So, yesterday I mentioned that DD lost her favorite little stuffed toy at the farmer's market on Sunday. She was devastated come bedtime when she realized it wasn't here and cried herself to sleep. Yesterday I went and bought a new one.
While at the store DS found a small stuffed puppy and begged for it. I very rarely buy toys just because, usually only for a holiday. Just the day before at the toy store I bought him this little water toy he had been admiring.
DS kept saying that it wasn't fair because several weeks back he lost his favorite stuffed puppy and I didn't go out and buy him a new one. I explained, again, that he's old enough to know he needs to be responsible for his things and that I'm not replacing toys every time he breaks or loses them.
Now, they are 3.5 years apart in age and it's always been relatively easy to explain to him that sometimes DD being so much younger means that things feel unfair and that what's fair isn't always what's equal.
It's also the first time he's ever said I wasn't being fair. He didn't throw a fit, and he put the puppy back when I said no. But, especially since the day before I had bought him that toy, I didn't want to set the expectation that he was going to start getting toys all the time.
I've already decided whether or not I'm going back for the puppy but I'm Curious what you would do
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Sept 29, 2015 9:52:01 GMT -5
I admit I spoil my kids with toys so I'm probably the wrong person to answer. Lol. We definitely do a lot of just because toys but neither one of my kids throw a fit or demand something every time either. If it got to that point I would change.
With that being said, it's tough to say if I would get the puppy or not. If my kid had a track record of losing toys? I would probably pull back on replacing it to hopefully teach a lesson. A one time mistake? I would replace and explain that toys cost money and we need to be responsible for them and the next time he might not get a new one. With ds anyway we do extra chores for $ so I would make him pay for at least part of it.
Post by dizzycooks on Sept 29, 2015 9:53:02 GMT -5
I'd wait a few days/weeks and then probably give it to him as a reward for something. Does he have a birthday coming up? Is he about to lose a tooth? Perhaps he's working really hard at school and you want him to know you are noticing? Or perhaps he's been helpful with some chores around the house? I'd use that as an opportunity to give it to him since he's obviously still thinking about it and misses it.
Post by mamaalysson on Sept 29, 2015 10:00:08 GMT -5
I think you handled it really well, and I probably would not go back and get the puppy. But my older one is also not the kind of kid that has one particular lovey, so her losing a stuffed animal is not the same tragedy as if her little brother were to lose his owl lovey that the has snuggled with since he was born, you know? My kid also insists on dragging all the things out of the house with her, despite lots of, "You're going to lose track of it and it will get lost..." warnings. And she predictably loses whatever it is. Usually it's some small little trinket, though...stuffed animals usually stay in the car if they come with us because she decided she doesn't want to carry it. If I did decide to replace it, like KC said, I would remind her that things are not free and that replacing lost or broken toys cost money...maybe there is a usual treat that you do that you skip to make the point that there is not an endless supply of money? Or, he can help earn the money to pay for it (I'm blanking on how old he is)?
Post by lattelady5 on Sept 29, 2015 10:33:31 GMT -5
I'd probably give him the opportunity to earn some money to buy the puppy himself. And I do think this would depend on if he's always losing stuff or it was more a one time thing...this kind of stuff is hard though. DD has had to deal with "he's younger than you and doesn't understand" before and generally I think that's okay. I just think if he didn't throw a fit and expressed his feelings in a good manner, I wouldn't be opposed to giving him a chance to earn it.
I would have gone back and gotten in, too. Actually I would have bought it that day, lol. Now this is provided your DS is usually really good about taking care of his things. If he is not my answer would change.
If DD lost her baby doll I'd probably have to immediately go buy another. It's her lovey and she would never sleep without it!
DD has a birthday and Christmas within weeks of each other. We do just because gifts sometimes.
I would have gone back as well. Toys are one thing, but a loved stuffed animal/lovey, etc. I would bend on. I am also a sucker for whatever will get my kids to sleep because mama will go crazy otherwise.
So, I had it waiting in his car seat when I picked him up from school. He cried. Cried! He hugged me and said "mommy! Thank you so much! I'll never lose him ever ever I promise!" And it never left his hands all day.
I like to think I would have said no and not gone back, but I'm a pushover and probably would have bought it when he asked for it, especially since he didn't throw a fit. His reaction was so sweet and totally worth it.
This is the first thing he's ever lost and he was devastated. He's broken a couple things but eh, that happens. For the most part he's pretty good
If it was the first thing he lost, and he had asked nicely for it while at the store, I would get it for him. I'm a pushover for when my kid asks for things nicely, though!
Lol you guys are so much better than me. I went back and bought it. I haven't given it to him yet
I would have done the same thing #idrovetofourtargetsforshopkinslastweek
I'm glad you went back. I feel like your son is a lot like G. They get along so well with their little sisters, and are generally really understanding about the fact that things aren't always exactly the same, that it's easy to forget he's only 4, ya know?
I would have done the same thing #idrovetofourtargetsforshopkinslastweek
I'm glad you went back. I feel like your son is a lot like G. They get along so well with their little sisters, and are generally really understanding about the fact that things aren't always exactly the same, that it's easy to forget he's only 4, ya know?
Totally. At the end of the day I said, is this $7 puppy a hill I want to die on? Also, if I lost something of mine I would totally go buy a replacement.