If you could stop working for a few years....

[simpsongal]

Which years in your child's life would you choose? 

I've thought about doing this myself and I've mentioned it to colleagues and friends.  Interestingly, a lot of the MOOKS say they wish they had more time with their kids during the teenage years or tween years, rather than earlier years (when women tend to step back from work).

Thoughts? Anyone consider doing this? 

[Deleted]

I want to go down to part time when Ethan starts kindergarten and Ben is in second grade. That way I can pick them up from school and we can have some downtime/help with homework/relax before dinner. But if I had to pick a few years to either be part time or not working at all I'd pick 14-18 so I can be more involved in their activities and help them prepare for college.

[aspentosh]

I think you're more "needed" at the older ages- help with homework, driving to activities, etc.

DD could care less who is watching her right now. So if she were in daycare or preschool or some combination she'd be happy.

I plan to stay home for the foreseeable future. Still hoping for a second kid, but even if we only have DD, I want to be home until at least middle school. I think.

[SJ]

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

[simpsongal]

Sept 29, 2015 8:57:08 GMT -5 @starry said:

I am thinking middle school or high school. More fun activities for me to watch, more time for them to get in trouble and know I am all over them!

Hehe, that's true too.  Yeah, I would be bummed if I had to miss baseball games and whatnot b/c I was commuting home from work.  My mom was pretty available for us.

Ugh, I keep hoping life will get easier but MOOKS have told me it's always tough, just in different ways.

[Deleted]

I usually hear people say tween or the younger teen years, (so like 10-15 or 16). I guess because that's when things can go south in a big hurry for a kid.

[cajunmom]

Sept 29, 2015 8:56:41 GMT -5 SJ said:

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

Exactly this.

I do WAH but I don't have the freedom to take them their activities and sports. If I did, that would be ideal. DD1 has band (football games, etc) and is on two basketball teams and DD2 is a competitive gymnast and on the volleyball team. That means most days of the week they need to go somewhere. It takes a village to get them where they need to be in the afternoons. They are 9 and 12.

[swank]

Sept 29, 2015 8:56:41 GMT -5 SJ said:

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

Same. But I can basically do that schedule with enough planning.

[Marmee]

I'm choosing 0-2yrs old. Once my kids are in school (their school runs P-8th grade) I'm much more comfortable working. I hope to keep my kids busy & broke in HS like I was...lol.

[robyn]

I'd say middle school/high school too. I think kids at that age need more support; plus homework help, rides to activities, social support, etc. At 1, DD has no clue that she's missing out on tons of time with me because I'm at work. And she doesn't really "need" me. She has a great daycare provider that takes wonderful care of her. But at 12 or 14, I'd like my kid(s) to know I"m available more than just at 6:00 p.m. when I get home. I'd also like to be able to volunteer at their school or with groups they are involved in. Buuuut, the career I chose is not flexible, and requires me to be in the office 8:30-5:30. Unless something big changes with DH's employment, I will always have to work.

[cinco]

Early elementary. My kids get home at 2:30 and it is nice to be home to help with homework, get them to activities, and have some time to relax. I hope to be working FT by the teen years, and imagine they will be pretty self sufficient. We live close enough to the school where I won't need to be their taxi service.

[SJ]

Sept 29, 2015 9:04:57 GMT -5 swank said:

Sept 29, 2015 8:56:41 GMT -5 SJ said:

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

Same. But I can basically do that schedule with enough planning.

I think I might be able to do it too. We'll see....

[auntie]

I have a couple of friends who had their kids in their mid-30s who went to part time, consulting and even temporary retirement when their kids were in middle school.

I get their reasoning. It's an age when peers become a much larger influence and kids have a lot more unsupervised blocks of time in which to make bad choices.

[mrshandy]

I would have chosen like newborn to 24 months, then gone part time, then maybe full time or like 35 hours would be perfect.

[mlt]

Middle school. Those were the years when my brother went off the rails.

They are also in a ton of activities at that age but can't drive yet.

[teatimefor2]

I have a close friend who has always worked a big money banker hours job. Both her and her DH; they have a nanny and help. She plans to reduce her hours now that her kids are older to spend more time with them. Oldest is close to 10.

I never want to work FT. It would be too hard with DH's hours and no local family. I would love to work PT once they are in school.

[bowies]

I don't think I can answer this yet. We have discussed having me drop down to PT when DS is 5 so I can pick him up from school, but that assumes I have a job that allows that. I'm not sure I would want to fully stop.

I do regret not taking my full ML. My company allows up to 24 weeks. I took 18. That's what keeps me tethered to this job. That and the flexibility and that I'm finally doing something interesting.

[krystee]

I think I would do 10-13 when they are kind of old for daycare/after school care, but too young to be on their own. Those adolescent years can be tough and I'd like to be around more for them then.

[simpsongal]

This thread and idea of cutting back later is sort of giving me hope. I'm not sure if I'll cut back on work, but at least I feel like I haven't necessarily missed the magical or logical window for it.

FWIW, I've thought about going to 4 days/week. I work from home some and I can move my hours around pretty easily (e.g., my boss often leaves at 2:30pm). I think I'll be in a better position to cut back later once I've paid off SLs completely and hopefully DH's income goes up.

[atlas]

I don't have kids yet, but I hope to kinda do it how my mom did it. My mom stopped working and then picked up teaching part time at night only for 4 years. Started when I was 4.5 and my sister was 8. It timed with a move and then going back to work timed with another move. She was able to do all the PTA stuff, she was a main contact on my 1st grade soccer team. It was nice. When she went back to work full time it was a pretty flexible job with really great PTO (government) so we were still able to go on summer vacations.

If I knew that I was going back to a job with less PTO, I might aim for like age 9-11ish with my kids.

But really the point is moot because I'm not anywhere near there yet, hah.

[steamboat185]

I'd like to be around when DD is in school. I see my coworkers juggling summer camps, before and after school care, and activities and it seems exhausting.

[drloretta]

I was a SAHM DD's first 4 years, which I think was a good idea. Looking forward I'd like to be a SAHM again (or work PT) when she's in middle school or high school.

[badtzmaru22]

I really wish I could have had a six month maternity leave, both times, and then I'd like to work part time starting next fall so DD could go to pre-K. I would still have to make the same amount of money..... Lol.

[undecidedowl]

For my own enjoyment? 0-3 yo
For my kids benefit? 13-16 yo

[anna7602]

Sept 29, 2015 8:56:41 GMT -5 SJ said:

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

This what I do (DD finishes at 4) and it's a nice balance. I don't see myself going back to anything FT for a while, if ever.

[Deleted]

I'll probably cut back to part time when J is in 2nd and the girls in K. Or maybe the year after. Id like to have that afternoon time with them to do homeowrk, activities, etc.

Right now I work 7 to 330 which allows me to have the afternoons with them and I love it. If I can make full time work when they are in school I'll stay full time but I envision cutting back at some point.

[SJ]

Sept 29, 2015 10:25:05 GMT -5 h said:

Sept 29, 2015 8:56:41 GMT -5 SJ said:

I don't foresee ever not working at all.

However, I think it would be dreamy to be able to be done by the time school is done (so 2:30? 3?) to be available and present after school for activities, homework, etc.

This is what I do.  All three kids are dropped off at their respective schools by 9, I work from home during the day (realistically getting maybe 4 hours of billable work done once I account for administrative tasks, eating, etc.), then leave to start carpool rounds at about 2:30.  I started doing this when my oldest started kinder, and I love being able to take them to after school activities, make all their games, and have play dates, not to mention extra time for homework and family time in the evenings.

i worked full-time until my kids were almost 6, 3, and 3 months, and given the choice of having more time at home when they were babies and toddlers versus during elementary school, I absolutely pick elementary school.  I hope to still have a lot of flexibility when they are in middle school, too.

I know I have told you a million times, but I think you are living the (my) dream.

I am in the office at 7am, so I am thinking that DH can do all the morning stuff, and then maybe I can work out a deal with my boss to leave at like 2 or 2:30pm instead of 4pm. That's still a pretty full day for me, and would let me do the after school stuff.

[mswax]

I'm not going to answer the question, but I will say it's MUCH harder to be in a 2-working-parent household once the kids start school. If I ever wanted to stay home (which I don't), it would be now that I have 2 in school to make all these logistics so much easier!

[savan]

I plan to take off, or retire when my son hits middle school age. It's so easy to find good, full time care for young kids but that becomes more of a challenge as they get older. There is no after school program at the middle school. I feel like the tweens and teens are when my kids need my presence the most.

Also, I've found the older the kids get the harder it is to juggle all our obligations. Sometimes I long for the days when I could leave work, pick the kids up from daycare, feed them dinner, and then put them to bed. Now I'm constantly checking the calendar to determine how early I need to get the kids so that they can finish homework, make it to evening practices, eat, and get to bed at a decent time.

[rugbywife]

I would love to be off when they start school until grade 3 (so 5 years). It would let me volunteer in their schools, maybe get my PhD. But that won't ever happen in a million years.