Post by cabbagecabbage on Oct 9, 2015 11:28:48 GMT -5
We had 4 friends help us move out of our apartment into our house. We were 28 and had spent our life savings on the house. That is the last time I would ask. I think homeowners and families have passed the "beer and pizza" stage.
Post by schitzengiggles on Oct 9, 2015 11:32:49 GMT -5
I guess I'm an odd ball!! We are actually helping my friend move next weekend. She has a family of 4, it's their second home, were in our 30's, and they are stable/would definitely have the finances for a mover. I don't mind at all, in fact when we moved (into our 2nd home) a couple of years ago, before even having a chance to discuss it, our friends were offering help.
In both cases it was a matter of loading/unloading from a rented u-haul, not loading up personal vehicles and driving back and forth. Not sure if that helps?
In any case, this doesn't bother me so long as the person isn't all butt hurt if someone declines to help. And they better damn well feed me beer and pizza or something. :-)
I'm 31 and single and living in a 450 square foot apartment, and cannot afford movers. Friends and family it is.
That's a completely different story than 35, married, 2 kids, and moving from 2500sq ft to 4000sq ft!
I'd happily help in your situation. Generally 450sq ft means you're not carrying a ridiculously heavy king size bed, huge sectional, formal dining room table, etc. That scale of so move is reasonable for friends and family.
We did move recently & friends helped move some stuff, but it was all totes that were in storage. No furniture. Friends were over seeing the new place and offered to run over to the old place and get some stuff. We didn't ask.
Yeah, at that stage in life, you can ask for appropriate help. Like "can you switch carpool days with me?" or "could you watch Suzy while we move and I'll take Katie for a playdate the next weekend?"
My parents came to "help us move" and we hired movers anyway. Honestly I was just annoyed that they were around, LOL. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WANT TO PUT THE MUGS YET, MOM, GET OFF MY BACK!
We do it all or hire movers, yet we have helped others multiple times to move. Your DH is being shamed into helping and I bet the other guys would love one of the men to say fuck it.
I don't think it's age as much as circumstance. I helped my 36 year old single female friend move a few months ago because movers were not an option on her budget and she needed help. A couple of friends helped me last time I moved for similar reasons.
A family of 4 with resources? Hell no. I don't even want to move myself, let alone someone else.
I'm torn on this. I won't ever ask anyone to help us move again; we have used movers for our last three moves. I hate helping people move.
But, some people can't afford movers. My sister is moving in a few weeks and they are asking friends and family for help. It would cost them $800-1,000 to hire movers and they are a 1-income family (BIL is a teacher, so they don't make much) with an autistic child and a newborn. They just don't have the finances for movers. DH and I will gripe a bit at home but will suck it up and help out.
These people, upgrading their house? Hire movers. They clearly have the resources.
Sometimes amongst other military spouses we will have unpacking parties. Mostly it's just an excuse to throw all our kids out in the backyard together while we drink wine and half-heartedly unpack a few boxes.
But boxing, carrying, loading, in boxing instead of hiring movers? Newp.
When we moved from VA to OH, I asked DH to get quotes from some guys to load up the container (pod type deal). He said he took care of it. Then 6 of his friends showed up, I was so embarassed. It took all freaking day. We did get pizza and beer. Good beer. Still mortified.
I know I've mentioned this before, but friends of ours asked everyone to help them move into their new home. Their $700k home that their late 30s selves earned with their six figure incomes. I laughed and said Fuck no. They were moving from a large five bedroom two story with full basement house with a damn pool table. Hire movers!
It must have taken everyone forever to move that house. So many pick-up loads.
I think the cut off is a combination of age/amount of stuff/income.
I have never helped anyone move, ever. and anytime I have moved, I've done it myself (or in the last case, hired movers).
can't you just say no? I mean, make your H go if he really feels obligated, and then you can redeem yourself by popping over around lunch with take-out for everyone. that's what I would do.
I have friends who are moving at the end of the month and they can't afford movers. they have a 1 year old. I did offer to look after the kid if needed, but explicitly told them I don't pack or move (to avoid them asking, lol).
I'm staying home with DS. But H will go. I think all the other wives are doing the same and only the husbands are expected.
Good move (ha) on offering to babysit for your friends; I'm sure they appreciate it. I didn't even think of that and just assumed the kids' grandparents (all local) will watch them.
Also, I don't want my furniture or walls damaged. And sitting on the couch while the movers move all the crap is bliss.
We moved from a 2000sf house and a storage unit to a 3500sf house with a 3-car garage. Dh was oot. It took 2 crews about 9 hours to move everything and they hustled. They literally moved everything, though, including wrapping furniture, disassembly and reassembly. Worth it!
Hm. We always have friends and family help. Whoever is able, but of course we wouldn't automatically expect anyone to. And we always help friends and family as well. I don't even know of anyone IRL who has hired movers tbh.
It really depends. If someone asks for help to move, I expect everything is packed and ready to go. I really hate it when someone asks and half their stuff isn't even ready to go. I make sure to do the same when asking for help, and don't expect friends/family to help me for free. I'll provide foods/beverages.
Now that DH is military and we move often, I don't mind helping others in need in hopes that when we move and need help, someone will.
No, really, I think it's situational. Personally, I'd prefer to hire movers so that I don't have to herd cats in getting friends together and figure out a day people are available, etc. And so that I don't actually have to lift as much myself, LOL!
But I would definitely help my friends move, and we're all mid-30s to mid-40s. For most of them, the cost of professional movers during the already-expensive process of moving would make a pretty big difference.
Yeah, once we got married we stopped asking and stopped offering. I offer now to "watch kids or animals" but that is about it. I think you guys need to come down with the flu, break a toe or throw your back out.
Also, I don't want my furniture or walls damaged. And sitting on the couch while the movers move all the crap is bliss.
We moved from a 2000sf house and a storage unit to a 3500sf house with a 3-car garage. Dh was oot. It took 2 crews about 9 hours to move everything and they hustled. They literally moved everything, though, including wrapping furniture, disassembly and reassembly. Worth it!
This. My last move before my H passed away he had friends plus paid our restaurant staff to move our stuff. So many things were damaged I almost lost my mind. I had begged him to hire real movers at least for the big stuff, but he insisted it would be fine. I was in tears by the end of the day.
This is a huge bonus. Our movers scraped a wall moving our bed upstairs, and we were able to negotiate a discount, and my H was able to fix it. Good luck getting your friends to eat the cost of helping you move for free! LOL.
No way. This was a college and broke early 20s thing, not a grownup thing. IMO it's rude of them to even ask.
To save a bit of money, my BFF only used movers for the furniture when she bought her house, but she was considerate enough not to ask friends to help her move boxes. I think her dad and brothers ended up helping her, but I'm sure they insisted.