Being a step parent sucks

[TheSeaward]

Dh is travelling for work and I had to stay behind to care for his 4 kids (11,13, 14, 15) and they have been absolutely horrible to me,I am at my wits end,  this weekend has been so long and thank god tomorrow is Monday so I can go back to work and they can go back to school

He travels four times a year to the Uk, their mother has not taken them even once.  This trip has been the worst so far!

Vent over

[eddy]

Man those are tough ages. Hang in there.

/clinks wine glass

[TheSeaward]

I am on day 6 of 10
Man I miss my dh

[moonriver]

That sounds awful. Why won't their mother take them?

[livinitup]

What would he do if he didn't have you?

[TheSeaward]

Oct 4, 2015 18:39:03 GMT -5 moonriver said:

That sounds awful. Why won't their mother take them?

Her typical excuse is that we live too far, but We couldn't even ask her this time, her lazy, non child support paying ass is in the county lock up

[scottyderp]

I honestly don't know how people step-parent.  It's shitty that their own mother won't take them, that must hurt them.  Kudos for doing the mothering they obviously so desperately need.  Hugs and wine.

[TheSeaward]

Oct 4, 2015 18:39:59 GMT -5 livinitup said:

What would he do if he didn't have you?

Honestly he likely would not have gotten custody if he didn't have me.  So I really can't answer that

[moonriver]

That sucks, but it sounds like they are better off with you than her.

[TheSeaward]

Oct 4, 2015 18:45:42 GMT -5 moonriver said:

That sucks, but it sounds like they are better off with you than her.

Thank you, that is what I keep telling myself

[Dezi]

OMG! Even if they were your own children it would suck! Those ages are the worst, you're a saint.

[pagas]

That sounds so hard, I hope the next 4 days fly by for you

[suzubell]

You're a saint. Hang in there. Drink lots of wine.

[Deleted]

Hang in there. Bare minimum. Pizza delivery and buy four packs of new underwear til he is back.

[scottyderp]

Oct 4, 2015 18:52:14 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Hang in there. Bare minimum. Pizza delivery and buy four packs of new underwear til he is back.

:Y: <)

[isabel]

He and his ex had 3 kids in the same number of years? Holy crap! And  :drink: :drink: :drink: for you. Sorry. That sucks.

[meganew]

Oh man, those ages are the height of mean. Lots of wine to you.

[compassrose]

((hugs)) I have three SSs (12, 14, 16). Keep them when their dad is traveling is...different. Like the time oldest SS wanted to make his own dinner and chop up the food with a knife in each hand (like an Iron Chef). I had to argue with a tweenager with two giant knives in his hands (he's a good kid, and he wasn't trying to be bad, just adventurous. But I'm still thankful there were no accidents.)

It was easier when I could pick them up and carry them.

Send them to bed at 9:30 and drink wine.

[CurlyQ284]

I'm so sorry! When does he get back?

[lilac05]

Those are tough ages, regardless of relationship.

They are so lucky to have you. They may not know it now, and they surely aren't acting like it, but I promise you that they'll look back as adults and really appreciate all you are doing and how you loved them even when they were acting pretty unlovable.

Deep breaths, a few glasses of wine, choose your battles wisely, and remember you're over half way there!

[Bernadine]

That sounds really tough. Major kudos to you! Just do what you need to do to get by for the next few days.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Oct 4, 2015 18:42:02 GMT -5 TheSeaward said:

Oct 4, 2015 18:39:59 GMT -5 livinitup said:

What would he do if he didn't have you?

Honestly he likely would not have gotten custody if he didn't have me.  So I really can't answer that

Why not?

[dove]

I'm sorry. That age is hard. I remember my SS at that age and h traveling for work non-stop.

Hang in there!

[TheSeaward]

Oct 4, 2015 19:21:42 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Oct 4, 2015 18:42:02 GMT -5 TheSeaward said:

Honestly he likely would not have gotten custody if he didn't have me.  So I really can't answer that

Why not?

A married man has a better chance of custody than a single one, at least that was the case when we got them

[TheSeaward]

Oct 4, 2015 20:01:51 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

Oct 4, 2015 19:58:11 GMT -5 TheSeaward said:

A married man has a better chance of custody than a single one, at least that was the case when we got them

Also, sounds like he travels for work and has no backup.

Seems strange to need a backup when they live here and I am here

[compassrose]

Oct 4, 2015 20:09:11 GMT -5 TheSeaward said:

Oct 4, 2015 20:01:51 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

Also, sounds like he travels for work and has no backup.

Seems strange to need a backup when they live here and I am here

I think she means if he weren't married, he would have no back up.

[WOT?*]

Oct 4, 2015 19:58:11 GMT -5 TheSeaward said:

Oct 4, 2015 19:21:42 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Why not?

A married man has a better chance of custody than a single one, at least that was the case when we got them

And yet he's the responsible parent and she's in lock-up. Nice.

[karmasabiotch]

It's hard but it pays off at some point. Have you tried a reward system? Have you read conscious discipline? It's a good book for anyone who parents.

My SS is amazing. I always just took a friend role but we only had an EOW and half the summer and whenever else if worked out. It helped that his Mom was very involved.

I can't inagine 4 kids so close in age. Hang in there.

Also, there used to be a decent Blended Families Board on The Bump. I haven't gone there since we migrated here but it could be a source of support for you. If you do venture over there keep in mind that probably 65% of the wonen were in difficult situations and not great at advice but the others were great. I met Curly over there.