I work in a predominately African American neighborhood. Thanks for opening my eyes OP. I've only been sitting outside during lunch for 5 years, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time until they shank my ass. I should stop going outside!
She's being offensive by assuming that one race commits crimes. If she were to see me on the street (even though I'm considered light skin for my race) would she run because she looked at my race? There are other African American people on this board and others who have kids who are African American. I really don't get into the racism talk, but when someone comes out and says this mess, it makes me mad. Yes she admitted it, but it still doesn't make it right.
Saying you understand other races commit crimes then say "cure me of my racism" doesn't help her case.
Look at people as a whole, not their race. It doesn't matter where you go, crime comes in all colors and ages. No one can cure her of her racism. She has to want that for herself. Maybe therapy will help. I dunno.
At what point did I say one race commits crimes?
I do want that for myself. I'm trying to get there.
I live in a diverse community now, and I am not scared...not in the slightest. The area we were considering moving to close is closer to the city, and it bothers me that I am no longer considering it because what has transpired over the past year.
You got to be kidding me?! Do you see how many times you put the word "AA" in your OP? You really don't see what you did there?
It's true you can't control your thoughts, really, so work on controlling your actions. A black man is walking down the street, and your first reaction may be to clutch your purse tighter. Instead, acknowledge that this is an undesired reaction, keep walking, relax your grip. Smile and nod at him as you go by. With regards to moving, it isn't wrong to want to live in a low crime area. Research the crime stats instead of the racial makeup. Compare facts instead of fears.
It's true you can't control your thoughts, really, so work on controlling your actions. A black man is walking down the street, and your first reaction may be to clutch your purse tighter. Instead, acknowledge that this is an undesired reaction, keep walking, relax your grip. Smile and nod at him as you go by. With regards to moving, it isn't wrong to want to live in a low crime area. Research the crime stats instead of the racial makeup. Compare facts instead of fears.
Post by laptopvixen on Aug 23, 2012 9:35:57 GMT -5
OP, crimes happen all of the time. What you should be focusing on is your own fear, not the color of the people who are committing crimes that have affected your life.
I live in a city with a lot of violence and a lot of racial diversity. A lot of the violence here is perpetrated by black people. A lot of the violence here is perpetrated by various races. Violence is violence, and should never be associated with one group of people.
Because you don't know how to process your fears, your brain is trying to convince you that if you stay away from X type of person or from X neighborhood that you will be safe. But your brain is lying to you because it doesn't want to delve deeper into the irrationality of your fears.
Fear is a healthy emotion, it saves lives. But it should not dictate your regular exposure to real life. You are in danger of violence 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, we all are. It's how you choose to get yourself out of bed and out of the house every day and live like a normal, generally fearless human being that is your problem, not black people.
Therapy might be good to help you address your fears and why you are making this ridiculous jump of violence = black people.
LOL @ amber. And double LOL at the person who suggested immersion therapy. Not picking on you. It was actually funny. I suppose if that's a thing it may work.
I'm not seeing what's so wrong with saying AA. Anyway, OP, I'm glad you realize you're racist. I guess that's a good step. Beyond that, no one here can REALLY help you.
What I really think though is that if you don't want to live around black people...just don't. It's a free country and you wouldn't be the first to act on your fears in that way.
LOL @ amber. And double LOL at the person who suggested immersion therapy. Not picking on you. It was actually funny. I suppose if that's a thing it may work.
I'm not seeing what's so wrong with saying AA. Anyway, OP, I'm glad you realize you're racist. I guess that's a good step. Beyond that, no one here can REALLY help you.
What I really think though is that if you don't want to live around black people...just don't. It's a free country and you wouldn't be the first to act on your fears in that way.
Suesue thought AA was in reference to Asian Americans.
I do want that for myself. I'm trying to get there.
I live in a diverse community now, and I am not scared...not in the slightest. The area we were considering moving to close is closer to the city, and it bothers me that I am no longer considering it because what has transpired over the past year.
You got to be kidding me?! Do you see how many times you put the word "AA" in your OP? You really don't see what you did there? I'm glad you do want to change your view though.
Of course I kept noting the men who did it were African-American. That's the point to my whole post. Because all of these things were done by a person of the same race, I feel that I am developing an unwanted and unwarranted fear of people who fit that "profile."
And honestly, I don't think it's a fear of African-American men. It's not like I flinch whenever I'm not around white people. I don't give it much thought. However, the thought of moving closer to the area where so much has happened and where the population is primarily African-American freaks me out.
I know it's not justified. I know it's wrong. I'm going to change it about myself.
I believe if my friend had been murdered by four white guys and my stuff had been stolen by some African-American male and then H's car had been broken into by someone who was Hispanic, I would not feel as wary as I do now.
OP, crimes happen all of the time. What you should be focusing on is your own fear, not the color of the people who are committing crimes that have affected your life.
I live in a city with a lot of violence and a lot of racial diversity. A lot of the violence here is perpetrated by black people. A lot of the violence here is perpetrated by various races. Violence is violence, and should never be associated with one group of people.
Because you don't know how to process your fears, your brain is trying to convince you that if you stay away from X type of person or from X neighborhood that you will be safe. But your brain is lying to you because it doesn't want to delve deeper into the irrationality of your fears.
Fear is a healthy emotion, it saves lives. But it should not dictate your regular exposure to real life. You are in danger of violence 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, we all are. It's how you choose to get yourself out of bed and out of the house every day and live like a normal, generally fearless human being that is your problem, not black people.
Therapy might be good to help you address your fears and why you are making this ridiculous jump of violence = black people.
You got to be kidding me?! Do you see how many times you put the word "AA" in your OP? You really don't see what you did there? I'm glad you do want to change your view though.
I believe if my friend had been murdered by four white guys and my stuff had been stolen by some African-American male and then H's car had been broken into by someone who was Hispanic, I would not feel as wary as I do now.
Please read this again and understand how dumb it is.
Read a book and get some education. Voila! You're cured!!!
I would dig deeper. Volunteer in their neighborhood, engage yourself in the positive culture.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
Post by laptopvixen on Aug 23, 2012 9:45:37 GMT -5
If you add up all of the violence ever in the world, caucasians have probably killed more people on this earth in violence than any other race, 100x over.
I would dig deeper. Volunteer in their neighborhood, engage yourself in the positive culture.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
good. continue beyond that. it's not the final solution, but a good start.
I don't want to rag on you, you're getting it enough as it is - you're acknowledging that you're logic is flawed, so I think it's only fair for me to agree with you that you're off base, but give you sound reasons why.
1. It's more appropriate to say(type?) African American or black.
2. You wrote that the poorer population of your said area is predominately black. Naturally, this would lead to the majority of violent crime in your area to be black, as it's the biggest population at poverty/below poverty level. If your poor area was predominately white, the majority of violent crime would be from white offenders. Violent crime is tied more to poverty levels than race. Black just happens to be the race majority in your area, hence why your experiences have been mostly with African Americans. It's statistics.
3. The economy is in the shit, real estate especially. Suburbia has not done well as far as holding value in recent years. Cost of living is lower than the city and suburbs and outlier communities provide more employment for low income families. It would make sense for lower income families to move to suburbia (this applies to ALL RACES).
4. Crime is higher among the poor...dude, because they're struggling. Poor people don't commit violence because they enjoy it (that's generally middle class white males offenders), they do it as a means to survive. Lack of education, funding, healthcare, EVERYTHING really... limits their options of other means. Survival.
5. Suburban areas could held prevent the potential crime by providing more resources in terms of food banks, local school districts, healthcare facilities, & social service agencies that are under resourced and staffed. Crime in metro areas has actually gone down, but suburbs have gone up due to lack of resourcing. Poor people don't move out to the suburbs to harass you and take your shit, they're trying to better themselves and survive.
I don't know how to help, but this makes me sad. I think the experiences you've had are more driven by crime rates and poverty than race. I grew up outside DC, and while I can't speak for the whole area, my town is pretty diverse and also has extremely low crime rates. Its also a very affluent area. I lived outside Memphis for three years, there are so many people struggling there and a lot of people I met were racist. When there aren't that many jobs and you have no money, I mean....I think that might motivate someone to do some crime. I think education is key here. You need to understand why crime happens in order to get off the racism. Crime is usually more heavily concentrated in cities....everywhere, not just your city. Check out some library books on.criminology maybe?
OP, you should have spelled out Africian American. I feel like it was a bit disrespectful not to.
It was just that she couldn't even bring herself to say it out loud; had to abbreviate it and talk about all the AAs. Like my stepmom talks about "the blacks", whispering the word "blacks". Yes because whispering your prejudices makes them more palatable.
It's actually because, for my work, I use text expanders when typing large projects. AA is my shortcut for African-American, just like CAU is my shortcut for Caucasian, etc is for et cetera and so on. I was typing fast and didn't think about the fact my text expander does not work in anything but Word.
After my first post, I just stuck with AA for consistency. However, seeing that it can come off as offensive, I won't use it anymore.
I would dig deeper. Volunteer in their neighborhood, engage yourself in the positive culture.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
I think this is great, as long as you're looking at this service work as helping out people in need, not helping out black people in need. If it's the latter, you put yourself at risk of turning your fear into pity, and that's really not any better.
I was with her until the trailer park comment. Because that isn't discriminatory.
So it's ok to discriminate against poor black people, but not poor white people?
There was a certain tone of sarcasm in my head. We are on the same page. But it was so matter-of-fact, and it sounded like she found it was acceptable.
I don't want to rag on you, you're getting it enough as it is - you're acknowledging that you're logic is flawed, so I think it's only fair for me to agree with you that you're off base, but give you sound reasons why.
1. It's more appropriate to say(type?) African American or black.
2. You wrote that the poorer population of your said area is predominately black. Naturally, this would lead to the majority of violent crime in your area to be black, as it's the biggest population at poverty/below poverty level. If your poor area was predominately white, the majority of violent crime would be from white offenders. Violent crime is tied more to poverty levels than race. Black just happens to be the race majority in your area, hence why your experiences have been mostly with African Americans. It's statistics.
3. The economy is in the shit, real estate especially. Suburbia has not done well as far as holding value in recent years. Cost of living is lower than the city and suburbs and outlier communities provide more employment for low income families. It would make sense for lower income families to move to suburbia (this applies to ALL RACES).
4. Crime is higher among the poor...dude, because they're struggling. Poor people don't commit violence because they enjoy it (that's generally middle class white males offenders), they do it as a means to survive. Lack of education, funding, healthcare, EVERYTHING really... limits their options of other means. Survival.
5. Suburban areas could held prevent the potential crime by providing more resources in terms of food banks, local school districts, healthcare facilities, & social service agencies that are under resourced and staffed. Crime in metro areas has actually gone down, but suburbs have gone up due to lack of resourcing. Poor people don't move out to the suburbs to harass you and take your shit, they're trying to better themselves and survive.
THIS. Betty said exactly what I wanted to say but I am phone posting and I couldn't crank this out. Betty is exactly right. Read this on repeat.
*blink* If anything, if you want an irriational fear to latch onto you should be afraid of men. In all the examples you cited, all the offenders were...male. As people have said, if you're in a mainly Asian area, most of the crimes will probably be committed by Asians. Same for white areas, black, etc.
However, one thing you will see in any specific area is that violent crime is disproportionately commited by males, usually male-on-male violence. Haven't you noticed that when a woman commits such a crime its big news and people are shocked, and usually there's a dicussion on what is going on with women today? (for more info on the invisibility of male violence watch the somewhat cheesy Tough Guise). Its pretty fascinating, really.
Hm. This probably isn't helping with your problem.
I'm more inclined to think you have more of an issue with the poor people based on your trailer park comment. I suggest taking a class on social justice issues and volunteering--help in a domestic violence shelter, or a soup kitchen, maybe mentor a child. Nickel and Dimed is a good read too on poverty and minimum wage in the United States.
You should read up on dynamics of poverty and crime--there's plenty of research and interesting articles out there. I do highly suggest a social justice course, it will definitely change your way of thinking.
I would dig deeper. Volunteer in their neighborhood, engage yourself in the positive culture.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
This is so strange to me. I mean, good for you I suppose, but the idea that there are people out there working with HH in order to get over their fear of black people is rather amusing.
I'm just rather tickled by this, and that makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't know what it says about me.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
I think this is great, as long as you're looking at this service work as helping out people in need, not helping out black people in need. If it's the latter, you put yourself at risk of turning your fear into pity, and that's really not any better.
Next month, my church is doing a sort of Habitat for Humanity project in the city. I've volunteered to help out that weekend. We are partnering with a sister church that is city-based.
This is so strange to me. I mean, good for you I suppose, but the idea that there are people out there working with HH in order to get over their fear of black people is rather amusing.
I'm just rather tickled by this, and that makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't know what it says about me.
Maybe a white person will accidentally hit her with a hammer and she'll be magically cured of only fearing black people.