Why can't babies put themselves to sleep?

[pooh8402]

DH and I were just discussing this. I know they're not developmentally there yet, but why are babies not already made to put themselves to sleep?

This discussion was brought on by a 30 minute nursing session that DS fell asleep halfway through. I put him down in his napper, and he woke up within 5 minutes. He sleeps great at night by himself, but his best daytime sleep is always on me. Or in the car.

[Deleted]

Ditto pp.

Also, my DD liked a lot of noise to sleep. She loved her crib but sleep great during the day with a noise machine. The "ocean" setting worked best.

DS liked to move. Kid would probably still be in his swing at 1.5 if he hadn't outgrown it. He was a godawful night sleeper for over a year but would nap great in his swing.

[NandaB]

What she said, but without that snooty part at the end. The world is bright, cold, and loud. They need to get used to that. Some babies have an easier time than others.

[pooh8402]

But even when we do mimic that as closely as possible--white noise (loud), dark room, swaddled, it still doesn't work. He doesn't seem to like the swing, we've tried that several times.

[NandaB]

Sept 20, 2015 12:01:57 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

But even when we do mimic that as closely as possible--white noise, dark room, swaddled, it still doesn't work.

Swing? That was magic for 2 of my 3.

[lindsaymg]

Feel lucky you have a car sleeper. I would give anything for her to nap in the car instead of scream. That is all I have.

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:04:16 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:01:57 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

But even when we do mimic that as closely as possible--white noise, dark room, swaddled, it still doesn't work.

Swing? That was magic for 2 of my 3.

Nah he screams if he's in it for longer than 10 minutes.

[demofea01]

People are programmed to sleep at night. Even babies. It's harder for them to go to sleep during the day. It's why sleep training for naps is always harder then bedtime. How old is your LO?

[NandaB]

Sept 20, 2015 12:06:46 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:04:16 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Swing? That was magic for 2 of my 3.

Nah he screams if he's in it for longer than 10 minutes.

Hmmm vibrating bouncy seat? I've never used one, by I know people who loved them.

[ellipsis]

They need to make a baby equivalent of this:

[luv2rn4fun]

Sept 20, 2015 12:05:33 GMT -5 lindsaymg said:

Feel lucky you have a car sleeper. I would give anything for her to nap in the car instead of scream. That is all I have.

C has never been a great car sleeper either (he slept a whole 1 hr and 1.5 hr total on our 9 and 10 hr, respectively, road trip last week) and screamed the first 4 months or so in the car.

pooh8402- ((hugs)). It does get better- I promise! C really only napped well while being worn the first 4 months until I sleep trained. Even now he's not the best napper but much better than he was...and he can put himself to sleep, which had been a game chnager for me! Hang in there friend!

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:08:38 GMT -5 ellipsis said:

They need to make a baby equivalent of this:

YES

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:07:55 GMT -5 demofea01 said:

People are programmed to sleep at night. Even babies. It's harder for them to go to sleep during the day. It's why sleep training for naps is always harder then bedtime. How old is your LO?

9 weeks

Sept 20, 2015 12:08:11 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:06:46 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Nah he screams if he's in it for longer than 10 minutes.

Hmmm vibrating bouncy seat? I've never used one, by I know people who loved them.

He can take or leave vibration. It makes no difference to him.

[patbutcher]

Hugs. The best way to get my dd to sleep as a newborn was blaring the vacuum or hairdryer in her ear. The louder the better.

I also didn't have a car napper so you are ahead of the game there, my neighbor told me his daughter went to sleep in the car seat on the dryer every single time

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:10:31 GMT -5 @starry said:

The reasons were already covered but you have my sympathies. DD was very responsive to the 5 S's and despite her many flaws was a good napper. Not everyone gets as lucky. Being really tired is the worst. If he won't nap, can you maybe wear him to get more done?

He often screams in the carrier too. He'll tolerate any carrier for a few minutes then starts screaming.

I feel like everything that traditionally calms babies doesn't work on him. Except car rides and nursing.

[namasteak]

(((Hugs))) dS1 would only go to sleep nursing & nap in my arms for a long time.

[dcn]

I think just to drive us to the edge of insanity :/.

I got to a point where I just accepted it and wore him a lot of the time and watched a ton of Netflix while he snoozed and nursed. I think I held him for one nap a day even when he was like six months old.

Hang in there, it does get better though I know it is hard to imagine at this point in time!

[namasteak]

Sept 20, 2015 12:17:07 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:10:31 GMT -5 @starry said:

The reasons were already covered but you have my sympathies. DD was very responsive to the 5 S's and despite her many flaws was a good napper. Not everyone gets as lucky. Being really tired is the worst. If he won't nap, can you maybe wear him to get more done?

He often screams in the carrier too. He'll tolerate any carrier for a few minutes then starts screaming.

I feel like everything that traditionally calms babies doesn't work on him. Except car rides and nursing.

Which carriers have you tried? Some babies are sensitive about carriers.

[demofea01]

Sept 20, 2015 12:15:05 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:07:55 GMT -5 demofea01 said:

People are programmed to sleep at night. Even babies. It's harder for them to go to sleep during the day. It's why sleep training for naps is always harder then bedtime. How old is your LO?

9 weeks

Ohhhh yeah. My LO napped almost exclusively on me or his dad for the first 3 months, with the occasional 30 minutes in the rock n play. He really didn't start napping inn some sort of baby container reliably until 4 months. It's hard. We bought an extremely comfortable recliner and made sure the remote was in reach for every nap.

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:20:01 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:17:07 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

He often screams in the carrier too. He'll tolerate any carrier for a few minutes then starts screaming.

I feel like everything that traditionally calms babies doesn't work on him. Except car rides and nursing.

Which carriers have you tried? Some babies are sensitive about carriers.

K'tan, boba wrap, linen ring sling, two different mei tais (infantino and lenny lamb), lillebaby.

He has never napped in the boba wrap, and has napped in each of the others once ever in his life. He tolerates the ring sling the most.

Edit: honestly, this one baffles me the most. It has everything he wants: my warmth, my smell, my heartbeat, and he's moving/carried. Whyyyyyyy don't you fall asleep in these?

[awkwardpenguin]

Getting into a semi-consistent nap routine has helped us some. We wait for sleepy signs, then swaddle and bounce her in the bouncer with loud white noise. She at least will fall asleep pretty consistently this way. Staying asleep is hit or miss.

Everything else is totally random. Once she took a great nap in the Beco, but yesterday she would have none of sleeping in the carrier. Sometimes she'll nap in the stroller, but it's usually short.

[starburst]

My sympathies. DS really only naps if I hold him. And he prefers if I'm standing. As soon as I sit down he'll start squirming around. How am I supposed sleep when baby sleeps if I'm standing?? Plus he's getting heavy! Sometimes he'll nap in the carrier, but not always.

[pooh8402]

Sept 20, 2015 12:36:41 GMT -5 starburst said:

My sympathies. DS really only naps if I hold him. And he prefers if I'm standing. As soon as I sit down he'll start squirming around. How am I supposed sleep when baby sleeps if I'm standing?? Plus he's getting heavy! Sometimes he'll nap in the carrier, but not always.

Exactly, especially the standing vs sitting part.

[awkwardpenguin]

Sept 20, 2015 12:45:15 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Sept 20, 2015 12:36:41 GMT -5 starburst said:

My sympathies. DS really only naps if I hold him. And he prefers if I'm standing. As soon as I sit down he'll start squirming around. How am I supposed sleep when baby sleeps if I'm standing?? Plus he's getting heavy! Sometimes he'll nap in the carrier, but not always.

Exactly, especially the standing vs sitting part.

Oh yeah, even when I think DD is totally asleep, she can tell if I sit down.

[meltoine]

Sept 20, 2015 12:08:38 GMT -5 ellipsis said:

They need to make a baby equivalent of this:

[brady2012]

Neither of my kids slept in any carriers and I used a carrier a lot out of necessity with the second kid. But he rarely slept and he is my cuddler!

My first was colicky and my second was essentially a non napper basically til he was a toddler on one nap. But I had good luck for both with the old school bounce seat that you bounce with your foot. I turned on the vibration but that wasnt essential. It was the bounce motion that did it for them. We usually had to bounce them into the second sleep cycle so we'd trade off.

We loved that thing more than all our expensive gadgets.

[dulcemariamar]

My DD wouldn't sleep in her cribs for naps until she was almost 7 months. I watched a lot of TV.

I guess if babies could fall asleep without our help then people would have a lot more since it would make parenting so much easier.

[Deleted]

Sept 20, 2015 12:19:43 GMT -5 dcn said:

I think just to drive us to the edge of insanity :/.

I got to a point where I just accepted it and wore him a lot of the time and watched a ton of Netflix while he snoozed and nursed. I think I held him for one nap a day even when he was like six months old.

Hang in there, it does get better though I know it is hard to imagine at this point in time!

I held DS for one nap a day until he was 18 months old. So his afternoon nap, every day. I surfed the net on my phone or watched TV with wireless headphones. It was my "me" time. I really liked it.

[kaycee]

I feel your pain. My DD only napped or fell asleep while nursing. She hasn't napped since I quit nursing. I'm not a napped though either. Some people just sleep less than others and it stinks! I'm hoping DS will be a good sleeper as my reward for my DD's terrible sleep.

[Jalapeñomel]

Have you tried putting your kid on a blanket on the floor?