I love my job, and I think it would greatly affect my mental health if I didn't work. I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. If anything, I'd adjust my schedule to attend school functions, etc.
Other than early mornings, I am fortunate that my job is very very flexible, so I plan to more shift my work hours around my kids' schedules rather than decrease my FTE. I have a male role model in my area who does just that.
I will say scheduling is only getting more difficult with age and activities, but obviously the activities are by choice, and I prefer to do them during the week to keep our weekends free.
I'm not going to answer the question, but I will say it's MUCH harder to be in a 2-working-parent household once the kids start school. If I ever wanted to stay home (which I don't), it would be now that I have 2 in school to make all these logistics so much easier!
I see my boss going through this. At least she'll be understanding when I'm in the same position and asking to leave after 4 hours in the office.
I liked being home during the sore school years. Now that they're older I'm back to work.
Frankly I see the reasoning as the hours between 3&6 on are when kids get into trouble. But I can't imagine my kids will be hanging with me regardless. They'll be with their friends whether I'm home or not won't they be? Or in sports or whatever. But I don't envision my 13 year old hanging out with me after school.
ETA. I work PT (5.5 hours/day) and have the option of being with my kids before school and after school and I chose before school. They are in after care now but will be home alone after school once they're in grade 6&4.
I used to think that I would want to stop working until he is in school, but now that I'm on leave, nope. I may stop working once my youngest is in school so I can go back to school myself.
I do think that during the tween years is good because you'll be around for all of their activities and meet all their friends and stuff before they turn into teenage assholes.
To take a few years actually off work? I'd only do that the first few years.
Part-time work I'd love to do....well, forever LOL.
I agree. I'm part time (30 hours) now, and when all kids are in school I see myself shifting my schedule around to be able to pick them up from school. Now that I'm on this side of it, I don't ever want to go back full time!
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 29, 2015 11:26:06 GMT -5
I quit to be a SAHM when C was born (knew for a long time that I would). I have no intention on ever going back to work since by the time they are out of high school and off to college DH will want to retire.
One of my good friends, who stayed home when her girls were babies and went back when they were older (and now they are teenagers), says the exact same that you posted (that she wishes she had stayed home during the later years since that's when her girls needed her the most.
Post by purplecow0206 on Sept 29, 2015 11:44:41 GMT -5
Having had a SAHM, I think i would much rather be around when A is in school. I'm hoping to be able to start my day early and manage a split day so we don't have aftercare costs. I can hopefully work a few hours in the evening to finish up things. We'll see.
Once he's in school and either needs to be driven to / from school (we are aiming for private), or to / from afterschool activities such as sports.
Right now I work Mon-Thurs from 8:30am-4pm, which is considered PT in my office. It's 30 hrs. I feel like I have a good balance, but do wish I could either leave a little earlier to completely avoid the evening rush, or have one additional day off.
Transportation to school may be an issue once he starts 1st grade, so I'm sure well evaluate the benefit of my employment at that point.
Post by formerlyak on Sept 29, 2015 11:49:01 GMT -5
My oldest is only 9, so I may sing a different tune in high school, but as involved as I was in high school and as shitty as junior high was socially, I don't think I needed my mom around after school. And she did work and volunteered to help with some of my activities and her involvement was plenty for me, because at that age you also don't want your mom around.
If I could take a few years off, it would be K - 2. I will never forget my ds asking me why other moms get to drop their kinder kid off at the classroom and he had to go to before/after care. Or why some moms got to volunteer in the class every week and I didn't. Or why some moms got to go on field trips and I didn't. It broke my heart because at that age he noticed I wasn't there and actually cared. Luckily I get a crap load of vacation time, so I started volunteering monthly using my vacation time and doing one field trip per year. When he started first grade and his start time was 8:10 instead of 10:30 (he was an afternoon kinder), I started parking my car and walking him to class (until 3rd grade when he asked to be dropped off in the kid valet line like the older kids). Now that he is in 4th, he understands I work so we can do certain things, but if there is something he really wants me to be at at school, let me know and I will work it out. And he does and it works. But he would never want me there weekly anymore like in the earlier grades.
When DS is older for sure. He seems to love having my mom watch him, and I like that he is used to having different people care for him. Plus I have no desire to SAH right now. I love spending time with him , but I also love the break from chasing him around.
I have vivid memories of coming home from school when I was in middle school and being really sad I didn't have my mom home to talk to. Evenings were a mad rush of dinner, activities, and homework for me, housework for my parents, so we didn't have a lot of quality time together. I felt I got lost in the shuffle a bit and my parents didn't notice some pretty big issues I was having at the time. I want to make sure we're around a lot and available when DS is older.