keep it informal and people come and go.

[Deleted]

I do also live in a town where the people I know are often connected, even if I don't realize it.

So one of the guys I volunteered with via my old job has kids in Montesorri with my husband's bbq teammate. And they went to the same summer camp as my church mom's group friend. Mix in our various church contacts, and people often have contacts I know nothing about until we meet at the same *gasp* backyard potluck.

[imojoebunny]

We have parties with people who don't know each other all the time. We have lots of different friends, some have also become friends over the years. If we just having a smaller, dinner party, we try to invite people we at least think have a lot in common, but for bigger parties, we just throw in the people we want to see, and some food and drink, and everyone seems to have fun.

[Deleted]

I invite everyone. it works pretty well. Especially if it's a smallish group. I think 30 people where you only know 3 is more intimidating than if there are 8 people and you know 3.

[turtlegirl]

We have a few different groups of friends, but through kid bday parties and other random things we have slowly started to co-mingle them into a larger group where almost everyone knows almost everyone and can be friendly.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I think it depends on the size of the gathering. Either really small or really big is better.

Like, if you have two couples that you're friends with, but the couples don't know each other, you could invite both couples over. Tell them in advance so they know it will be three couples, only one of which they know. If your friends are interested in getting to know other friends, they should be up for it.

Or you could have a huge party and invite a ton of people.

Also, I feel your pain. My DH is also borderline anti-social. :-) He gets so stressed out to go out with people he doesn't know or to have people over.

[gibbinator]

If I invite people that don't know our larger group then I try to hang out with them if they seem shy - especially if it's a single person rather than a couple. Usually everyone ends up striking up a conversation eventually and it's not a big deal. We actually met one of our best couple friends through a similar gathering hosted by another friend.

We've had a few board games nights where it's us and 2 other couples that have never met. It's usually fairly easy in a small setting.

[lilac05]

Aug 13, 2015 15:11:50 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

I think it depends on the size of the gathering. Either really small or really big is better.

I agree with this.

If it's just two couples, I'm very careful about who I invite.  I know that some friends "play with others" better than others.  If it's a bigger group, I don't worry as much, but I still keep it in mind.  We've got very diverse circles of friends, some who are VERY vocal & judgemental on opposite sides of various topics.   I don't want my party to become an argument about gun rights or crap like that!

[ECB]

I had a girls night one night where I invited some of my neighbors, some friends from college, and then one CW and 2 friends from HS. I don't recommend this kind of GTG where 2 groups know each other well. The college friends all hung together, the neighbors all hung together. Luckily my CW isn't shy and neither are my HS friends- the 3 of them hit it off. So that was great.

BUT big picture- I had hoped for more of a "Let's all hang out and talk" and everyone, instead, sectioned off to who they knew.

All in all it was still a lot of fun. But I won't mix groups unless there are 2 large groups who know eahc other OR almost everyone pretty much knows no one.

[glitzy07]

I really depends. We have had some success with inviting a mixed group of couples/individuals over, but for certain things we will also keep it to specific groups of friends. Sometimes we have specific groups of friends that I know won't mesh well and specifically avoid putting together, but beyond that, most people can make it work.