S/O relationships - weaknesses

[wanderingenough]

Where could your relationship use some strengthening?

[Deleted]

Both of us are procrastinators, and we're both late to stuff. It's a struggle to get out the door on time because one or both of us is dawdling. We really need to work on that.

[estrellita]

We're both a bit lazy. As in, dishes pile up, things don't get picked up or put away on a regular basis, etc. We both enjoy sitting on our computers and watching TV when we should probably spend more time doing daily chores and going for walks and such because that would be a better use of our time! I have a feeling it's going to take a long time to unpack here.. lol.

[travelbug]

I'm really organized and H isn't. This causes some strain in our marriage at times and can feel like I nag him a lot more. He never complains but I always feel like I'm SO annoying.

Another weakness I would say is that I always have to be "the bad guy". Like in our rent situation. I'm the one who has to deal with talking to the landlord etc. Things of this nature always fall on me.

Lastly, productivity. I constantly have to be reminding H of his tasks at hand that he needs to be doing. It always results in me nagging. I always feel like I'm being a pest. But H continues to tell me needs me to "start fires" under him to get him moving and stay on track. I feel this is a weakness in some way. I wish he would be more of a self starter sometimes. But that's alright. It goes back to balancing us out. He is the calm one and I'm the one who is always wound up.

[Deleted]

travelbug I definitely nag my H to get stuff done. I just know that he tends to forget things if I don't remind him. To-do lists on notepads don't work for him, they just become coasters that he sets his drink on lol. I don't mind nagging.

[bk1]

We have different priorities on household stuff. Sometimes this leads to nagging at each other and hurt feelings.

[amaranth]

-Going on dates. He doesn't care much, I do, and when we do go out it's kind of boring. lol.

-Romantic gestures. He isn't very romantic and minimizes holidays which frustrates me/hurts my feelings....whereas he feels overly pressured by me to conform to some perfect idea of romance and holidays that he doesn't value. lol. So, this will probably never get worked out. We both try to compromise and some years are more successful than others.

-Spiritual growth. We are pretty bad at setting any time aside to every pray together or read the Bible together. We discuss the sermons after church and that is about it. We pray together a few times a year when something monumental happens. This is not ideal and we both know it should be better, but I guess neither of us have made an effort to improve.

[pooh8402]

While we know each other's love languages, we could do a much better job at actually using that information and showing love the way our partner prefers. For instance, DH lives when I write little notes to him, or perform some act of service.

We argue, a lot, over stupid shit. Sometimes in public, which I'm trying to be better at not doing.

[wanderingenough]

I think we could both be more affectionate day to day.

[katespade]

Mine is similar to estrellita's. We're both incredibly lazy. We really struggle with keeping our house even clean-ish. We always talk about how we're going to do things, but rarely ever follow through because it's easier to spend the day/evening/weekend sitting on the couch together.

[melsamoony]

I feel like our biggest weakness in our relationship right now is that I feel I am the driving force of responsibility. H is great at doing things with DS but other responsibilities (dishes, laundry, bills, ect) won't get done until/unless I ask. It gets old.

I try to remember that I work part-time so these things are more my responsibility because I have more time to do them but I would like H to realize what needs to be done without being asked. Sometimes I feel like if I weren't around nothing would ever get done.

Decision making: neither of us likes to make decisions....we are both middle children and waffle a ton!  Trying to decide what to eat for dinner is sometimes a 20 minute process.  We are better with bigger decisions...it is the mundane stuff that gets us.

[HoneySpider]

We both could be better at showing appreciation/love for each other. We both know we feel that way, but it's never a bad thing to hear someone say "you look nice today" or "thanks for doing x." I do think we've gotten better at this, though.

We also get lazy about things sometimes. We are both procrastinators.

[anyastroud]

Sept 30, 2015 20:22:22 GMT -5 katespade said:

Mine is similar to estrellita's. We're both incredibly lazy. We really struggle with keeping our house even clean-ish. We always talk about how we're going to do things, but rarely ever follow through because it's easier to spend the day/evening/weekend sitting on the couch together.

yep This x1000

[anyastroud]

Oct 1, 2015 8:05:30 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

We both could be better at showing appreciation/love for each other. We both know we feel that way, but it's never a bad thing to hear someone say "you look nice today" or "thanks for doing x." I do think we've gotten better at this, though.

We also get lazy about things sometimes. We are both procrastinators.

I have been trying to do this more. I can say that I would appreciate it also if he did it more as well.

[ewall]

Similar to wanderingenough and HoneySpider, I think we've lost the art of romance and wooing each other on a daily basis.

[luv2rn4fun]

pooh8402- We fight about the stupidest things too...it's so annoying (DH starts it most of the time and I really just need to stop engaging because it's ridiculous).

melsamoony- I seriously don't know what DH would do (or if C would survive) if I left them together for the day.  He seriously has no clue on his schedule, what to do, how to do it even though C is 9 months old.  It doesn't bother me as much any more but it would still be nice to have confidence that he could take care of C without me for a day.  At least he loves playing with him and is much more bonded than the early days...progress!  Also, most of this is because I SAH with him every day so it's really my schedule/routine and not something we created together.

-Sex (and affection in general...we hardly even cuddle anymore).

-Speaking each other's love language. 

-Showing appreciation...we used to be really good at this and have gotten lazy and into a really bad habit of keeping score of who's doing more.

[krystee]

We are also both lazy, so our house is kind of a disaster way too often.

Also, I almost never start a fight, but if he does, I can go from 0 to 60 in about two seconds. So I would say we both need to learn to let things go better.

[awick14]

We are both so lazy. It's hard.

We also have different priorities so when we are not lazy we can't agree on what to do.

[Deleted]

My biggest weakness in the relationship is my independent and learning it's ok to depend and lean on my husband. I grew up with a single mother so I learn to be independent.

As a couple our biggest weakness is communication. It may just be because of our work schedules but honestly there are weeks we can go days without talking which leads to us not telling each other about plans, which leads to conflicts.