Having a rough time - baby sleep related

[kate1482]

I would bring her into the pedi. we found at at her 4 month appointment poor dd had silent reflux. After she was on medicine she finally started sleeping and didn't spend her days crying and generally being a cranky mess. I'm so annoyed with myself that I didn't bring her in earlier. I just thought I just had a fussy baby. Also I gave up trying to put dd down for naps. It was so important that she got sleep I just camped out in the nursery rocker in the dark with the sound machine on holding dd while she napped on me. I played on my phone and sometimes even napped myself. We also stopped going anywhere with her for about a month while we established a sleep schedule. (Dd now naps by herself no problem after holding her for every nap until 4 months. I was so freaked out about bad habits but it ended up not being a problem)

Ps- I'm sure you have tried this already but what about the swing? Dd started liking the swing around 3.5 months and slept the first part of the night in it. I almost packed it away since she hated it at first.

[awkwardpenguin]

Sept 23, 2015 15:07:30 GMT -5 oswin said:

Have you felt her gums to see if it's teeth starting to come in? That's what it sounds like to me, since her eating is also getting messed up. Have you tried giving tylenol?

No teeth that I can detect.

[gibbinator]

This sounds like ds1 at that age. It was so terrible, no naps without motion. I never really found a solution =though bed sharing helped me survive) , just want to offer hair pats. It will get better, this is a phase.

[chickadee77]

You've gotten some good responses here.

I just want to add that babies just don't go by the book (whichever book you choose, lol). I get it - I'm a very structured person and just want to know the "right" way to whatever, but I'm learning this just doesn't always happen with kids.

That said, around 3-4 months is where L starrrrted to kind of maybe start a routine. So don't worry - even when your LO has a routine, it'll periodically get blown out of the water for one reason or another. Or no reason at all, lol.

I diligently put her down any time she made her sleepy signs, even if she'd only been awake for 45 minutes. I let her fuss between sleep cycles, usually giving about 5-10 minutes to see if she'd settle herself. Not 5-10 minutes of hard-core crying, I couldn't do that, but rolling around and oohing? Sure.

If your LO is coming off a few days of crap sleep, it might take a couple days to catch up.

It'll be okay. You're doing great! Hugs to you -

[noodleoo]

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. That sounds exhausting. And I know when your sleep is being interrupted so much, everything is so much harder!

You said you aren't willing to do cry it out, but do you let baby cry at all? We started putting our DD down awake right around 13-14 weeks. Prior to that I spent forever rocking, shh-ing, swaying, etc etc. to get her to sleep only to have her wake up when I tried to put her down. I finally tried putting her down awake and let her cry a little. I'd set a timer for 10 mins and wait. I could usually tell after 5 mins if she was starting to settle down or if she was getting worse. If she was settling (meaning the cries weren't too loud, there were longer pauses between cries, volume was going down), I'd wait. If they were getting louder or more upset I'd go in and try again later. I did this for a few days and found that probably 80% of the time she'd settle and go to sleep. It also seemed like once I started doing this, she'd sleep longer, especially for her daytime naps which were super short before. 

I don't know if you are willing to try this, but I thought I'd post just to give you my experience in case it helps. Every baby is different, it is so hard. It sucks because what works for one mom doesn't for another, and it just mentally exhausting to try to figure out what works. I hope you all get some sleep soon! Hugs!

Also, my baby can not be awake for very long. I read the 2/3/4 schedule and that totally does not work for us. I also go by sleep signs and sometimes she's ready to go back down after 40 mins of being awake, especially in the morning. It sucks, she actually has no predictable schedule. I also don't really go out of the house much. It is just easier to stay home so I can put her down as soon as she looks tired. If we do go out, it tends to be late afternoon, like 4 pm. Kind of annoying, but once I accepted that it was just easier tomstay home, I actually was sort of relieved. I'm sure she will grow out of this phase soon enough. 

[Blue Moon]

My daughter was the same exact way. I feel your pain because I was home with her on maternity leave and I was losing my mind. Right around the 14 week mark she had several days of just horrific sleep- catnaps of 20 mins here and there around the clock no matter what I tried. I read multiple sleep books and didn't leave the house because I was so desperate to help her sleep. I finally took her to the pedi and she had a double ear infection. I felt so awful. We powered through that and then shortly before she turned 5 months, we did some light sleep training (not CIO) using the Sleep Sense method. That got things to a manageable level of 2-3 wakeups to feed and generally quickly back to sleep. She was a catnapper until 7 months when she dropped to 2 naps. Nothing I did improved her naps. They just lengthened on their own when she was ready. Lots of hugs! I remember how awful it was but it most definitely is a phase.

[awkwardpenguin]

Sept 23, 2015 18:03:29 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. That sounds exhausting. And I know when your sleep is being interrupted so much, everything is so much harder!

You said you aren't willing to do cry it out, but do you let baby cry at all? We started putting our DD down awake right around 13-14 weeks. Prior to that I spent forever rocking, shh-ing, swaying, etc etc. to get her to sleep only to have her wake up when I tried to put her down. I finally tried putting her down awake and let her cry a little. I'd set a timer for 10 mins and wait. I could usually tell after 5 mins if she was starting to settle down or if she was getting worse. If she was settling (meaning the cries weren't too loud, there were longer pauses between cries, volume was going down), I'd wait. If they were getting louder or more upset I'd go in and try again later. I did this for a few days and found that probably 80% of the time she'd settle and go to sleep. It also seemed like once I started doing this, she'd sleep longer, especially for her daytime naps which were super short before. 

I don't know if you are willing to try this, but I thought I'd post just to give you my experience in case it helps. Every baby is different, it is so hard. It sucks because what works for one mom doesn't for another, and it just mentally exhausting to try to figure out what works. I hope you all get some sleep soon! Hugs!

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was kind of a jerk about this very issue the other day and I'm sorry. It is so hard.

I think we're going to try letting her fuss longer at night wake ups to see if she settles. We've been in the habit of getting up pretty quickly when she cries because when she was younger she'd get so worked up so quickly and that made it even harder to get her back down. But now I think she's capable of going back to sleep some of the time, we just need to give her the chance.

[noodleoo]

Sept 23, 2015 18:18:49 GMT -5 awkwardpenguin said:

Sept 23, 2015 18:03:29 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. That sounds exhausting. And I know when your sleep is being interrupted so much, everything is so much harder!

You said you aren't willing to do cry it out, but do you let baby cry at all? We started putting our DD down awake right around 13-14 weeks. Prior to that I spent forever rocking, shh-ing, swaying, etc etc. to get her to sleep only to have her wake up when I tried to put her down. I finally tried putting her down awake and let her cry a little. I'd set a timer for 10 mins and wait. I could usually tell after 5 mins if she was starting to settle down or if she was getting worse. If she was settling (meaning the cries weren't too loud, there were longer pauses between cries, volume was going down), I'd wait. If they were getting louder or more upset I'd go in and try again later. I did this for a few days and found that probably 80% of the time she'd settle and go to sleep. It also seemed like once I started doing this, she'd sleep longer, especially for her daytime naps which were super short before. 

I don't know if you are willing to try this, but I thought I'd post just to give you my experience in case it helps. Every baby is different, it is so hard. It sucks because what works for one mom doesn't for another, and it just mentally exhausting to try to figure out what works. I hope you all get some sleep soon! Hugs!

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was kind of a jerk about this very issue the other day and I'm sorry. It is so hard.

I think we're going to try letting her fuss longer at night wake ups to see if she settles. We've been in the habit of getting up pretty quickly when she cries because when she was younger she'd get so worked up so quickly and that made it even harder to get her back down. But now I think she's capable of going back to sleep some of the time, we just need to give her the chance.

No worries! I know, baby sleep is so tough! I hope you figure out what works for your little one. 

Do you have any friends or family nearby who might be able to come help for a bit? It really helps if you can get someone to watch LO for an hour or 2 so you can get a real nap in. It is so much harder to deal with a fussy baby when you are exhausted yourself. Anything you can do to recharge yourself will help. Good luck!