I am not going to lie. I knew the rule existed. I think I saw it once on here. But I thought that DD could be discrete and hand the invite to her group of friends it would not come up. Of course the plan failed and I screwed up by not looking at the rule more closely. I take responsibility for my fail. If I can't get the kids parents email/phone number I am going to just not invite them this time. We are still doing cupcakes for the entire class on her birthday.
w Watch out. We are told not to bring snacks for birthdays.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Sept 28, 2015 15:22:36 GMT -5
I'm a fan of the rule. That has been the rule every year DD has been in school, but this year the district policy is that they won't hand out any invitations (even if you invite the whole class). I suspect the teachers will still pass them out (especially if they're in sealed envelopes -- they could be something besides invitations).
But I also understand your frustration on not knowing the contact info. Our school can't/won't do a directory. They won't even provide class lists or other parents' email addresses, except to the room parent. The closest you can get is that for parents who join the PTO (which is totally voluntary), you can see their email addresses on the member-only PTO website. Some parents fill in the form and indicate their kids' names and what teachers their kids have, but not all.
Thankfully, both last year and this year the room parents have sent out emails to all the parents that have the email addresses all cc'ed. So I've been able to track down parents of kids DD wants to play with. The teacher's emails to the whole class have everyone bcc'ed, which I assume is required by the school.
I am not going to lie. I knew the rule existed. I think I saw it once on here. But I thought that DD could be discrete and hand the invite to her group of friends it would not come up. Of course the plan failed and I screwed up by not looking at the rule more closely. I take responsibility for my fail. If I can't get the kids parents email/phone number I am going to just not invite them this time. We are still doing cupcakes for the entire class on her birthday.
w Watch out. We are told not to bring snacks for birthdays.
During the Parent Orientation we where told that for birthday only we can bring in STORE bought only cupcakes. I asked in front of everyone how many kids are in the class. So I am covered there.
We have the same rule in our class, maybe school-wide. And as smart and brilliant as my 1st grader is, I wouldn't trust her to be able to hand them out to certain kids on the sly. EVERYTHING IS SO EXCITING WHEN YOU'RE SIX!
We're fortunate that we have an email list directory for all the parents, so I just emailed the parents of the kids she wanted to invite and asked for their mailing addresses.
Post by jeaniebueller on Sept 28, 2015 17:57:37 GMT -5
Can you find the parents on FB and shoot them a message? I'm going to be dealing with the same thing in a few months. My plan is to ask DS's buddy at afterschool care he you can put a note in his backpack for his mom. And do it on the sly so the other kids don't see.
I'm surprised at the # of classes/ schools who don't do some kind of directory or class roster. How are parents supposed to contact one another? Our school does a directory but ONLY for parents who expressly say "put me in the directory". But most parents opt in. We want to be able to contact each other/let our kids contact each other.
I'm surprised at the # of classes/ schools who don't do some kind of directory or class roster. How are parents supposed to contact one another? Our school does a directory but ONLY for parents who expressly say "put me in the directory". But most parents opt in. We want to be able to contact each other/let our kids contact each other.
I agree. We have to sign three pieces of paper to opt in to the directory, but we also control what information is posted. It can range from just kid's name and classroom to parents' names, emails, phone number(s) and mailing address.
I'm surprised at the # of classes/ schools who don't do some kind of directory or class roster. How are parents supposed to contact one another? Our school does a directory but ONLY for parents who expressly say "put me in the directory". But most parents opt in. We want to be able to contact each other/let our kids contact each other.
Ours isn't out until late October. Luckily the teacher has a shutterfly page for sharing. Most, but not all, parents have entered their info.
Post by mrssandro on Sept 28, 2015 22:32:46 GMT -5
So DD seems fine with us not inviting her classmates. I told her if they give me contact info for their parents I would call them and ask. I think she understands and didn't push it. Luckily she has friends from daycare and her last school. All peeps I text and are aware. I am mailing them a invite.
lesson learned and a PSA for those who are planning birthdays soon.
Can you write your contact info down for each of those parents and ask the teacher to give that to those kids so that their parents can contact you? Your DD can tell those kids it's so she can invite them to her party. Might be a workaround?
It seems odd to me that your solution is to not invite the kids that she wanted to invite to her party. Wasn't that the whole point of selective invites in the first place? To let her choose who got to be at her party?
But if she's cool with it, that's all that matters!
We have the same rule and did at our last school too. We do get a directory though. I sent invites to the kids homes.
I think you can work around it to get the kids info. Have your child give a note to her friend. DD has come home with phone numbers so we can arrange play dates.
It seems odd to me that your solution is to not invite the kids that she wanted to invite to her party. Wasn't that the whole point of selective invites in the first place? To let her choose who got to be at her party?
But if she's cool with it, that's all that matters!
Yes, my solution would have been to invite the whole class, I don't know, it's a new class and maybe it's a nice thing to have them all for the birthday but you know your kid better.
I did know about the rule from being on here for so long and I do think it has merit. When I was growing up we did not have that rule nor was there any kind of directory. You just left people out and that was it. I still bear the scars.
She only invited 4 kids from her class. Vrs 17 for the entire class.
She invited 8 friends that she often has play dates with. All people I have their number and will mail the invite.
Party location is by the head and the plan was to stay around 10-15 people. I think it is $20 a head. I wish she picked somewhere else that allowed for more people and wasn't so expensive or I would have invited the class.
So I realized I sucked after getting a invite this am from her teacher from one of her friends that invited the whole class to her birthday the next day. Bonus: At least I have her mother's email now.
We don't have any rules around parties. We also don't get any contact info. my kids get invited to some and not others. As long as my kid is inviting less tha half I don't think it's exclusive. It's when you're excluding only a few kids that's a problem.
Sometimes the volunteer coordinator will cc all the parents on their email request and then you can guess the parents but it sucks not having a contact list. I've never mailed invited. Just email or hand delivered.
I'd ask your daughter to request their phone number /email addresses. Or have her hand out yours with a note for them to respond so you can send.
If they're passed out at school we have the same rule. Can you somehow get ahold of the parents info? My school has a directory of all the kids (it's optional but I think most parents participate).
My daughter has an early October birthday and we ran into this problem when she started Kindergarten. I had her give a note to several friends asking for their address, email and/or phone number. I said nothing about invitations! Their parents replied back because at that age the kids are not reliable with that information. Then I mailed or emailed invitations.