potty training and withholding poop

[t]

Yesterday I put DD1 in underwear and I think she did pretty well.  From morning to nap, we went through 5 pairs of underwear.  Three of those accidents, she stopped herself mid-stream and finished peeing on the potty.  One time she was totally obstinate and stared at me while she splashed her toes in pee all over my hardwood floors.  And one time I caught her pooping and tried to get her to finish on the potty, but no dice.  She sat for a long time (I gave her the ipad) and she she peed a ton, but no poop.  When I went to wipe her, she fought me so much.  I finally got her to cooperate and noticed what I think was a hemorrhoid.  She has been fighting us on changing poopy diapers for weeks and many times her poop is pretty hard.

I gave her a little bit of miralax - probably less than a 1/4 capful - just to soften things and pushed fluids big time.  I added miralax to her sippy for daycare today, too.  She eats a ton of fruit already and whole wheat bread with her daily sandwich.  She is not really into many veggies, so I'd say she doesn't eat enough to make a difference.  She also has daily yogurt (so, some probiotics).  She loves milk and could drink it all day, but I try to limit it to meals and water the rest of the day. I know she drinks a lot of water at daycare.

The bigger issue is, I think she is intentionally withholding now because of her fear of pain when pooping, due to the hemi.  Aside from continuing with miralax for a little while and pushing fluids, any other suggestions?  I'm also trying to keep her away from binding foods (I know milk can be binding so I am limiting the volume as well as the frequency).  

She kept getting sad yesterday whenever I tried to talk to her about pooping on the potty.  At one point she said she was scared because it hurts.  This broke my heart.  I had constipation issues as a kid (and often as an adult) and I do not want her to go through it as well. I don't want to make her hate the potty, so we have been trying not to make a big deal of it when she poops in her diaper.  We just keep encouraging the potty so that she can have a treat.   She gets mini m&ms for successful peeing in the potty and that is working well.  I let her pick out a treat for pooping on the potty (dum dum pops) in addition to these little Disney action figures.  She talks a big game and seems excited about pooping on the potty at all times during the day, except for when she has to poop.    

Admittedly I have not read any books about this.  I'm looking on Amazon for something - what are the books that you guys have read?  I vaguely remember talk of a short e-book.  The only resource I have is Daniel Tiger, which we watched yesterday and sang the song all day and this morning.  

[vmars]

Not sure but we are going through something similar. Ds currently has gastroparesis (can't digest food is properly) and if he doesn't poop he will puke. He puked last night and DC is starting to pt. He won't poop on the potty so I think he holds it and makes him constipated. I told them to hold off pting right now bc he needs to get better first. He's only 20 months and I am in no rush to pt, but maybe taking a break from pting until her hemroid improves would be best.

[anaps28]

We went through a with holding poop phase. It sucks. DS1 would go through 6 or 7 days of holding it in. It was really upsetting. My pedi told me to give him a quarter of a cap of Miralax every day for a month to help move things along more consistently. I also gave culturelle packets in his drinks and made sure he was eating a ton of fruit.
We tried candy, toys- I even got desperate and was like you can pick out whatever you want from the toy aisle at target...but no dice... it was a big control thing for him bc he was adamant it was too scary to sit to poop. We read books and sang songs used that potty time ap etc It came down to spending a lot of time in the bathroom and letting him know that it was going to be OK and not to be scared.
I agree with not making a big deal out of it. Talk less about it. I think they can sense our emotions in regards to it. I can't say one thing truly helped us bc it really was just a phase that we went through.
I did the 3 day method and he pee trained super fast. He was still in a pull up overnight and at nap time. Once I got rid of the pull ups is when he started holding in his poop. It took us a 6 months to get him to consistently poop on the potty.

[CrazyLucky]

Oh boy did we go through this exact thing. She did really well peeing, but refused to poop. After a few days, we were on the phone with the pediatrician. She recommended Miralax, eventually getting to the max dose. That did not work. The child went 9 days without pooping, and finally the doc was like, "You have to do the suppository." When you're thinking about parenting, sticking something up your kid's butt doesn't really enter the thought process. But that's what we did. About two minutes later it started coming out. I ran her into the potty and she pooped and pooped. After that, we kept up with the Miralax for a while, so it would be soft and she would get over her fear. It worked.
We had a relapse after vacation this summer. We ended up having to do the suppository again, which was even worse this time because she knew what it was. Now we buy her the fiber gummies. She likes them, it keeps everything soft, and we've reached a compromise of pooping every other day. When she poops on th epotty, she wants me to call her "superman girl."
DH and I wonder, how did we get to the point where poop is such a common topic of conversation?

[t]

Sept 1, 2015 9:59:37 GMT -5 lucybrown said:

How old is DD? I think this is totally normal.

My DD started withholding poop when daycare tried getting her to go on the potty at age 2. They noticed her going in her diaper and scooped her up to get her to the potty. She's 4 now and we still have problems with her holding her poop to the point she has accidents because she can't hold it anymore. It's totally emotional/mental. She doesn't like to go because it will hurt, which makes her hold it, which makes it worse. It's a terrible cycle. We've done a few things to help improve the situation. 1. We feed her less carbs/dairy and more fiber. 2. Instead of miralax, a small amount of apple juice daily helps. 3. We have built the routine of her sitting on the potty every night before bed with a book for awhile. It's getting better.

She will be three on Saturday.

[t]

Sept 1, 2015 9:28:33 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

I've never had a hemi - is there anything you can do to help it heal (I know they don't go away, but make it so it's not flared up) faster? I'd really see if you can ease the pain and after that's under control go back to trying the potty.

I hadn't considered that. I will try some hydrocortisone cream before bed tonight. Thanks!

[faith194]

DS withheld last summer(3.5 at the time) We did Mirilax that did help, we also stopped putting pressure on him from doing it on the pot(he exclusively did poop on the potty from 15 months to 25 months). We actually went through a really hard time last year and made pooping on the potty a huge deal and it made it so much worse.

He still does not poop on the potty at almost 5, but we are seeing a psychologist about this issue. Just getting him to poop was a huge battle. We no longer use Mirilax at the psychologist's urging, and we use flax which is awesome and does the trick.

There are several books that DS loves, but it has not helped him.

Good luck!

[t]

Sept 1, 2015 10:26:08 GMT -5 @starry said:

DD wouldn't poop on the potty for a week, and she is a twice a day pooper. She would beg for a diaper.

Finally I bribed her. MOTY.

The bribing is not working. Believe me I'm trying.

So did you put a diaper on her just do she could poop? I have no idea how to navigate that situation. Especially because DD does not ever announce that she needs to poop. She will usually announce "don't touch my poop" after she's already done. Yesterday she had no issue pooping in her underwear.

[thebreakfastclub]

Sept 1, 2015 18:15:48 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

So my kid is the only one that calls us lucky for getting to see him poop, tells us to sit down and watch him poop, and then tells us if it's a biiiig poop or a little pooperoni?

Sometimes he gives us a play by play as they exit. Not sure if this is his natural tendency or a reaction to our openness and cheering him on when we started potty training.

In our house, DS decides if it's a Mommy, Daddy or Owen poop, but we weigh in as well.  If there is more than one, they are a family of poops.

Then we say goodbye to the poop.

The only downside is that if he can't actually poop, or worse yet, just farts, he's pretty disappointed.  
 

[t]

Yesterday at daycare they put a pull-up on for nap, like I asked. After nap they had DD go sit on the potty before putting her back in underwear. Apparently she started yelling, "my poop fell out! My poop fell out!" Director went in the bathroom and there was a giant poop on the floor lol. She must have pooped in the pull-up and it fell out when she took it off. I gave her a mini reward since I was just happy she pooped.

I dropped her off today around 11 and she was dry up until then. She said her belly hurt so I'm betting she had to poop but will wait until she gets her pull-up at nap. At this point, I just want her to poop. So we will not make a big deal of it and continue to offer the potty when we can tell she has to go.
I did buy preparation h for her butt. It looked much better today.

[cinco]

DD2 did this for months after she was potty trained. She went from going once a day to once a week (and clogging the toilet every damn time). We tried mirilax and she started having pee accidents. The best thing for her was for us to stop bringing it up. She is so stubborn and refuses all bribes. It is somewhat normal, and she did get over it.