All I ever meet are the crazies

[thatgirl2478]

We moved here 4 years ago.  I have either worked at home, or been a SAHM for those 4 years, so I have no friends here.  I still see my old friends every so often, but I would like some local friends to hang out with (I'm 37, this shouldn't be so hard).

So, when we go to the park, I'm always on the look out for people who seem nice and friendly etc.  Tonight was no exception. 

We went to the park and as we approach an energetic boy comes up to my DD1 and asks her to play - great first sign.  Then I see him Mom and she asks how old my baby is (10 mo) she says hers is 11mo.

Then she tells me:
- her DD's name is Sak.ura - which is a German word meaning 'pink flower' - except it's not, it's Japanese and means 'cherry blossom' so whatever
- her DS's name is Jack, er Jake, she 'calls him Jake'... ? WTF?
- her DD's bday is in April - uh didn't you just say she's 11 mo old?
- her DS isn't her DS but she's married to his Dad and his Mom abused him and now lives in the Mission and that she's thinking of adopting him
- her DS is already diagnosed with ADD, and that she can't wait for school because then she can medicate him
- she has a ringworm, is that contagious? (yes) and really hopes her DD doesn't get it
- she walked over 2 miles to get to the park, but it's ok because she needs the exercise
- that she just moved here from 2 hours away, but that she already has a job and took a week off because 'the kids come first' () but that she spent all her money on kids clothes and bills (uh, well, that's normal right?)

I could go on, but seriously, this was a 25 min conversation - with a person she JUST met.  I need friends, but not the crazy kind.

[mandapanda18]

hahahahah... this is the same type of problem I have. I don't have time for crazies!

[Deleted]

Lol. I shouldn't laugh, but I'm in the same boat. I want some mom friends. Once at the park with J I started chatting with a woman also pushing her child in the swing. She asked how old J was and what his name was. I asked the same of her son. When she told me his name was "anus" I asked how it was spelled. When she confirmed the spelling I didn't know what to say. Surely she was joking right?

[gibbinator]

That's a lot of overshare lol

[anaps28]

Oh boy that's a rough one. Have you tried meetup.com? I have met a bunch of friends on there.

[Deleted]

Haha. Um, I mean, sorry?

Really though, that is nuts. Does your H work with people that are normal? Possibly they or their spouse would like to hang out. Maybe you should walk two miles to a better park and scope the scene.

[thatgirl2478]

Aug 27, 2015 17:38:53 GMT -5 @forcuatro said:

Haha. Um, I mean, sorry?

Really though, that is nuts. Does your H work with people that are normal? Possibly they or their spouse would like to hang out. Maybe you should walk two miles to a better park and scope the scene.

LOL - There aren't that many people in his office, 2 are single guys, 2 are single women and his boss is married, but lives an hour away. 

I'm starting to think we should walk to the other park...

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2015 17:46:36 GMT -5 thatgirl2478 said:

Aug 27, 2015 17:38:53 GMT -5 @forcuatro said:

Haha. Um, I mean, sorry?

Really though, that is nuts. Does your H work with people that are normal? Possibly they or their spouse would like to hang out. Maybe you should walk two miles to a better park and scope the scene.

LOL - There aren't that many people in his office, 2 are single guys, 2 are single women and his boss is married, but lives an hour away. 

I'm starting to think we should walk to the other park...

Well, the walk would give you something to talk about right after you forget your kids names and birthdays. All the cool parents are doing it.

[satsuma]

I don't know if this is flammable, but my first thought was wondering if you are in the Midwest. Not because the lady was crazy, but because I hear so many peoples' life stories whenever I visit there.

[cjeanette]

Aug 27, 2015 18:00:37 GMT -5 satsuma said:

I don't know if this is flammable, but my first thought was wondering if you are in the Midwest. Not because the lady was crazy, but because I hear so many peoples' life stories whenever I visit there.

WE ARE JUST FRIENDLY OKAY!

[bowies]

I'm a crazy magnet too. The first time I went baby clothes shopping I was cornered in the 3-piece outfit section of Carter's by a woman who needed to tell me all about her complicated labor and delivery. I had been looking forward to that trip for so long and instead got that. Go post about it on the Internet like normal people!

[satsuma]

Aug 27, 2015 18:02:41 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

Aug 27, 2015 18:00:37 GMT -5 satsuma said:

I don't know if this is flammable, but my first thought was wondering if you are in the Midwest. Not because the lady was crazy, but because I hear so many peoples' life stories whenever I visit there.

WE ARE JUST FRIENDLY OKAY!

So I grew up in Seattle but my parents are from the midwest and I always used to be mortified at how friendly they were with everyone. I was like, the sales guy doesn't need to know the reason you're buying those shoes is because you're heading back for a family reunion and a distant cousin is also getting married, but the reception isn't going to be one of those fancy hotel ones, but something simple at a low key restaurant. I do find it endearing now.

[cjeanette]

Aug 27, 2015 18:06:26 GMT -5 satsuma said:

Aug 27, 2015 18:02:41 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

WE ARE JUST FRIENDLY OKAY!

So I grew up in Seattle but my parents are from the midwest and I always used to be mortified at how friendly they were with everyone. I was like, the sales guy doesn't need to know the reason you're buying those shoes is because you're heading back for a family reunion and a distant cousin is also getting married, but the reception isn't going to be one of those fancy hotel ones, but something simple at a low key restaurant. I do find it endearing now.

I am actually pretty non-chatty. My H is the guy who tells the shoe salesman his life story. While I give him the stink eye or walk away to avoid conversation.

[thatgirl2478]

Aug 27, 2015 18:00:37 GMT -5 satsuma said:

I don't know if this is flammable, but my first thought was wondering if you are in the Midwest. Not because the lady was crazy, but because I hear so many peoples' life stories whenever I visit there.

LOL - I AM in the midwest, but this was more than just someone sharing their life story...

[anna7602]

Yep, crazy. Except for the walking two miles part, but in context, that one is crazy, too.

When I moved as a WAH person, I "dated" potential friends like it was an additional job. If I met someone who was even vaguely interesting in a yoga class or at a work event of DH's or at pick-up/drop-off at DD's school, I immediately set up coffee or lunch dates. I also met people through this board (hi, @myblue!). It takes a huge effort and can be demoralizing when you realize 5 minutes into a coffee date that you have nothing in common, but the pay-off is awesome when you finally click with someone.

[thatgirl2478]

Aug 27, 2015 18:39:54 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Yep, crazy. Except for the walking two miles part, but in context, that one is crazy, too.

When I moved as a WAH person, I "dated" potential friends like it was an additional job. If I met someone who was even vaguely interesting in a yoga class or at a work event of DH's or at pick-up/drop-off at DD's school, I immediately set up coffee or lunch dates. I also met people through this board (hi, @myblue!). It takes a huge effort and can be demoralizing when you realize 5 minutes into a coffee date that you have nothing in common, but the pay-off is awesome when you finally click with someone.

Hmmm. that might work... DD1 goes back to pre school soon...

[teatimefor2]

I joined our local MOMS Club and I've met some really great moms that way. Last night we had a Moms night out with a yoga session at a local place followed by ladies night out at the place across the street for wine. Meeting new people is super hard; I always have a brief moment of panic before I meet new people, especially potential friends for me. Hugs.

[HitchedIn2006]

I'm sure I'm no more than 10 minutes from you... And I'm not crazy like the Mission gal... But play date??

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2015 18:39:54 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Yep, crazy. Except for the walking two miles part, but in context, that one is crazy, too.

When I moved as a WAH person, I "dated" potential friends like it was an additional job. If I met someone who was even vaguely interesting in a yoga class or at a work event of DH's or at pick-up/drop-off at DD's school, I immediately set up coffee or lunch dates. I also met people through this board (hi, @myblue!). It takes a huge effort and can be demoralizing when you realize 5 minutes into a coffee date that you have nothing in common, but the pay-off is awesome when you finally click with someone.

I love being tagged in threads about crazy people! Lol

as for the OP, I agree with the friend dating or trying meetup to meet new people. Or maybe taking classes to meet new people that would share an interest with you.

[aspentosh]

Oh no! It's sad how hard it is to find sane friends. Sigh...

[leonard131]

Meeting mom friends who are normal is seriously like dating. I have had a hard time meeting anyone with the exception of pippa but we technically met at a mmm GTG so it doesn't count. And for the record -she is normal :-)

My problem is that on the surface they seem normal and then after the first one or times together the crazy comes out.

[pippa]

Aug 28, 2015 8:46:16 GMT -5 leonard131 said:

Meeting mom friends who are normal is seriously like dating. I have had a hard time meeting anyone with the exception of pippa but we technically met at a mmm GTG so it doesn't count. And for the record -she is normal :-)

My problem is that on the surface they seem normal and then after the first one or times together the crazy comes out.

When I saw the tag in this thread, I wasn't sure where you were going with this.    

But yes, it's so hard to make good solid friendships as an adult.  I've made two really good friends in the last year, leonard131 being one of them.  It restores my faith that it's possible, but I also think I will quit while I'm ahead.  

[jeaniebueller]

It gets much easier to try to connect with other mom friends once your kids are in school and in activities. During practices and lessons, all the parents just stand around and have no choice but to interact. LOL Looks like your older kid is 4, so you are so close. Hang in there! It is so hard to make friends at this age. I hear you.

[jewel]

It is so hard to meet normal people! So far, I've met one mom through swimming who seems to be really cool and normal. We've had a couple of meetups outside of the activity, and she doesn't seem crazy so far.

The rest...no luck. I did meet another girl a couple of weeks ago who seemed fun. She was pretty quick to invite us over to her farm so the kids could play with the animals. She Facebook friended me, and invited me to a girls night party at her house. I started feeling a little weird, like, why is this lady inviting me to so much stuff so quickly? THEN I saw someone else mention that this "girls night" is really going to be an MLM attack. Ooooook. Got it. She doesn't want to be friends, she just wants to harass me to buy her crap. Or be a coach under her, or whatever.

[thatgirl2478]

Aug 28, 2015 9:47:14 GMT -5 jewel said:

It is so hard to meet normal people! So far, I've met one mom through swimming who seems to be really cool and normal. We've had a couple of meetups outside of the activity, and she doesn't seem crazy so far.

The rest...no luck. I did meet another girl a couple of weeks ago who seemed fun. She was pretty quick to invite us over to her farm so the kids could play with the animals. She Facebook friended me, and invited me to a girls night party at her house. I started feeling a little weird, like, why is this lady inviting me to so much stuff so quickly? THEN I saw someone else mention that this "girls night" is really going to be an MLM attack. Ooooook. Got it. She doesn't want to be friends, she just wants to harass me to buy her crap. Or be a coach under her, or whatever.

LOL - at one point I thought the park lady was going to break out 'oh BTW I'm selling xyz MLM product, are you interested in having a party?!'