Post by cabbagecabbage on Oct 8, 2015 19:09:28 GMT -5
Mine doesn't work that much but he does work 6 days a week with a long commute and sometimes he has to work 10 ot 11 days in a row and becomes unpleasant.
I try to give him a balance of peppy or at least not pissy family time and some alone time where I take the kid to the gym for 2 hours on his day off.
Mine needs emotional support and a sounding board the most so I always listen to his work gripes and he apologizes but I tell him he should always bitch to me so he isn't bitching at work. He listens to my gripes too.
I have never read the love languages type stuff but my husband really responds to verbal praise and thoughtful gestures. Little texts or lunch notes on a napkin. He eats that up.
I yell at him when he is home and I send him passive aggressive texts all evening long when he is at work.
Not what you are looking for, I guess?
You are my inspiration, lol.
miso hugs, hugs and huge hugs. H and I are so mean to each other these last few weeks. I just stopped engaging or attempting to make things better. If my family was closer, I'd stay with them for a bit. Is that an option for you?
miso hugs, hugs and huge hugs. H and I are so mean to each other these last few weeks. I just stopped engaging or attempting to make things better. If my family was closer, I'd stay with them for a bit. Is that an option for you?
Not really. My mom lives an hour away, and I have zero desire to stay with my dad. I guess I could stay at my brother's house.
miso hugs, hugs and huge hugs. H and I are so mean to each other these last few weeks. I just stopped engaging or attempting to make things better. If my family was closer, I'd stay with them for a bit. Is that an option for you?
Not really. My mom lives an hour away, and I have zero desire to stay with my dad. I guess I could stay at my brother's house.
But what would I do about baby? Bring her?
It's not possible.
Take the baby. Co sleep. Continue daycare. Take your nanny. If it's not possible , that's fine but your H and you could use some space. You can clear your head. And it might be nice to wake up to a friendly face.
Not really. My mom lives an hour away, and I have zero desire to stay with my dad. I guess I could stay at my brother's house.
But what would I do about baby? Bring her?
It's not possible.
Take the baby. Co sleep. Continue daycare. Take your nanny. If it's not possible , that's fine but your H and you could use some space. You can clear your head. And it might be nice to wake up to a friendly face.
Yeah, my nanny won't drive that far, and my bro's house is very non-child-friendly. It just wouldn't work.
We outsource A LOT. Cleaning lady, yard (we have extensive landscaping, they care for all of it), pest control, etc. I basically take care of everything at home. I do all of the laundry, deal with the dogs, do pretty much all of the cleaning, do all of the mundane stuff for dd, etc.
The only nonnegotiable is that we trade nights to do bath and bedtime for DD.
If he does get home a bit early, he tries to do something with DD like play outside, go biking, etc. If he's really tired then they lay on the bed while he reads and she watches the iPad. Not the most awesome thing every but they snuggle and it's better than nothing.
He got home early tonight....745 instead of 9. It was the first time all week he's seen M before she goes to bed It broke my heart to see her light up when she saw him tonight. Poor kid.
i've been your h. the things i appreciated at the worst of it (80-120-hour weeks)most: - he took care of all household stulff & any meals i was actually home to eat. - he didn't give me any shit about my hours & founds lots of ways to occupy his time without my help. - but he also sent just the right amount of sweet texts saying he was thinking of me, or to ask me my opinion on things he was taking care of but thought i'd want a say in. (when i'm at work, i'm AT WORK so don't like taking personal texts/calls, and he knows my threshold pretty well. yep, i'm a peach.)
i've been your h. the things i appreciated at the worst of it (80-120-hour weeks)most: - he took care of all household stulff & any meals i was actually home to eat. - he didn't give me any shit about my hours & founds lots of ways to occupy his time without my help. - but he also sent just the right amount of sweet texts saying he was thinking of me, or to ask me my opinion on things he was taking care of but thought i'd want a say in. (when i'm at work, i'm AT WORK so don't like taking personal texts/calls, and he knows my threshold pretty well. yep, i'm a peach.)
we don't have kids, though.
Holy shit, can I ask what field you are in that required 120hrs?? That's insane:(
omg i can't type. same as kizmet. i was working at a kinda famous place & on a competition, both of which exponentially increase the # of hours you work. i didn't stay on after my few-month contract. fuck that. i still work a lot but nowhere near those hours. and now mh expects me to help around the house...womp womp. not really womp womp as i would much rather work half the amount and instead take care of "chores" like rescheduling our cleaning lady & paying bills on my ipad while watching tv. #blessedOrWhatever
Post by creamsiclechica on Oct 9, 2015 0:20:51 GMT -5
miso, I don't post that much here, but I do want to offer some hugs for what you're going through. You're such a smart, sharp, beautiful, and fun person, and you deserve to be surrounded by people that treat you as such. I'm very sorry things are so difficult for you right now.
My husband is military and he works constantly, and it's wearing him thin too. Besides the household maintenance stuff everyone else mentioned, I try to dig deep to tell him how much I appreciate how much he sacrifices being without us for us. I try to remind him that he is valuable and loved, and the fact that it is hard on him to keep this schedule doesn't go unnoticed. I know he is severely under appreciated at work, so I think keeping a positive environment does help, but it's not always easy either. And lately once or twice a month, I've tried giving him time to do something he likes alone, even though I hate sacrificing the family time. That time seems to hold him over a little better.