I'm actually waiting for this post to become more pointed, instead of the tried and true SAHM vs WM catfight or the meds/no meds debate. Let's get personal.
I get tired of the chorus of "oh kick him in the nutsack! Do you want me to do it???" or "he's been treating you so shitty lately: he should buy you a mani and a pedi STAT or the marriage is O-VAH!" if a poster complains about their DH.
I'm all for the support of the sisterhood, let's face it--most of us here are not as bad-ass as we claim to be.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
my dogs ARE my furry children, and are more well behaved than some of my friends actual children.
Well, yes, my dog is much more well behaved than my own child. Unfortunately, dog training techniques are not always effective on people, even when they are very short people.
I get tired of the chorus of "oh kick him in the nutsack! Do you want me to do it???" or "he's been treating you so shitty lately: he should buy you a mani and a pedi STAT or the marriage is O-VAH!" if a poster complains about their DH.
I'm all for the support of the sisterhood, let's face it--most of us here are not as bad-ass as we claim to be.
I got really mad last week when I got called out on faking being empowered, because my husband and I have issues in our marriage. I do assy things too, but I don't tend to post about them, yanno?
flex - to be fair, I really think that has only happened with cheating, etc. Not like, "ooh, he didn't get up with the baby on his day off?! RAT BASTARD."
1. I think that being a SAHP can be hard, I don't think that watching the kid all day should make you not have to do dishes, laundry, or make dinner. Brought to you by FB friend who is bitching because her H is not understanding why she wasn't able to get any house chores done for the last two weeks.
I try my hardest to have the laundry done, house cleaned, dinner made, but doing this with kids around really is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos (source: I forget). FWIW, I have a 3 year old and an almost 1 year old. It is NOT easy. It is rewarding, but not easy. This thread is making me sad. Being a SAHM is a very looked down upon job and this isn't helping. It's like when women say that giving birth is easy. Ha!
I have little/no interest in other people's kids, aside from thinking that they are genuinely adorable from time to time. My nephew is the only exception, I'm convinced he's smarter than other kids. Smug aunt! My lack of maternal anything w/r/t to human little people is alarming. And, yet, put a marmoset on my lap and I'd be all, 'You want an organic apple, honey? Is the t.v. too loud? I'm going to go Google and see if I can find a green marmoset mansion for you on eBay!'
1. I think that being a SAHP can be hard, I don't think that watching the kid all day should make you not have to do dishes, laundry, or make dinner. Brought to you by FB friend who is bitching because her H is not understanding why she wasn't able to get any house chores done for the last two weeks.
I try my hardest to have the laundry done, house cleaned, dinner made, but doing this with kids around really is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos (source: I forget). FWIW, I have a 3 year old and an almost 1 year old. It is NOT easy. It is rewarding, but not easy. This thread is making me sad. Being a SAHM is a very looked down upon job and this isn't helping. It's like when women say that giving birth is easy. Ha!
I don't think it's "easy". Parenting isn't easy. Being an adult isn't easy.
But it can be easier to have 7 days in which to accomplish these things, vs. the 2 that people who also have to be in an office 5 days have, KWIM?
Quite frankly, the things that you do every day are the things that I take vacation days to do. That's my time off - to enjoy my family. Not that there isn't work involved, but it's different work than is required by being in an office all day.
That said, being at home is a hell of a lot more physically exhausting than sitting at a desk!
I know I'm adding to the SAHM debate by putting my two cents in but I've been on both ends.
I've been working since I was 16, no probably 12 because my mom is an entreprenuer and that's when she started her first business. I had Serena at 20 and I just quit my job this January. My hat goes off to all working mothers because it's hard balancing it all. I missed sooo much with Serena but I'm happy that she's still only 9 and I can be there more for her now and my other two girls.
I love being a SAHM now and I have no desire to return to the workforce though I recently started working for myself..but that's my nature. I constantly have to stay busy. Maybe it's different with one kid but I don't understand getting bored staying at home. There is always something to do. It's an easy job but still can get overwhelming and frustrating at times-again especially if dealing with more than one kid. It also feels thankless and isolating at times but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
You can love what you do but still dislike certain parts about it.
My U/O: I think too many women, including a lot I have seen ML are too quick to give up on their marriages. Marriage takes work. Some posts on here have me shocked at all the advice to 'get a lawyer, get your money in order, prepare for divorce, etc' when someone posts about low point in their marriage. I'm not saying any thing specific, but the general tone of the board is along the lines of 'he's an ass, leave him'. It makes me sad
I would like to add that the times I am most happy with being a WOHM are days like today, when M had a tantrum essentially from wake-up until drop off at daycare.
I am okay with missing out on the tantrummy 18 month old today. ha.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
And I disagree: I've seen this reaction with poopy DH's in general--not just the cheaty ones.
I know I'm the last one that most of you want to hear this from...
But a lot of times it's after example after example after example of why the H is "poopy". The guy doesn't forget to hold the door for her and people like me are "DUMP HIM NOW!". It usually comes after solid proof that the "poopy" moments are a symptom of a much larger problem.
I think Sue Sue's advice is often way off the mark, I've said this before but was reminded of it today with her anti-depressant stance.
I will add to this that while sometimes I really do agree with what she says, it irks me that so often her words are seen as FACT and not opinion at all. I don't know why, it's just weird.
1. I think that being a SAHP can be hard, I don't think that watching the kid all day should make you not have to do dishes, laundry, or make dinner. Brought to you by FB friend who is bitching because her H is not understanding why she wasn't able to get any house chores done for the last two weeks.
I try my hardest to have the laundry done, house cleaned, dinner made, but doing this with kids around really is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos (source: I forget). FWIW, I have a 3 year old and an almost 1 year old. It is NOT easy. It is rewarding, but not easy. This thread is making me sad. Being a SAHM is a very looked down upon job and this isn't helping. It's like when women say that giving birth is easy. Ha!
And this is the exact reason why I think it can be hard, but when someone posts pictures 3 days straight of shopping, the park, the pool, etc and then goes "OMG H didn't do the laundry GOSH" there is some major side eye. Now if you have had a teething baby that is screaming unless you are sitting and rocking her, then I get it sometimes you just can't make it happen.
And I haven't had kids yet, but in no way is birth easy. When something has a standard second evacuation route in place and most births require stitches, nope doesn't sound easy to me.
It's OK though. I still take them out, but don't you tell me it's EASY ::side eye::
Um, clearly that's different. Yeesh.
And, no offense to Bab, but not just hard for people w kids w special needs. Our boys are only 4.5 months and it's HARD WORK to take them out sometimes. I can only IMAGINE how it'll be when they're mobile and more human being-like.
Don't take them out EVER? Yeah, reevaluate hiding your children. But I don't blame Jake one iota for not taking them to the park, etc., daily, and being hesitant to even run errands alone with them.
My H and I would have probably been divorced by now if not for my Cymbalta.
I love my kid but 50% of the time, I'd rather be at work during the day. She's got way, way more energy than I can handle most days. I don't think I could handle being a SAHM. We have fun when we're home after work and on the weekends, but I think I'd lose my mind if I was home 24/7. And I'd probably wind up spending way, way too much money shopping just trying to get out of the house.