Family write-off brain dump

[amaranth]

I am so over about half of my husband's family. You guys have heard only a tiny fraction of the stories because I don't want too much info floating around on here.

Anyway, at what point is okay to stop caring about them at all and not make any further effort to engage or be their friend? I've tried to be the bigger person but I have a low tolerance for nonsense and idle gossip, and that's all they care about...and being dumb.

Can I stop inviting them over, stop texting, and stop working to be their friend now? It's been almost a year of living here and I gave it my best shot. I'll be nice at family events, but that's all I can stomach any more. Some of them are so awful. Racist, gossipy, drunks (which I don't care about except they drive drunk and set a bad example), backstabbing types...

Mostly this is a brain dump. Has anyone just stopped working on family relationships? What was the outcome?

[awick14]

If you feel like it's time to stop contacting them then it's time.

I would do as you said and stop inviting them to functions and such, as long as your still nice as family events then I wouldn't worry about the rest.

[MrsMB]

Yup. They've just got moved to what I call "acquaintance-family." You will see them at family events and be polite.....and respond when they reach out. Otherwise, I see no problems in keeping people at arms length.

(As a side note: ((hugs)). I know it's hard...and you don't want to do this. Sometimes, it's just better for YOUR little family.)

[awick14]

I just saw this on facebook and it fits perfect here.

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[amaranth]

Aug 17, 2015 12:42:49 GMT -5 awick14 said:

I just saw this on facebook and it fits perfect here.

Truth!

I also like MrsMB's phrase of acquaintance family.

[wanderingenough]

Sorry you are dealing with that! We have some in H's family that we have completely removed contact with (e.g half-siblings/their spouses). We don't live in the same town, so it's probably easier--but they were surprisingly easy to phase out!

[anyastroud]

Aug 17, 2015 12:38:27 GMT -5 MrsMB said:

Yup. They've just got moved to what I call "acquaintance-family." You will see them at family events and be polite.....and respond when they reach out. Otherwise, I see no problems in keeping people at arms length.

(As a side note: ((hugs)). I know it's hard...and you don't want to do this. Sometimes, it's just better for YOUR little family.)

I agree with @mrsmb. This is exactly how I handle my sister.