-DH wants to go to a function, he says it is really important to him that I go too. I really don't want to go (for a very good reason), but told him I would, BUT I'd like to not have it be a late night. DH says we will try to leave as soon as 'appropriate'
I feel I am compromising on going to the function, but he is not compromising by not making any promises on us leaving early.
Not sure if any of this is making sense, sorry for the vagueness.
Thanks for the replies
A compromise, here, to me would be to take two cars, and you leave when you want.
That's presuming the reason you don't want to be there is an innocuous but otherwise important reason. I can see problems there. If the reason you don't want to go to this function is your former dh and his wife will be there and the former dh beat you, I'd say fuck no, don't go. If the reason you don't want to go is you are dying to play Warrior Princess Video Contest 2015 on line, which is important to you, I would say um, you should go because your dh is more important than a video game.
So, what is the function and the good reason you have?
Function is a social gathering and my reasoning is that I am in a lot of pain from an injury I have. The function could easily be cancelled, and I can also deal with the pain.
A compromise, here, to me would be to take two cars, and you leave when you want.
That's presuming the reason you don't want to be there is an innocuous but otherwise important reason. I can see problems there. If the reason you don't want to go to this function is your former dh and his wife will be there and the former dh beat you, I'd say fuck no, don't go. If the reason you don't want to go is you are dying to play Warrior Princess Video Contest 2015 on line, which is important to you, I would say um, you should go because your dh is more important than a video game.
So, what is the function and the good reason you have?
Function is a social gathering and my reasoning is that I am in a lot of pain from an injury I have. The function could easily be cancelled, and I can also deal with the pain.
Then his "Its important to me that you go" better be that this social gathering is stupidly important. Again - going to help his career? Going to visit 98 year old granny who we may never see again/friend about to ship off to war/etc? Suck it up and go.
Friday night drinks with the buddies? Eff that, you have some Netflix to watch.
Sometimes compromise means DH and I are mutually satisfied and other times it means we are mutually dissatisfied but it feels like we're both even in terms of the outcome.
Post by pantsparty on Aug 28, 2015 16:28:31 GMT -5
OMG, could the info in this post be any more piecemeal? None of us know how to advise you because we don't know the nature of the injury, we don't know the social event (does it happen weekly? Once every 5 years?), we don't know if you can drive separately and leave early, etc, etc.
Without this information I have no idea if you or your H is being unreasonable.
OMG, could the info in this post be any more piecemeal? None of us know how to advise you because we don't know the nature of the injury, we don't know the social event (does it happen weekly? Once every 5 years?), we don't know if you can drive separately and leave early, etc, etc.
Without this information I have no idea if you or your H is being unreasonable.
Haha- sorry! Guess I will give up trying to keep it generic DD
OMG, could the info in this post be any more piecemeal? None of us know how to advise you because we don't know the nature of the injury, we don't know the social event (does it happen weekly? Once every 5 years?), we don't know if you can drive separately and leave early, etc, etc.
Without this information I have no idea if you or your H is being unreasonable.
Haha- sorry! Guess I will give up trying to keep it generic Social event is that we are getting together with a colleague that I have never met before and we haven't gone out socially with before. This person my H feels could be beneficial to his career in the future. He wants me to go cause 'I'm his wife. ' H asks me to do things like this a few times a year. Injury is a hurt neck. I can drive, but I am in constant aching pain.
Hmmmm.
I think if you can pop some advil and be able to stand it, then I'd go.
If you really aren't physically up to it, he needs to understand it however.
OMG, could the info in this post be any more piecemeal? None of us know how to advise you because we don't know the nature of the injury, we don't know the social event (does it happen weekly? Once every 5 years?), we don't know if you can drive separately and leave early, etc, etc.
Without this information I have no idea if you or your H is being unreasonable.
Haha- sorry! Guess I will give up trying to keep it generic Social event is that we are getting together with a colleague that I have never met before and we haven't gone out socially with before. This person my H feels could be beneficial to his career in the future. He wants me to go cause 'I'm his wife. ' H asks me to do things like this a few times a year. Injury is a hurt neck. I can drive, but I am in constant aching pain.
Well, if I'm in a significant amount of pain and this is a one-on-one event where I'm going to be required to be social the entire time, this would be difficult to do with a neck injury. Is the colleague's wife going as well? I would try to reschedule - I would assume your H wouldn't hold it against his colleague if he had to reschedule for a similar reason?
It also depends on the colleague. In a similar situation, if it was kind of a co-worker, I might cancel. But if it was someone in a higher-ranking position than H or someone who had influence over his next career steps, I'd probably suck it up if I wasn't in debilitating pain.