non-clicky poll: SO competition

[MrsPotatohead]

Are you better than your SO at things like sports/physical activities?

H and I are going through a rough patch and in that trying to get back to being friends and doing fun things together. One of the things he's *always* wanted is to do something we're both good at, or maybe even I could beat him at. The problem: I'm a girly girl who never played sports (marching band...), is petite, and overall lacks much athletic ability. I really enjoy watching sports and can keep up with that, but my things are baking, crafts, dance, etc. On the other hand, he's 6'3", very athletic, VERY competitive and picks up everything so easily. There was a time when I could beat him at bowling and then he started practicing (accidentally, he was volunteering with kids for a summer) and is much better than me now, lol. So far the only thing we discovered recently is that I'm slightly better at rock climbing and boldering than him and he really enjoyed that - it plays off of our different strengths well since I'm more flexible, but he's stronger. But I'm not sure either of us *loved* it enough to make it a hobby, although we've done each once.

So... what do you guys do? Can you think of an activity we could try?

[minion]

No I'm not better than H at physical activities except maybe yoga.

What about something like archery, bicycling, or hiking? My parents friends both got really into bicycling and now they go on rides together all the time, and get their exercise in at the same time. H and I used to hike all the time together. it was nice to get away from everything.

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 3, 2015 17:34:39 GMT -5 minion said:

No I'm not better than H at physical activities except maybe yoga.

What about something like archery, bicycling, or hiking? My parents friends both got really into bicycling and now they go on rides together all the time, and get their exercise in at the same time. H and I used to hike all the time together. it was nice to get away from everything.

we are the worst at this, lol. So... I never really learned how to ride a bike I know, I know. My parents bought me one, I tried ALL THE TIME. I even had a HS teacher take me out during school to practice because she was so horrified, lol. It just never stuck. H doesn't even have a bike and while he probably can ride, hasn't in a long time. My H normally hates walking/hiking, he wants a goal and competition. This is why I think over the years we never really found anything, but it's apparently one of the (main?) things that he thinks would make it easier for him to connect.  

I might still suggest the hiking again though. And archery is a good one

[MrsPotatohead]

so I guess he's willing to do archery, lol, who knew

via text conversation, apparently me beating him at something is very attractive - guys, this is what it will take to save our marriage, lol. I told him I find brunch activities attractive.

ETA: so this place actually looks pretty cool www.nextsteparchery.com/

[kwpnjumper55]

I've always been the physical more competitive one. I'm no help

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 3, 2015 18:18:25 GMT -5 kwpnjumper55 said:

I've always been the physical more competitive one. I'm no help

so what types of things do you do together?

also, how do I become more competitive? lol

[kwpnjumper55]

Sept 3, 2015 18:19:56 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Sept 3, 2015 18:18:25 GMT -5 kwpnjumper55 said:

I've always been the physical more competitive one. I'm no help

so what types of things do you do together?

also, how do I become more competitive? lol

The only thing we do is walk together. But I also ride horses and play soccer. I honestly don't know how to become more competitive, I've been like this as a kid. Always wanted to be the best, always wanted to be better. It's not a good thing as an adult, I'm super competitive about my grades and get upset if I don't get a 4.0.

[FrozenSunshine]

Our most competitive activity together is Uno. We hold grudges

We played co-ed softball on a drinking team onetime and had fun but then moved and never found another one.

I can out fish him as well!

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 3, 2015 18:29:39 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

we are split - I'm good at running, swimming, paddle boarding, he's better at motorcycling and bicycling - the rest it just depends, we're kind of even steven. We're both fairly athletic (but woefully out of shape currently). And we're both super competitive but even with each other but we have fun with it.

Can you do more cooperative or adventurous stuff like zip lines or trampoline dodge ball? Something where you're both on equal - or unequal - ground? Silly competition? Go-karts? Skeet shooting? Paintball (you'd actually have the advantage there!), roller skating, ice skating, or maybe join a rec soccer team together?

I've wondered this as well, if maybe just doing adventurous stuff would be sufficient (? ha). good suggestions!

[dana86]

I am definitely more athletic in the sports area. H is better at biking but I am better at all else lol. We love going shooting (he is better at this and does competitions but its still fun), and hiking or just trail walks- peaceful places that kind of allow us to reconnect. We also do game night date nights that have been lots of fun.

[jamer]

Stopping over from parenting board but what about golf? I play with my husband and he is better but helps cause I get to use women's tees and I more play to beat my own score

[karebear219]

I'm more competitive but we're equally athletic. We go for runs together, but lately we also kayak. I like taking the double kayak because he can paddle his heart out and I can relax.

[theoriginalbean]

I like the idea of trying more adventurous activities, if you can't find something to actually compete for. We do a lot of that stuff and I feel like there's a great feeling of togetherness in the adventure and the accomplishment.

[alias]

I'm the competitive one, X wasn't particularly athletic and was more of a home-body.

But, some non-athletic ideas are fantasy football, I make bets about CC all the time, words with friends, cards, board games. What about dancing? It's not exactly competitive, but could be fun. Kayaking, river rafting (although, it will be getting cold). Darts, pool? Video games?

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 3, 2015 20:27:29 GMT -5 jamer said:

Stopping over from parenting board but what about golf? I play with my husband and he is better but helps cause I get to use women's tees and I more play to beat my own score

he's actually really amazing at golf, so I probably can't beat him at that lol. I also don't have the patience for it (he did try to teach me once)

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 3, 2015 23:50:45 GMT -5 alias said:

I'm the competitive one, X wasn't particularly athletic and was more of a home-body.

But, some non-athletic ideas are fantasy football, I make bets about CC all the time, words with friends, cards, board games. What about dancing? It's not exactly competitive, but could be fun. Kayaking, river rafting (although, it will be getting cold). Darts, pool? Video games?

we did actually have a lot of fun when we took dance lessons for our wedding, I wonder if he'd be up for trying it again

also pool reminds me that that was one of our first dates! we could definitely try that again (I'd really need to practice though, lol). He loves video games and is VERY competitive when it comes to that. For a period we tried playing some, but my skill level is so much lower he started to get bored after a while playing ones I could actually do (his 15+ years of experience is a little unfair, lol).

[mkate710]

We love to ski together, but aren't super competitive about it. I suppose we could be.

This summer we really enjoyed stand up paddle boarding a couple times.

He is naturally more athletic than I am but stuff like running, I "practice" more so I'm probably in better shape than he is lately. He doesn't really enjoy running though.

And I guess if we tried we could make wine drinking a competition but, wine was something we learned about together and developed a shared interest for early on and we still love to go visit tasting rooms and come up with food pairings and such.

What about tennis? Batting cages? We have friends who play rec soccer on a coed team as a couple and really love that.

Also, just wanted to say sorry for your rough patch, I hope things get better for you guys very soon!

[minion]

What about foot golf? or soccer golf? I think that is what it's called...

[alias]

Sept 4, 2015 9:12:02 GMT -5 minion said:

What about foot golf? or soccer golf? I think that is what it's called...

Frisbee golf.

[minion]

Sept 4, 2015 11:05:31 GMT -5 alias said:

Sept 4, 2015 9:12:02 GMT -5 minion said:

What about foot golf? or soccer golf? I think that is what it's called...

Frisbee golf.

I meant this www.fostergolflinks.com/-footgolf

H went to a bachelor party where they played this recently. But one of my co workers does play Frisbee Golf with her husband.

[alias]

Sept 4, 2015 11:40:56 GMT -5 minion said:

Sept 4, 2015 11:05:31 GMT -5 alias said:

Frisbee golf.

I meant this www.fostergolflinks.com/-footgolf

H went to a bachelor party where they played this recently. But one of my co workers does play Frisbee Golf with her husband.

I was just adding another suggestion.

[MrsPotatohead]

Sept 4, 2015 7:45:29 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

We love to ski together, but aren't super competitive about it. I suppose we could be.

This summer we really enjoyed stand up paddle boarding a couple times.

He is naturally more athletic than I am but stuff like running, I "practice" more so I'm probably in better shape than he is lately. He doesn't really enjoy running though.

And I guess if we tried we could make wine drinking a competition but, wine was something we learned about together and developed a shared interest for early on and we still love to go visit tasting rooms and come up with food pairings and such.

What about tennis? Batting cages? We have friends who play rec soccer on a coed team as a couple and really love that.

Also, just wanted to say sorry for your rough patch, I hope things get better for you guys very soon!

he's actually bad at these, so maybe this is a good start

and thanks, he's been going to individual counseling and now we're going to start marriage counseling, hopefully things get better soon

[alias]

Sept 4, 2015 12:39:25 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Sept 4, 2015 7:45:29 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

We love to ski together, but aren't super competitive about it. I suppose we could be.

This summer we really enjoyed stand up paddle boarding a couple times.

He is naturally more athletic than I am but stuff like running, I "practice" more so I'm probably in better shape than he is lately. He doesn't really enjoy running though.

And I guess if we tried we could make wine drinking a competition but, wine was something we learned about together and developed a shared interest for early on and we still love to go visit tasting rooms and come up with food pairings and such.

What about tennis? Batting cages? We have friends who play rec soccer on a coed team as a couple and really love that.

Also, just wanted to say sorry for your rough patch, I hope things get better for you guys very soon!

he's actually bad at these, so maybe this is a good start

and thanks, he's been going to individual counseling and now we're going to start marriage counseling, hopefully things get better soon

Hugs! Being a grown up & being married are hard.