blog: 7 annoying FB moms

[pugz]

alamocity.citymomsblog.com/2015/09/01/seven-annoying-facebook-moms/

There’s a new crop of annoying moms on Facebook. I’m not talking about hashtag over-users. Please—that’s so 2014. I’m not talking about the compulsive check in-ers or the “like” happy friend we all have with whom we don’t really know how or why we became friends in the first place. Everyone is used to those people.



Here is the new and improved list of the seven most annoying Facebook moms, 2015 edition. Do you know one of these moms? Are you one of these moms?



1. The Humblebragging Overachiever Mom



Are you friends with someone who posts a status update that goes something like this?:



“Got my run in (only four miles today!), made a month’s worth of freezer meals, washed the car, and spent a full hour teaching my three-year-old to crochet. It’s almost 10:00 A.M.—I’m such a slacker!! #LazyMommy”



It goes without saying we all want to smack the person who’s “look at meeeeeee, I’m super woman!” updates pop into our newsfeeds, especially when it’s almost 10:00 A.M. and we’re still wearing our pajamas. I’m totally not advocating violence here, but chances are, if you do smack this mom, no one will be that mad about it.



2. The Uber-Granola Mom



This mom posts often—and by “often,” I mean several times a day—about the evils of processed food:



“Sent my little Petunia to school with a nitrate-free sandwich with organic spouts. No GMO-laden food for THIS family! I’m so lucky my kids like organic carob bites. Of course, they’ve never actually seen a Twinkie because I’m raising them to appreciate good food!”



If you post pictures accidentally bearing evidence that your kids eat SpaghettiOs or—gasp!—Lunchables, she’ll send you an invite to “like” the Food Babe page and tag you in posts that have hashtags like #SodiumIsEvil and #ChiaSeedsRuleThePlanet. I’m not knocking healthy eating, but moderation, K? Ignore her and take secret pleasure in the fact that her kid is probably trading lunches with the kid who brought the bologna Lunchable.



3. The Personal Trainer Mom—as in, Personal Potty Trainer



If you ever wondered what another family’s potty habits are all about, you should be friends with this mom. She will tell you how often, what color, and give you a play-by-play of any accidents. She’s an expert on various toilet-training methods and isn’t above posting pictures of little Emily sitting on her tiny princess throne.



If you are absolutely uninterested in potty training anything, you might want to hide this woman’s status updates until all her spawn are safely out of diapers. For those of you still aboard the potty train, keep her around. You never know when you’re going to need someone to give you Facebook high-fives when your kid doesn’t pee his pants because sometimes that is the best part of your day.



4. The “My Kid Has a Rash” Mom



How many times have you opened Facebook to find a picture of an unidentified body part—could be a butt, could be a shin—decorated with equally unidentifiable hives or bumps?



“Hey, do y’all think this looks like poison oak or eczema?”



Doesn’t this one just make you want to scream, “Take your kid to the flippin’ doctor!”?! Seriously, moms—at the very least, consult WebMD. But stop calling on Dr. Facebook. It’s lame.



5. The Recipe-Sharing Mom



This mom’s Facebook is cluttered with recipes. No memes. No passive-aggressive status updates. No family photos. F-O-O-D. Clearly she’s a blossoming foodie who is confusing Facebook with Pinterest. She may be social media challenged, so if this person is in your life or on your friend’s list, take her under your wing and school her up on how to set up a Pinterest account so she can pin ’til her heart’s content.



Be nice about it, though. She may thank you with one of her newly discovered recipes, like peanut butter chocolate turtle truffle brownies—and who wouldn’t like that?



6. The “Let Me Invite You Into My Cool New Closed Group” Mom



This is usually someone you have been Facebook friends with for exactly 43 seconds, after which the invites begin to roll in. Jamberry Nails, those belly-shrinking wrap thingymadoos, neighborhood yard sale groups, groups affiliated with school, crafts, hobbies…whatever.



You may not actually know this mom. You may be confused as to why she friend-requested you in the first place, but darn it, she’s including you in her group that will clog up your notifications in about 7.4 seconds.



Have fun with this one.



7. The Instigator Mom



The instigator mom usually keeps silent about her real views on divisive topics such as breastfeeding, vaccinations, circumcisions, and whether you should let your kids eat the hotdog Lunchable, but she’s the first to post any sort of inflammatory or controversial article on her Facebook feed:



“Hey, friends—saw this article on moms who don’t believe in vaccinating their kids… I’ll just leave this right here.”



She sits back and watches the claws come out in the comments while she snickers from behind her screen and eats popcorn. Discussion is good, and sometimes dissenting opinions can be enlightening, but not when they’re introduced to “friends” as fuel for the drama fire. No one needs that kind of friend, online or off.



Facebook is the new hangout for sanctimommies, passive-aggressives, and the “I take myself waaaaayyyy too seriously” crowd. We can all recognize one of the moms in this list—maybe even ourselves. No one is perfect, moms.

[Deleted]

I occasionally share recipes when I make something good. I feel bad. Is that annoying? Like 1x.......month? maybe less?

[pugz]

Sept 2, 2015 14:01:54 GMT -5 smileyface said:

I occasionally share recipes when I make something good. I feel bad. Is that annoying? Like 1x.......month? maybe less?

no that is fine!  It's when it's allll you post and it clogs the newsfeed that you need to head to pinterest.  But if you are posting "I made this and it is awesome!" that's totally different than just sharing recipes you WANT to make.  

[redpenmama]

Yep. The Humblebragger is very #blessed (...usually even #soblessed) too.

[stretchad]

I'm the mom that posts pictures of their kid smearing food all over themselves.

[Deleted]

This is what I'm a member of GBCN. I get all that annoying shit done here, semi-anonymously!

[mlt]

I'm basically friends with 100 Humblebragging Overachiever Moms. Except the people I know also extend it to their kids. "Lainey Marie got a 95% on her spelling test. We gave her a hug and told her it would be okay, practice makes perfect. #betterlucknexttime #proudmom"

Definitely a LOT of the "Ate like FIVE thin mints! Ugh! Gotta run an extra 5K! #sweatlife"

Or "Missing my husband so much since his promotion to VP of Important Department. He's working so many late nights. He's the hardest worker I've ever met. So thankful he's such a good provider and lets me do the whining for both of us. "

[mlt]

I don't have any recipe sharing people my age but a ton of my mom's friends added me and then post nothing but recipes. I always want to respond "have you heard of Pinterest?"

[Susie]

Thanks to "hide" and "unfollow," I don't have much of this in my FB feed. I generally think anybody who posts the same sort of thing over and over is annoying. Doesn't matter if it's crossfit, running, selfies, potty training, work, mommy-martyring, pregnancy bitches, or whatever, or if it was interesting to me at the beginning.

Sometimes I actually check myself to make sure I don't have more than X posts in a row on the same topic. Considering I usually post maybe 2x/month though I figure I can't possibly annoy anyone TOO much.

[Deleted]

I have the "Kid eating the organic, non-GMO water chestnuts" mom.

I have and particularly dislike, the FB mom that insists on providing / debating religious reasons that one should basically not do anything but protest abortion, BCP, Planned Parenthood and gay marriage. If you don't stamp down The Evil, you are NOT a good person/Christian. Eye roll. I can't bring myself to delete her for the entertainment value. Also, we're sadly related.

And the essential oils (I have an oil for that!) Mom. And the jamberry mom who is also doing the bracelet one too (what is that one?).

I would say that I either: post pictures of DS, share non-controversial articles, or ask for suggestions (e.g., anyone with comments on a hotel in DC?). Or occasionally, recipes that I make, which pugz has assured me is not annoying.

[MNH2013]

Ugh I have a friend who shares every recipe she pins. So I see it twice, once on FB and once on Pinterest. (hey work is slow right now )

Dang pugz I forget I like people's stuff on there and hardly post my own 

[rxbeth]

I have a smug selfie taking over hashtagging Arbonne seller.

[fashionx]

I'm so sick of the group and online party invites to jamberry and the like. I always leave the groups right away. DH's cousin has about 5 different "businesses" and she keeps adding me to them. Ugh.

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