Advice on how to wean a 2.5+YO?

[dulcemariamar]

Does anybody here have any experience on how to wean a 2.5+ year old? Or experience with BF past the age of 3. Since DD was 18 months she would nurse for nap/bedtime. She didn't need to nurse to fall asleep at night but nurses to sleep for naps. She never asked to BF anytime outside bedtime and nap time even when she is upset or sick. And she never seemed particularly attached to BF.

Last week we dropped the bedtime session and she was really mad the first few days but we bought an Elsa doll to play with instead of BF so she seems ok with it now.

So we are down to one session and my feelings are a bit complicated. I kinda of wanna be done with it. But for naps she BF for about 5-7 minutes and then gives me a 2 hour nap. If I dropped it, then it might be a battle for her to sleep in the afternoon.

I know I am not supposed to say it but it is starting to feel strange to BF an almost 3YO. Maybe because it is not the norm around here and people like giving their opinions that you should wean around 2 and definitely before 3.

I am sorry that the post is a bit of a mess. I kinda of want to give up the last session but I don't want to mess up her naps. I would like her to wean herself but it doesn't seem that it is going to happen.

[Deleted]

I think zeewifeandmama weaned her son around 3. She might have some tips.

Good luck! Weaning is emotional at any age. If you are feeling done then it's ok to stop. It may be rough for a while but you will both get through it. (Hugs)

[ssmjlm]

Paging @tokenhoser.

Do you think she would understand if you talked to her about weaning? Talking about being a big girl and giving mommy snuggles instead?

I'm not above bribery at this age either though.

[dulcemariamar]

Sept 28, 2015 7:15:57 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Paging @tokenhoser.

Do you think she would understand if you talked to her about weaning? Talking about being a big girl and giving mommy snuggles instead?

I'm not above bribery at this age either though.

Bedtime weaning wasn't so bad. It was just 3 days of distraction and bribery.

I guess it is just strange. I am over BF but love that it allows my DD to nap really well at almost 3. It seems silly to make my life difficult just because of my feelings. It really is less than 10 minutes a day. I guess I am starting to feel weird BF her at her age.

[whitemerlot]

My dd is 3 years and 4 months and usually nurses twice a day. I'm slowly weaning her. I still do the nursing for nap and will just read to her and lay with her a bit when we wean. I used stories on CD with my first one when we stopped nursing for nap at 2 1/2.

We've talked about the fact that we aren't going to be nursing much longer and she says she will nurse until she is 4. LOL! No.

[Deleted]

I weaned DS just before 3. I was tandem nursing and just reached a point where I couldn't nurse two any more. I talked about how "big boys can ride scooters, but they don't nurse any more" for a week or two. Then we gave him the scooter. He was sad, but after refusing to nurse for one day, he pretty much got over it. And that was with me nursing DD in front of him.

His sleep was always terrible, so that didn't change, lol. He naps for daycare still, but hasn't for us in a long time.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I weaned DD1 a couple of months before she turned 3. I really, really wanted her to self-wean, but it wasn't happening. I was ready to TTC #2, and my doctor strongly encouraged me to wean DD1 first.

I actually thought it was easier at that age because they are verbal enough that you can have a conversation with them, and they can understand what you're saying.

I just sat DD1 down and explained that she was a big girl now and nursing was only for babies. She used a nipple shield to nurse, so we made a big show out of gathering up all the nipple shields and throwing them away (I later pulled them out of the wastebasket in case I needed them for #2). We also told her that now that she was a big girl, she got to do all this other special stuff at bedtime. (Like your DD, she only nursed before bed, and I was really worried she wouldn't sleep well without nursing).

We started giving her "big girl treats" before bed. We talked them up big time and told her they were because she wasn't nursing any more. They were just her vitamins, but she thought they were a treat. She gets three vitamins -- a multi-vitamin, a gummy DHA, and a chewable dinosaur shaped probiotic. She still gets those now at age 6 and thinks they're pretty awesome. We also started calling the time after books and before bed "cuddle time" and making a big deal out of how we got to snuggle and talk before bed.

Good luck! It's absolutely NOT wrong to want to be done nursing! If she still needs that afternoon nap, I'm sure she'll still sleep for you once she's transitioned away from nursing

ETA: Oh, and I thought she would ask to nurse for a long time, but she didn't. The next day she asked to nurse, I reminded her that she was a big girl now so she didn't nurse, and that was the end of it.

[water*drop]

DD self-weaned at a little over 2.5, but I am positive that it only happened then because we TOTALLY shook up her schedule. We traveled for two straight weeks. She was exhausted and just passed out at night without even thinking about it, she woke up excited for the day's adventure and was just ready to go-go-go, and there weren't many opportunities during the day. She did nap, but she'd either just be totally out from being tired or DH would lay with her until she fell asleep. I usually used that time to work, so I wasn't physically with her. She asked maybe 4-5 times total during that trip. Then we got home and immediately transitioned her to a big girl bed, so her whole morning/nap/bedtime routine shifted. She asked maybe twice after we got home, and that was it. She did ask once a couple of times a few weeks later, and I just said that she was a big girl now, so we were done nursing and could just cuddle instead.

[mrshandy]

What about Daddy putting her down for naps? Maybe not for the weekdays, but on the weekends.

Have you ever tried not nursing her just to see what would happen?

DS was around 27 months when I weaned him. I just told him the milk was all gone. It was dicey for a few days. I was scared to be alone with him, I didn't want to say no. But he got the message and stopped asking.

I just weaned DD last week at 25 months and she didn't seem to care at all. LOL. I guess I was the one keeping us going.

[jsillyfun]

I weaned at 2.5 yrs and yes we lost the nap completely but it resulted in much easier bedtimes. We did rest time in the afternoons bc she was cranky and that lasted a few months.

[anna7602]

DD stopped napping when I weaned her, but she was only 2. And while the whole process sucked, I was so ready to be done that I wouldn't have kept going even for the prospect of keeping the nap. We adjusted, she made up for the lost daytime sleep at night and all was well. It was nice not to worry about activities or anything cutting into nap time because she didn't nap anyway.

As for the weaning itself, we talked about it a lot and there was some crying and a lot of me feeling guilty, but once I decided to drop the last session, it wasn't a drawn-out affair. Beware of hormonal surges, though, because those are very real.

[meltoine]

I weaned DS1 at 3.25.

I told him that he was getting to be a grown up big boy, and grown up big boys don't need nursing. So when he was ready to decide that he was a grown up big boy, we wouldn't nurse anymore but we would go to the toy store and pick out a grown up big boy toy.

I reminded him of this every day for about two weeks before he woke up one morning, said, "I'm a grown up big boy! Let's go to the toy store!" He chose a ninja turtle water squirter. He asked the next day at nap time for nursing. I reminded him that he was a grown up big boy with his grown up big boy ninja turtle water squirter, and he said, "Oh, right. Ok!"

And that was it.

[zeewifeandmama]

Ack! Sorry just remembered to pop in here. I'm really no help, though. I cold turkey weaned DS because I got put on a non nursing friendly anti depressant. It was best for me to do so. It took about a good 1.5 weeks before he was totally over it. He did drop his naps completely. He was 33 months.

With my DD she was 27 months but I was pregnant and I think that made it easier. Both times mentally I was just DONE though so that's how I pushed through.

Good luck to you! I know it's an emotional decision!

[jena]

DS is the only one that BFd that long. I was pg and on progesterone and it made my boobs HURT so much and so suddenly that I just couldn't take it. He only nursed at night, but for a week when he asked to nurse I said "no thank you" and offered him a sipply of water and snuggled. He never fussed about it and oddly took my "no thank you" in stride. After that week he never asked again.

Slightly random additional information... As part of that snuggling to replace BFing, he started really fixating on my inner arm. The upper fatty part, ya know? I think it was just the most boob-like skin he could get to and he would hold my upper arm all day if I could stand it. He still does it and he's about to turn 6.

[rootbeerfloat]

I weaned DS at 26m when I got pregnant and DD at 3. In both cases, I cut out all sessions (naptime, bedtime and overnight) at once.

With DD, I (actually, H and even DS lol) talked it up ahead of time: "DD, when you're 3, no more boo!" And then the weekend after her third birthday, I did it. Having gone through it before with DS, I knew I would just have to deal with the tears, which lasted a few days/nights. I only handled naps on weekends (and sometimes we'd drive her), but for bedtime and naptime, I just laid down with her and snuggled her until she fell asleep.