s/o names and titles

[sushi]

What about people you are essentially related to? Nieces, nephews, godchildren, very close friends' children.

My sister asked me what I wanted to be called when her first kid was born. I said auntie susie (susie is my actual family n/n, one I don't use outside of family, and I like the rhyme) is ok. Friends' kids called me that on their own without my input, even without them knowing it's a common n/n for Susan. However, whatever she or the kid ended up with is ok, too.

Right now, I'm aunt tutu b/c that's what the kid can say. If that sticks, fine. So be it. I personally think any family name is fine. Apparently Susie is difficult for kids. My youngest cousin used to call me Lidi for a couple years. Then both cousins actually called me sushi b/c they thought it was a funny play on my name. Friends of ours called their aunt SuSu. 

My gramma went by Gigi with friends b/c her first niece couldn't say Ginny. That was probably 70 years ago, and she still goes by Gigi with friends. I think t's great to have a story.

So, where does that balance lie between wanting what you want to be called, what the parents want you to be called, and whatever the kid decides without anyone's input?

[pamela]

Aunts/Uncles (including greats) are referred to as such, but cousins are just by name in my family. DH is almost exclusively first names, but they have much blurrier generation lines (like youngest aunt younger than oldest niece). I know there is one aunt who would rather use her full name, but her shortened nickname got used early on and it's just stuck.

We let grandparents pick their version of grandma (GiGi, Nonnie, Ama, etc). I try to reinforce properly pronouncing whatever was chosen with DS as he grows. Of course, they start out with a babbly version.

[wawa]

Actual aunts and uncles are called aunt or uncle and name. We're still figuring out what ShortI should call mh's cousins. Mr/ms first name I think but it doesn't feel quite right.

[irishbride2]

Aunt AM. (initials)

My name with a title is really long lol.



I think generally (IME) the oldest grand kid determines the grandparents names. My mom was just going to be grandma, but DD started to call her nana so she went with it.

We are really close to my cousins (and H's cousins). Our kids call them "cousin____" right now. As they age I don't know what it will be. 

[StrawberryBlondie]

We all just go by first name.

ETA: I absolutely hate what my nephews call DH's mom. Like with a passion of a thousand suns hate. If my kid has to call her that I might kill myself.

ETA2: I normally support that grandparents choose their names. This one is what grandkid #2 started calling her and then 5 years later its what all the grandkids call her. And it's ridiculous.

DH's dad said he wanted to be called something like "papalog." We both were like newp, we can't say that with a straight face.

[katfco]

We let our parents pick their own names. My mom wanted to be Grammy, but my oldest nephew, for 2 years kept calling her Ray. It was kind of cute, but we stuck with Grammy, so that's what stayed. My grandmother is Mamma to her grandkids, so that's what she is to her great-grandkids also.

My sister started doing Auntie (my name) with her kids, so she's Auntie (her name) with my kids, although on DH's side, it's Aunt. Adult cousins, we just do Cousin so-and-so. Dh's side is pretty boring; they always did Grandma/Grandpa;Great-Grandma/Great-Grandpa.

[winecat]

I call my aunts and uncles by their first names. My brother is only 4 years younger than our youngest uncle so I'm pretty sure that's why we do first names. One uncle's wife tried to get us to do aunt/uncle before the first name and we were all "newp" as little kids.

eta: I hadn't thought about what I would want to be called bc I didn't think it would happen but my little half sister is pg so I guess it's something to think about.  Being called Aunt Winecat seems so weird though.  

[LoveTrains]

I prefer to be auntie to my sisters kids.

[pescalita]

Pretty much everyone in my family is first names, except grandma and great-grandma. A calls my aunts & uncles by their first names because that's what I and my mom and her mom call them.

My dad's family all uses titles, down to cousin. It's always felt totally weird to me to be called "cousin Pesca".

Carl's family is somewhere in between. We usually use aunt/uncle, but not 100%. No cousin.

[penguingrrl]

Our siblings and their SOs go by aunt/uncle first name, as do my cousins since we see them pretty frequently. Our close friends mostly go by first name with no title because that's what they prefer. A few really close friends go by aunt/uncle.

My sister and I go by just "Auntie" to each other's kids with no first name after it.

[meshaliuknits]

Aunts & uncles are auntie name or uncle name. My grand parents were grandma & grandpa. H's are grandma, grandpa Grammy, papa, popi, Nana which is confusing as fuck for me because no two families refer to the same people with the same title.

For me, my play nieces & nephews call me by first name. H's nephew calls me aunt Mesha. I've had other littles that call me auntie with other variations on my name.

[frlcb]

My nephews call me Tia, by my choice, because my first name is often mispronounced. My sil is Agga, which is nothing close to her name if it was aunt (name) but it's what my son said at first to her and it stuck.

For grandparents I think it would be super weird to have different grand kids call them different names.

[wawa]

Oh related...my mom's mom has apparently always disliked being called granny. She Kept This to herself until a few years ago, but once her great grand kids were vocal she told them to call her by her first name. It's Odd.

[penguingrrl]

Sept 20, 2015 16:20:23 GMT -5 wawa said:

Oh related...my mom's mom has apparently always disliked being called granny. She Kept This to herself until a few years ago, but once her great grand kids were vocal she told them to call her by her first name. It's Odd.

She sounds like my mom, who at one point tried to convince me to have the grandkids call her by her first name. We ended up settling on Nan because she felt it didn't sound grandmotherly.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

My nieces and nephews have always called me Emmy.

I like the scheme my mom's sisters have going. My Aunt B is called "BB" by her grands. My Aunt C is called "CC." My mom has taken a strong stance against being "DD", unfortunately. My grandmother was always strictly "Grandmother" to us kids. No grandma, Grammy, nana. None of that. But she's gotten a little less stiff over the years, so the littles call her "GG".

[ESF]

Sept 20, 2015 14:41:26 GMT -5 wawa said:

Actual aunts and uncles are called aunt or uncle and name. We're still figuring out what ShortI should call mh's cousins. Mr/ms first name I think but it doesn't feel quite right.

I called my parents cousins Aunt and Uncle first name, and that's how many of my cousins' kids refer to me and my H.

My cousins' kids call me Aunt ____.

[NitaX]

In my family everyone is called by their relation and first name. So to my younger cousins (as I'm much older than they are) I'm Cousin NitaX.

My grandparents were called by different names because at one point we had five generations living. My maternal great-great grandmother was Momma Last name, great grandma was Grandma First Name or just grandma because my grandmother lived in Oregon, so we didn't see her often, but she was also Grandma First name. Now that she's the only living grandmother, she's just grandma.

[bernsteincat]

I call my aunts and uncles by their first names. I only use Aunt and Uncle when talking about them to other people, and even then, I usually say it as "My aunt, Libby, ..." They never cared either way, so once I grew out of young childhood, I just dropped the titles.

[nsuhomer]

We let people pick what they wanted to be called. My mom wanted 'Buela; kids changed it to 'Buega, my dad is Sir (he loves 'Sir, may I have a cookie' type requests, lol), MIL is Nana, FIL is Papa, SM is MeMe, SMIL is Mimi, SFIL is Thomas. We do the Auntie/Uncle or Tia/Tio with cousins, close friends, etc.

[MrsAxilla]

Everyone is Aunt/Uncle first name. Except for two uncles who have nicknames given by the first niece/nephew to screw up their names in a cute way.

[twotrue]

We didn't even have predetermined names for what the kids would call us (mommy, mama, mom, etc) so when it came to everyone else we definitely went with whatever stuck.

Aunts = Auntie Fname
Uncle = Uncle Fname
Cousins = Cousin Fname <---we're fine with just first name for cousins but I think DD started adding cousin to clarify who she who talking about.
My Parents = Grandma and Grandpa (aka Monster). My kids know this set of grandparents and have real relationships with them. We skype regularly and they visit several times a year.
DWs Parents = Mama's Mom or Grandma Fname and Grandpop or Mama's Dad. My kids do not have real relationships with this set of grandparents as they don't skype and haven't visited since well before the boys were born.

[CrazyLucky]

My sister's kids just call me first name. I am only 11 and 13 years older than them, so I'm sure that's the reason. They all have kids too, and they have their kids call me Aunt first name. My brother's kid is only 2 and calls me aunt first name. My kids are taught to use aunt or uncle first name. They have two Grandmas, a Grandpa, and a Granddaddy.
For the other thread, I grew up with Mr./ Mrs. LastName, and it is a hard habit to break. We live in NC now, and it is Mr. or Ms. First name, except for school teachers. This is especially true at work, which is probably where I first heard it. It can be a little awkward when we go visit NJ or NY, because I don't want my kids calling adult by first name only, but Mr or Ms first name sounds strange there. I agree with everyone who said it's about respect. Whatever you call the person, do it with respect, and it'll work out.