Post by karinothing on Sept 20, 2015 15:07:34 GMT -5
DS1 was like that, but kid 2. I just put him down awake with a full belly and he falls asleep. It actually makes me feel odd like there is something wrong with me that he does not want the comfort
Have you tried putting your kid on a blanket on the floor?
This is probably the only thing we haven't tried.
Of course, in the middle of this thread, i put DS down as such: nursed him to sleep, swaddled, and in the automatic RNP, in our room which is not the darkest but it's where he sleeps at night. TWO sound machines going. He slept 2 hours! I ate lunch, folded laundry, ate ice cream, and even had a short nap myself. I think the entire house feels refreshed. My baby woke up smiling. :-)
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Sept 20, 2015 15:41:41 GMT -5
Yeah, just do whatever you have to do.
DD1 never once napped except on top of me until 3 or 4 months. After that, she was a great napper.
Also, the nursing to sleep is a biological thing -- nursing makes them feel comforted and reminds them of the womb. I think there are also hormones released that make them sleepy. For me, it was figuring out how to make that transition from sleeping with my boob in her mouth to sleeping alone in the crib.
Do you have a bouncy seat that has a wire frame, so it moves when he kicks or squirms? Not the more expensive ones that just vibrate -- you need a cheap one that moves when the baby does (it will probably also vibrate). A bouncy seat like that was absolute magic for my colicky DD1 (who detested the swing).
DD1 never once napped except on top of me until 3 or 4 months. After that, she was a great napper.
Also, the nursing to sleep is a biological thing -- nursing makes them feel comforted and reminds them of the womb. I think there are also hormones released that make them sleepy. For me, it was figuring out how to make that transition from sleeping with my boob in her mouth to sleeping alone in the crib.
Do you have a bouncy seat that has a wire frame, so it moves when he kicks or squirms? Not the more expensive ones that just vibrate -- you need a cheap one that moves when the baby does (it will probably also vibrate). A bouncy seat like that was absolute magic for my colicky DD1 (who detested the swing).
We do not, but may get one. People keep recommending these to us but i couldn't see the difference between that and other baby containers.
Post by katlizabeth on Sept 20, 2015 15:46:56 GMT -5
My ds had some naps with my boob in his mouth. I was desperate, so we sat in the chair, no nursing really, boob in mouth. Skin to skin, comforting. This was up to like 5 or 6 months, too.
DD1 never once napped except on top of me until 3 or 4 months. After that, she was a great napper.
Also, the nursing to sleep is a biological thing -- nursing makes them feel comforted and reminds them of the womb. I think there are also hormones released that make them sleepy. For me, it was figuring out how to make that transition from sleeping with my boob in her mouth to sleeping alone in the crib.
Do you have a bouncy seat that has a wire frame, so it moves when he kicks or squirms? Not the more expensive ones that just vibrate -- you need a cheap one that moves when the baby does (it will probably also vibrate). A bouncy seat like that was absolute magic for my colicky DD1 (who detested the swing).
We do not, but may get one. People keep recommending these to us but i couldn't see the difference between that and other baby containers.
We didn't understand either until someone sent us one as a gift and we tried it. For DD1, it was the fact that it moved in response to her movement. So when she would startle (she had that newborn startle reflex forEVER), instead of it just jostling her and scaring her, it would make the seat rock and that motion would comfort her.
Post by turtlegirl on Sept 20, 2015 16:18:01 GMT -5
I wish I knew!
I have one friend in my moms group with 2 kids who as newborns just would close their eyes and falls asleep when tired, rarely a cry or fuss from them. Sooooo jealous! She said her husband still can just fall asleep anywhere anytime, so maybe it's some genetic thing?
All my kids have needed lots of help to fall asleep as newborns and take cat naps. So annoying. I'm already counting down until we can sleep/nap train and get on a schedule.
I have one friend in my moms group with 2 kids who as newborns just would close their eyes and falls asleep when tired, rarely a cry or fuss from them. Sooooo jealous! She said her husband still can just fall asleep anywhere anytime, so maybe it's some genetic thing?
I was wondering the same. I am a horrible daytime sleeper as well. I was a wreck when i used to work night shift, more so than now.
Drowsy but awake with a sleep ritual. Dark room, swaddle, pacifier, little cuddle / rock to calm them, put on their music/aquarium/whatever and step back. If they fuss, put their pacifier back in, pat their belly, maybe rock a little more and repeat until they fall asleep. The more they associate sleep with the ritual the easier sleep comes to them.
I can't say it will work for everyone, but it has worked for both my kids.
I have one friend in my moms group with 2 kids who as newborns just would close their eyes and falls asleep when tired, rarely a cry or fuss from them. Sooooo jealous! She said her husband still can just fall asleep anywhere anytime, so maybe it's some genetic thing?
I was wondering the same. I am a horrible daytime sleeper as well. I was a wreck when i used to work night shift, more so than now.
It's all luck. You could be the greatest sleeper in the world with a kid that won't sleep or vice versa.
Post by imimahoney on Sept 20, 2015 16:57:46 GMT -5
Most can't but some can.
My son could not. We would have to rock him to the deepest sleep possible until he was out cold. That only stopped when we sleep trained at 5.5 months.
My daughter could from early on. Nurse in a dark room, swaddle rock n play and with a paci she would put her self to sleep at night. Naps were a lot harder with lots of rocking.
Now at 6 months she outs herself to sleep for both naps and bedtime with no sleep training besides a few nights of her fussing it out.
I think just to drive us to the edge of insanity :/.
I got to a point where I just accepted it and wore him a lot of the time and watched a ton of Netflix while he snoozed and nursed. I think I held him for one nap a day even when he was like six months old.
Hang in there, it does get better though I know it is hard to imagine at this point in time!
I held DS for one nap a day until he was 18 months old. So his afternoon nap, every day. I surfed the net on my phone or watched TV with wireless headphones. It was my "me" time. I really liked it.
This makes me feel better about the fact that my 10 month old still naps on me. Did he just decide he would sleep on his own one day?
Have you tried putting your kid on a blanket on the floor?
This is probably the only thing we haven't tried.
Of course, in the middle of this thread, i put DS down as such: nursed him to sleep, swaddled, and in the automatic RNP, in our room which is not the darkest but it's where he sleeps at night. TWO sound machines going. He slept 2 hours! I ate lunch, folded laundry, ate ice cream, and even had a short nap myself. I think the entire house feels refreshed. My baby woke up smiling. :-)
Yay! I remember it was so hard, I remember getting really frustrated right around the same time (9weeks). I kind of started to accept that it was just easier to stay home and let her sleep on me on the couch. I'd make sure I had water and the remote, get comfy and nurse her to sleep. Once I sort of accepted it, it was better. I gave up on cleaning or starting dinner, etc. and I had to tell my H not to ask me what I did all day when he got home or I'd lose it. It is hard.
Have you read any sleep books yet? I got Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and I Really like it. Around 12 weeks I started some early sleep training (flameful, I know!). But we were lucky and it worked for us. Shortly after, I was able to start having DD nap in the crib and able to actually do stuff!! She still has no predictable schedule, but she naps in her crib anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hrs.
Another flameful: I kind of miss when she used to sleep on me. I know I'm crazy.
It does get better! It probably gets worse again too but every hard part is a phase that will pass eventually. Hugs!
Not sure if this helps at all but I also have a kid who, as an infant, would sleep well enough in his crib (started that around 9 weeks or so) but would not nap well on a consistent basis unless he was sleeping on someone or in the car*. This went on until around 5 months, when it was like a switch flipped and he realized that he could in fact nap in his crib too. Rotten kid. So I guess the point of this is...there's hope.
*he would nap ok in the PnP for the sitter, which drove me up a fucking wall.
Have you read any sleep books yet? I got Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and I Really like it. Around 12 weeks I started some early sleep training (flameful, I know!). But we were lucky and it worked for us. Shortly after, I was able to start having DD nap in the crib and able to actually do stuff!! She still has no predictable schedule, but she naps in her crib anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hrs.
Please tell me you didn't do Weissbluth CIO at 12 weeks. Weissbluth himself says babies shouldn't be allowed to CIO until 6 months.
Have you read any sleep books yet? I got Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and I Really like it. Around 12 weeks I started some early sleep training (flameful, I know!). But we were lucky and it worked for us. Shortly after, I was able to start having DD nap in the crib and able to actually do stuff!! She still has no predictable schedule, but she naps in her crib anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hrs.Â
Please tell me you didn't do Weissbluth CIO at 12 weeks. Weissbluth himself says babies shouldn't be allowed to CIO until 6 months.
Haha, I knew I'd get one of these replies! Thanks for the judgemental post, but rest assured I'm not torturing our baby. I followed the advice in the book (have you read it?) and my baby sleeps happily in her crib. But I know I'm lucky, she's a very good sleeper.
pooh8402: if you want to know what worked for me, PM me.
Have you read any sleep books yet? I got Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and I Really like it. Around 12 weeks I started some early sleep training (flameful, I know!). But we were lucky and it worked for us. Shortly after, I was able to start having DD nap in the crib and able to actually do stuff!! She still has no predictable schedule, but she naps in her crib anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hrs.Â
Please tell me you didn't do Weissbluth CIO at 12 weeks. Weissbluth himself says babies shouldn't be allowed to CIO until 6 months.
I thought he said 4 months? Or is that Ferber that says you can start light sleep training at 4 months?
We started sleep training at 4 months with our kids and they've been great sleepers ever since.
Please tell me you didn't do Weissbluth CIO at 12 weeks. Weissbluth himself says babies shouldn't be allowed to CIO until 6 months.
Haha, I knew I'd get one of these replies! Thanks for the judgemental post, but rest assured I'm not torturing our baby. I followed the advice in the book (have you read it?) and my baby sleeps happily in her crib. But I know I'm lucky, she's a very good sleeper.
pooh8402: if you want to know what worked for me, PM me.
Yes, I've read the book. There's lots of advice in the book, but the sleep training the book is known for is full extinction cry it out. And no sleep experts recommend sleep training at 12 weeks. I think it's reasonable to expect someone will point this out when you bring it up.
Remember the thread where we all discussed the NYT article that said something along the lines of do you have the guts to let you 8 week old CIO? so obviously there are varying degrees of when doctors think its okay to CIO.
Pooh- DS was similar in that all the usual things that calm babies didn't work. It got better around 10 weeks and much better as the months passed. For now just keep trying and do what you need to do to survive. Babies, man.
Haha, I knew I'd get one of these replies! Thanks for the judgemental post, but rest assured I'm not torturing our baby. I followed the advice in the book (have you read it?) and my baby sleeps happily in her crib. But I know I'm lucky, she's a very good sleeper.
pooh8402: if you want to know what worked for me, PM me.
Yes, I've read the book. There's lots of advice in the book, but the sleep training the book is known for is full extinction cry it out. And no sleep experts recommend sleep training at 12 weeks. I think it's reasonable to expect someone will point this out when you bring it up.
Yes, the book presents various strategies from full on CIO to cry and console to no cry solutions. That's why I like it, it gives a lot of information and also discusses different baby temperaments and helps you decide what you are comfortable doing and what might work for different babies. That's why I really like the book. There is a whole chapter on what to try for 0-3 months. We followed the advice and were able to put our baby down awake in the crib and get her to sleep. But it all depends on how your baby responds. I think the biggest thing that helped me was having more information and validation that I could either let her cry a little or I could not and both strategies were ok. I got to the point where I couldn't take spending 30 mins shh-ing, rocking, bouncing, etc, etc just to have DD sleep for 20 mins. It was exhausting and frustrating. I was lucky, we did cry and console and after 5 mins of crying she would fall asleep. Per the book, you can try at 3 months old but depending on your baby it might not work and you can try again when they are older. We were lucky and it did and it was life changing. I was so glad my sister recommended the book, hence I wanted to pass it on to pooh8402. Judgmental posts aren't really that helpful when a mom is struggling. Everyone's babies are different, just because it isn't what you did doesn't mean it is wrong.
Yes, I've read the book. There's lots of advice in the book, but the sleep training the book is known for is full extinction cry it out. And no sleep experts recommend sleep training at 12 weeks. I think it's reasonable to expect someone will point this out when you bring it up.
Yes, the book presents various strategies from full on CIO to cry and console to no cry solutions. That's why I like it, it gives a lot of information and also discusses different baby temperaments and helps you decide what you are comfortable doing and what might work for different babies. That's why I really like the book. There is a whole chapter on what to try for 0-3 months. We followed the advice and were able to put our baby down awake in the crib and get her to sleep. But it all depends on how your baby responds. I think the biggest thing that helped me was having more information and validation that I could either let her cry a little or I could not and both strategies were ok. I got to the point where I couldn't take spending 30 mins shh-ing, rocking, bouncing, etc, etc just to have DD sleep for 20 mins. It was exhausting and frustrating. I was lucky, we did cry and console and after 5 mins of crying she would fall asleep. Per the book, you can try at 3 months old but depending on your baby it might not work and you can try again when they are older. We were lucky and it did and it was life changing. I was so glad my sister recommended the book, hence I wanted to pass it on to pooh8402. Judgmental posts aren't really that helpful when a mom is struggling. Everyone's babies are different, just because it isn't what you did doesn't mean it is wrong.
You're the one who said it was flammable, which definitely gave the impression that you did full extinction CIO with your 12 week old. Which is, in fact, flammable.
I like the Weissbluth book and the fact that it has so many options. I'm glad you found one that works for you. I just wouldn't want someone who hasn't read it in full to come away with the wrong impression of what it advocates.
I held DS for one nap a day until he was 18 months old. So his afternoon nap, every day. I surfed the net on my phone or watched TV with wireless headphones. It was my "me" time. I really liked it.
This makes me feel better about the fact that my 10 month old still naps on me. Did he just decide he would sleep on his own one day?
Haha, no. We did Ferber at 18 months to get him to fall asleep on his own. It went really well though. Typical Ferber, 55 minutes crying day 1, 20 mins crying day 2 (and STTN), 7 minutes crying day 3. Went to sleep on his own ever since.