Not sure how I feel about this for my SIL (loss mentioned)

[winecheery]

I may DD...

*poof*

Thanks all

[countthestars]

Well, as a coworker I would wonder WTF my coworker was playing his baby's heartbeat for me in the first place. How does she know he was playing it for people?

[winecheery]

Sept 24, 2015 15:51:24 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Well, as a coworker I would wonder WTF my coworker was playing his baby's heartbeat for me in the first place. How does she know he was playing it for people?

This, I do not know.  I guess she was told?  

[mrssandro]

I have had three losses and I know that it would of stung to know this take place but I would also remember that they have every right to be excited and wanting to share their joy with everyone. At least they had the decency to not do it directly in front of her.

Loss is a horrible thing and I am so sorry your SIL is going through this.

[zeewifeandmama]

I kinda feel like the guy is pretty decent and is uber excited but trying to be respectful/sensitive to your SIL. But I can't say for sure how I'd feel right in the moment

[countthestars]

Sept 24, 2015 15:53:16 GMT -5 winecheery said:

Sept 24, 2015 15:51:24 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Well, as a coworker I would wonder WTF my coworker was playing his baby's heartbeat for me in the first place. How does she know he was playing it for people?

This, I do not know.  I guess she was told?  

Well I think that person is a douchecanoe unless they didn't know she just had a los.?

Either way, I don't blame your SIL for feeling sad or upset by all of this because she's going through a very difficult time but it sounds like the guy is trying his hardest to be respectful and I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

[IndiaInk]

Sept 24, 2015 15:53:16 GMT -5 winecheery said:

Sept 24, 2015 15:51:24 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Well, as a coworker I would wonder WTF my coworker was playing his baby's heartbeat for me in the first place. How does she know he was playing it for people?

This, I do not know.  I guess she was told?  

I think whoever told her is the asshole here.  

Having had two MCs, I understand the pain.  But it sounds like her coworker is being very thoughtful toward her and what more can you expect, really?  It's hard and I'm sorry she's going through this. 

[Muddled]

Sept 24, 2015 15:54:20 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

I think it's weird to play the heartbeat.

But whoever told SIL is the real idiot here.

Agreed.

People do odd things when they are excited, but he waited until she left. He tried to avoid hurting her. Whoever told her about it didn't think it through.

[winecheery]

Sept 24, 2015 15:56:39 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Sept 24, 2015 15:53:16 GMT -5 winecheery said:

This, I do not know.  I guess she was told?  

Well I think that person is a douchecanoe unless they didn't know she just had a los.?

Either way, I don't blame your SIL for feeling sad or upset by all of this because she's going through a very difficult time but it sounds like the guy is trying his hardest to be respectful and I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah.  This seems to be the theme so far.  I guess I'm just really feeling for her, and after all the struggles I have heard on this board, I just…am extra sad that someone's joy is the cause for additional pain.  It's just…sucky.  And I'm far away and can only offer support from afar.  So I guess I am being sensitive for her sake. 

I mean, yeah, like the guy isn't going to be excited for his own healthy baby, you know?? 

[cajunmom]

It's odd that he did that at work but really, he did what he could to not shove it in her face. What more does she want? He seemed to be very sensitive about her loss in the first place. Whoever told her about it is the one that isn't tactful in this situation.

[loira]

I think her colleague was at least trying to be thoughtful, but I'm sorry she's having to go through this. Right after I found out some very awful news about our first baby, my boss sent around a company-wide email of his wife's ultrasound photo. It was not a big company, and he knew there was something wrong with my baby (I had to explain why I was not coming in to work). He was just an insensitive jerk and I ended up finding a new job pretty quickly.

[winecheery]

Sept 24, 2015 16:01:24 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

It's odd that he did that at work but really, he did what he could to not shove it in her face. What more does she want? He seemed to be very sensitive about her loss in the first place. Whoever told her about it is the one that isn't tactful in this situation.

It's me, not her, ha.  She's actually kind of like, "yeah it's salt in a wound.  But I'm trying to ignore it/move on."

I was the one thinking it was kind of crappy somehow.  People are offering an outside perspective, which I was curious about.  Because like I said, I thought I was being kind of overprotective here.   

[robyn]

It's a little odd to play the heartbeat at work, but I am definitely a person who doesn't share private stuff like that with co-workers in general. However, I think her co-worker comes off as a really sweet guy who is both excited about becoming a dad, and thoughtful enough to think of your SIL and be sensitive to her loss. The asshole here is whoever told her about him playing the heartbeat after she was gone.

[winecheery]

It's so funny, I didn't even THINK about whoever it was that told SIL. Clearly I'm not so sharp right now.


ETA:  Thanks for the opinions.  Good to hear thoughts other then my own.

[awick14]

I missed the OP but I am so sorry for your SILs loss.

((Hugs)) to her and your family.