1977 "Mommy Wars"

[halfpint]

This was in our local paper in 1977. Someone in my local babywearing FB group dug it up when researching babywearing history. Some things never change! The writing is a little awkward in places, but still an interesting read. I laughed a bit at the "benign neglect" - who knew I was such a Vogue Mother?


By LUQA HERNDON

"Lord save me from the new breed of mother. I recently joined the ranks of motherhood and didn't know that such a person I call the New Mother existed. But she does and you can spot her a mile away.

The New Mother (also known as the Vogue Mother) used to be into macrame but now she's into childbirth and childcare. The New Mother breast feeds her infant until she's pregnant again two or three years later. The New Mother wears her child strapped to her chest in the New Mother Approved Handy Dandy Child Carrier. (So the babe can hear her heart beat, just like in the womb). The New Mother doesn't use disposable diapers. Bad for the ecology and makes babies prone to diaper rash. Only cloth diapers will do. The New Mother buys some of her baby's wardrobe through little shops in England where some little English nanny types make little clothes for the little tykes. The New Mother makes her own baby food, carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to take home and grind into the same mucky goop that dear ole Uncle Gerber sells.

Imagine my horror when strolling down the baby food aisle in the local supermarket one day with my eight- month-old child happily singing to herself. She catches sight of rows and rows of baby food jars and immediately starts listing over the side of cart grabbing for the jars and shrieking in delight. Just then I spot a Vogue Mother, her child strapped to her chest heading down the aisle in my direction. I'm trapped. I lamely try to explain that my daughter happens to like the colorful labels. She gives me a wan smile and continues down the aisle. I hurriedly throw some jars into the cart and skulk out of the store. New Mothers never feed their toddlers hot dogs.

New Mothers, although relatively new on the scene, are increasing in number. Because motherhood is now an option in a marriage and not a requirement, women are taking to childbearing like a new hobby. If they weren't doing their Lamaze breathing techniques they would be batiking a wall hanging or painting china cups. They are into natural things, foods, clothes etc., 'going back to nature. Children of mothers into Motherhood Chic spend a lot of time playing with wooden toys. Much more natural than plastic. You won't find anything from Mattel in their house.

New Mothers are into benign neglect. Let the child learn by doing. If the child's favorite pastime is sitting in the dog's water dish, let him. You can mop up the floor later. For a while I tried to go along with the regimen. I took a Lamaze course, learned how to breathe right, practiced the exercises and dragged my husband through it. I bought an approved Handy Dandy Hold the Baby Close to Your Heart carrier. And I mashed up bananas for my new infant. So how did it work? The baby was born via Caesarean section so I didn't get to use the Lamaze techniques; I found that the front carrier was fine during the winter, but the baby almost died of heat stroke during the summer; and more mashed bananas wound up in her hair than in her mouth. My daughter now eats baby food from jars and drinks cow's milk from a glass and loves it. I've given up the carrier for a stroller and even though it is her favorite pastime I rarely let her sit in the cat's food dish. Next month I'm taking up macrame."

[SJ]

I guess I am the Old/Un-Vogue Mother then?

[anna7602]

It does not surprise me that there has always been someone sitting around ridiculing someone else for not doing things exactly as she does and hiding it under the guise of "oh, but I'm too cool to care about this."

[rugbywife]

I wish my mom were still alive so I could hear what she thinks of me as a parent.

[bowies]

My mom was a Vogue Mother. LOL.

Though she ditched the CD and homemade baby food pretty darn fast. I take after her.

[kershnic]

I love that people claim all this crunchy mom stuff now is 'new' - and was also 'new' in the 70's. What do you know, there has always been more than one way to raise a baby. Shocker.

Also my mom totally BF and CD and all that stuff in the 70's and 80's. So I guess she was a Vogue Mother. And I do it now in the 2010's so I'm some sort of quasi crunchy mom. All new!

[Deleted]

Lol. The more things change, the more they stay the same

[mswax]

rugbywife, I feel the same way.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Thanks for sharing!

My mom was pretty much a "vogue mother," but she happily fed us baby food from a jar. She tells a story of being shamed in the baby food aisle once when I was a baby -- she was buying Gerber jars and another mother walked by and said pointedly to her own infant, "That's food in a jar for babies. YOU never had that because I made all your own food."

Some things don't change.

[halfpint]

My MIL was very much like this, but it was more out of necessity than wanting to be trendy. She had 7 kids between 1970 and 1984, man! Breastfeeding was free, cloth diapers saved money, jarred food was too expensive, and the Snugli kept her hands free to chase after the older children

She's a bit of a nut, and she drives me crazy, but I appreciate that she's been supportive of some of the choices we've made!

[fashionx]

What a good read. Nobody is ever safe from judgement, ha! But its interesting to see how things are much the same.

Sent from my Moto X using Proboards.

[Willis Jackson]

My mom was totally a Vogue Mother.

[curbsideprophet]

As is typically with lots of articles like this, there is a lot of projecting going on. Just because someone chooses to the options of the New/Vogue mother does not mean the New/Vogue mother is judging someone else for doing it differently.

She only mentions one interaction as an example and she started the exchange. I am not really sure what I would say if I was in the baby food aisle and someone commented on their child liking all the colors.

We babywear but we also use a stroller or put the kid in a cart depending on the situation.

[anna7602]

Sept 1, 2015 12:14:27 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

We babywear but we also use a stroller or put the kid in a cart depending on the situation.

I baby wear and use the stroller for groceries. I need it to haul everything home!