Post by blueberry10 on Sept 24, 2015 13:29:02 GMT -5
Everything will be OK - everything everyone else has said is true. I bonded with DS more quickly than I did with DD too - it was so nice to have some idea of what to expect with a newborn. And when DD came to the hospital to meet her new brother and he locked eyes with her as if he'd known her all along, it blew me away. DS' biggest belly laughs are always directed at his sister, who is always happy to try to make him laugh. You aren't ruining DS' life, I promise!
Oh man, this post is making me tear up. I am having so many of the same emotions @envino, and it seems to be totally normal and expected right before #2 is born.
It'll be fine. The first time I saw DS1 after having DS2, I was in a bit of a shock. He seemed so big (even though he was only 22 months). He kind of 'grew up' over night. Not going to lie, the first two years were hard. But now, it's good. Great, even. I just said to DH yesterday that I am so, so happy that he okay'd having 2 kids (he was happy with one) since they are the best of friends. They love each other and are so fiercely protective of one another.
Also, the most wonderful thing ever is that DD has taken to comforting DS when he cries (and he cries a lot - when he bumps his head, when he doesn't get his way, several times a day at least). She walks up and gives him a big hug. And my heart melts.
Post by redpenmama on Sept 24, 2015 14:40:53 GMT -5
It will be OK. I sobbed myself to sleep for like the last two weeks of my pregnancy because I felt like I was "ruining" DD's life and our relationship by bringing another child into our lives.
While the dynamic of our family has certainly changed with the addition of another kid, it's been great overall. DD handled it well (not perfectly, but better than I expected), and she and her brother are really becoming buddies. I mean, I break up 87 fights a day over toys, but in between those battles, they play together, she "reads" to him, and he pretty much mimics whatever she does. I'm loving seeing their relationship grow!
I was a pretty chill pregnant gal, but the one big breakdown I had during my second pregnancy was the fear that I wouldn't be able to continue give DD1 all that I had those first 4 years. My husband reassured me that it would be fine. And it has been.
They adore each other to the moon and back, and there's PLENTY of me to go around. And like a PP mentioned, it's amazing to watch how two different kids from the same family can develop such distinct personalities.
Also, the most wonderful thing ever is that DD has taken to comforting DS when he cries (and he cries a lot - when he bumps his head, when he doesn't get his way, several times a day at least). She walks up and gives him a big hug. And my heart melts.
This is one of those things I am most fascinated with, when my 4 yo DD is crying over whatever (its usually not getting her way) DS immediately starts saying "Sissy ok? Sissy ok" and will search for her if she is another room. He has busted through her door a couple of times just to console her. When he was a baby he would start crying if she was crying.
Post by scribellesam on Sept 24, 2015 15:17:09 GMT -5
I'll second whoever suggested carving out a little time one on one with the older one everyday. You can tell DS1 just craves that time and it can really improve his attitude. Nothing special; we build Duplos during DS2's morning nap or take a quick trip to the grocery store together when DH is home to watch the baby.
I normally lurk here mainly because I don't feel like I have much to add but I figured this would be a good time to finally post.
I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with my second boy and this post nearly had me in tears. I have felt so detached from this pregnancy and after reading your stories and seeing your photos I can honestly say I am excited for baby brother to arrive. In my mind I have always been happy to be pregnant but today was the first time I felt it in my heart. I know that sounds terrible. This pregnancy was very much hoped for. I'm thrilled to be having another boy. I just kinda feel like he's an outsider and will be intruding on our family time come December. It probably doesn't help that I had a really rough time the first 6 months of my son's life.
Anyway, not trying to make this all about me but I wanted to thank you all for sharing your sweet stories and moments. And for helping me realize I do have a heart!