Toddler behavior - is this really unusual?

[anoushka]

Two women from EI came yesterday to do a speech evaluation for DS, who is 21 months. I wasn't aware of this, but apparently they do more of an overall behavioral evaluation as well. Their conclusion at the end of the visit was that yes, he is below average for speech, but he's also below average in behavioral areas and could use therapy to help him listen, pay attention, have more patience, etc. This sort of came as a surprise to me -- DS is by no means perfect, and he certainly does need to work on those things, but don't most 21-month-olds? They used examples like, "Doesn't always do as directed," "Wants to do things on his terms," "Gets frustrated if a task is challenging," etc. I admit that I don't have a ton of experience with young kids, but I kinda thought those examples could describe most almost-two-year-olds... am I totally off base? I do want him to get therapy if he's really behind most kids.

[Deleted]

Speech delays increase frustration and would impact a lot of that stuff. I'm assuming you've already had a hearing test?

[fortnightlily]

I have no idea what their professional criteria are, but blanket statements like "Doesn't always do as directed," "Wants to do things on his terms," "Gets frustrated if a task is challenging," can definitely be said for my non-speech-delayed 23 month old.

[drloretta]

Um, my 5yo is like that.

[anoushka]

Sept 2, 2015 15:25:52 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Speech delays increase frustration and would impact a lot of that stuff. I'm assuming you've already had a hearing test?

Yup, he passed a hearing test.

[whitemerlot]

I don't think it's unusual that they did a comprehensive assessment. I would take advantage of any services he qualifies for. They use standardized measures to evaluate kids.

[auntie]

Yeah. It's a thing.

Sure all kids his age are working on those sorts of behaviors, it's possible that his behaviors is not where most kids his age are in terms of intensity, frequency, etc. This could be exacerbated by a speech delay. Or not. Hard to say. DS's social and emotional development was quite delayed, in retrospect, but he was speaking in sentences at 15-16 months.

They may also be noting the behavior delays as a way to help qualify him to get speech services. Most EI programs require a significant delay in one area to get services-or- a less significant delay in 2 or more areas. If he's on the edge of qualifying, behavior might help tip things in your favor.

[mlt]

When they evaluated DS2 they definitely evaluated everything, not just his gross motor, which was why we were getting evaluated. They also compared him to other kids his age. Yes all kids do that stuff but they are evaluating if he's having more trouble than the average kid his age.

[anoushka]

Sept 2, 2015 15:31:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

All 2 year olds do these things, but my guess is that your son is doing these much more so than other kids his age.

I guess I'm just surprised at where they set the bar for "average." I mean, they brought a bag of new toys... I don't think it was too shocking that he was excited to play with them and didn't necessarily want to do everything they asked. I'm trying to be objective about it, but it's hard.

[mlt]

Sept 2, 2015 15:42:32 GMT -5 anoushka said:

Sept 2, 2015 15:31:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

All 2 year olds do these things, but my guess is that your son is doing these much more so than other kids his age.

I guess I'm just surprised at where they set the bar for "average." I mean, they brought a bag of new toys... I don't think it was too shocking that he was excited to play with them and didn't necessarily want to do everything they asked. I'm trying to be objective about it, but it's hard.

Right but all kids they see are exposed to those new toys. They are able to compare and evaluate all kids similarly and therefore spot differences. 

[Deleted]

I would definitely consider that they may game the evaluation a bit if they think he needs services but is on the cusp of bureaucratic cut offs.

[anoushka]

Sept 2, 2015 15:44:28 GMT -5 mlt said:

Sept 2, 2015 15:42:32 GMT -5 anoushka said:

I guess I'm just surprised at where they set the bar for "average." I mean, they brought a bag of new toys... I don't think it was too shocking that he was excited to play with them and didn't necessarily want to do everything they asked. I'm trying to be objective about it, but it's hard.

Right but all kids they see are exposed to those new toys. They are able to compare and evaluate all kids similarly and therefore spot differences. 

I get it, I do... I guess I'm just being defensive about my kid.

[hopecounts]

Be glad they are being proactive EI failed to catch my daughter's ASD.
Now maybe he is just a typical 2 yr old BUT if not the sooner you find out the sooner you can start the appropriate therapies.
A lot of this can be frequency/intensity/duration so yes nearly 2 yr olds do that stuff but if he is exhibiting the behavior at a greater degree then they usually see it's better to do a quick check and make sure there's nothing more going on then miss out on valuable therapy time that can improve long term outcomes.

[anoushka]

Sept 2, 2015 15:44:53 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I would definitely consider that they may game the evaluation a bit if they think he needs services but is on the cusp of bureaucratic cut offs.

This makes sense, good point.

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2015 15:27:21 GMT -5 fortnightlily said:

I have no idea what their professional criteria are, but blanket statements like "Doesn't always do as directed," "Wants to do things on his terms," "Gets frustrated if a task is challenging," can definitely be said for my non-speech-delayed 23 month old.

LOL

Ditto.

However I will say that I sometimes question on bad days (ahem, google search) whether my "spirited" toddler has sensory issues or something to make him extraordinarily difficult. 

[samanthamkm]

When we went through DD'S evaluation they deemed her needing help on Speech and Self Help. We only got her help with Speech.

[Deleted]

EI always does a comprehensive eval. So it covers all areas of development, not just the areas in which you have concerns.

Everything is scored on a %. After all of the evaluations I have been through (multiple ones for J and one for each girl) they show me what an average score range is for each area of development and where my child scored. My guess is your DD is just outside the normal range on this aspect of development. However, it is important to keep in mind that this is only a snapshot of your child. It reflects what she did on that day at that time. I personally wouldn't turn down services now. But I'd ask for another eval in a few months to see if she really needs them.

But, like @tokenhoser pointed out, speech delays often lead to this type of behavior because they can't communicate effectively and are super frustrated. So that may be impacting things too.

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2015 15:42:32 GMT -5 anoushka said:

Sept 2, 2015 15:31:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

All 2 year olds do these things, but my guess is that your son is doing these much more so than other kids his age.

I guess I'm just surprised at where they set the bar for "average." I mean, they brought a bag of new toys... I don't think it was too shocking that he was excited to play with them and didn't necessarily want to do everything they asked. I'm trying to be objective about it, but it's hard.

One of my girls cooperated more during the eval than the other. She would identify objects and said bye bye. The other refused to stop playing with the toy car and failed to identify a single object. They both had the exact samee abilities in that area at the time. One qualified for services and the other didnt. Sometimes it's a bad day thst can go either way. The one that didn't qualify really did need services and almost got by without getting the help she needed (had we done the eval 2 weeks later she would have qualified bevause she would have hit the higher age brackett) but was qualified based on a medical reason instead.

I don't think it can hurt to get services if offered. If you don't need them, you can always decline later.

[oliviapope]

Sept 2, 2015 15:42:32 GMT -5 anoushka said:

Sept 2, 2015 15:31:57 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

All 2 year olds do these things, but my guess is that your son is doing these much more so than other kids his age.

I guess I'm just surprised at where they set the bar for "average." I mean, they brought a bag of new toys... I don't think it was too shocking that he was excited to play with them and didn't necessarily want to do everything they asked. I'm trying to be objective about it, but it's hard.

Please know that the evaluators do this all day long. It is really easy to get "defensive" and feel like they are not picking your child. How he interacts with them and reacts to things tell them a lot of information. They have specific parameters for each month of age. If he is not meeting these standards they will let you know. They are absolutely comparing him to his age group. The language they use may be more general, but the guidelines are quite specific. Take advantage of any services offered!