Baby Tantrums

[luv2rn4fun]

C is 9 months old and has been throwing "tantrums" for awhile. Examples are mainly when doing diaper changes and putting on clothes but also when taking away something he wants (but shouldn't have). For diaper changes and clothes I try to give him a toy or something that will keep him entertained for a couple seconds to avoid the tantrum. Not sure what to do other times...sometimes I try to trade but it doesn't always work.

He had my phone yesterday and I took it away...complete meltdown.  Shakers taken away at the library and same thing. I want to comfort him and tell him it's ok but I also don't really know if I should be giving any attention to this behavior. When is an appropriate age to start discipline and what does that look like for a 9 month old?

[VillainV]

Totally normal at this age.

First, it sucks, but you should probably start keeping things out of his sight that he isn't allowed to have. We had to have a long talk with my parents about them letting him have stuff that they knew they were just going to have to take away a few minutes later (their phone, a random toy in the store, etc).

When we do have to take away stuff, we usually try to give him something he CAN have in return. We keep toys in the diaper bag, car, purse, etc. Sometimes a random small snack helps too (we only do this in public) like a cracker or some puffs. Really more for distraction.

As for diaper changes, C has gone in phases, but when he is like that we give him a small toy or book while we change his diaper and it helps a lot.

ETA: At nearly 18 months we still don't do "discipline." We say "no" and give a short explanation ("it's not nice to hit the kitty" or "that doesn't belong to you"), and then just redirect. Also, we have really tried to emphasize using signs (C has a minor speech delay) and we thank him when he uses them ("thank you for using your signs!"), and that gives him a way to communicate and gives him some control. It has helped the tantrums a little, we think.

[luv2rn4fun]

@mrsbecky- thank you! I guess discipline isn't the right word but definitely looking for ways of dealing with it. It seems like he's way worse with me, probably because he's so attached to me since I'm home with him 24/7, so I want to make sure it doesn't become a problem down the road.

I do talk to him, tell him why he can't play with things or why we need to change the diaper, etc and always try to give him something else to play with (or comfort him and play with him).

VillainV- I definitely need to be better about keeping my phone out of site so it isn't even an issue. I have been giving toys for diaper changes for months now, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. He's just so busy and wants to move and doesn't really like to hear "no" for an answer He's not too bad...just want to make sure I don't create a problem for when he's older. It's also nice to hear that it's normal and how we are responding is normal and all we should be doing right now.

[thebreakfastclub]

That 12-18 month stage kind of blows for these reasons.

The diaper thing doesn't really improve, and now for me, it's replaced by toilet whining.

[anna7602]

Sept 24, 2015 8:28:53 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

That 12-18 month stage kind of blows for these reasons.

The diaper thing doesn't really improve, and now for me, it's replaced by toilet whining.

No, it doesn't. You would think I was simultaneously poking my son in the eyes with hot coals every time I change his diaper, but I get it, from his perspective, I'm holding him immobile when he could otherwise be running around and exploring so many fun things. Such is life. Sometimes your mother (or whoever) has to pin you down and wipe poop off of your ass and you will likely never grow to appreciate this.