Morbid: burial plots?

[anna7602]

Have you and DH talked about where you'd like to be buried? My parents are immigrants, so we don't really have a "family" burial plot in the U.S. My grandparents both died in exile within a few years of each other and are buried together, but other family members have died in other countries and I'm not even sure how I'd find their graves if my dad doesn't have them written down somewhere.

DH's GM just passed and was buried in the family plot with her parents, grandparents, spouse, etc. DH's parents expect to be buried there as well, which made me wonder what we'll do. It's in this out-of-the-way small rural town I have no connection to (it's not DH's hometown or even his mom's hometown) and can't imagine my descendants coming to visit or upkeep. But it's not like there's somewhere else I really want to be buried...

Do most people make provisions for stuff like this?

[rubytue]

Our plan is cremation and scattered ashes, so it's not an issue.

[expatpumpkin]

My FIL has already purchased an entire section in the mausoleum of a cathedral in DH's hometown. And he's informed us that that's where we (and our future children, and maybe theirs as well?) will be interred. Thanks, FIL!!!

Not sure how my family will feel about this if I were to die young, considering that this is in Mexico...

[mbcdefg]

We've talked about it in recent days since my family is currently going through all this.

We each have a parent and grandparents buried locally, in two separate cemeteries about 15 miles apart.

MH wants to be cremated. And possibly turned into a coral reef.

After things calm down in the coming weeks, we want to sit down and put together packets detailing our wishes and important info to make it a little easier on whoever has to bury us.

[majick143]

I used to work for a company that owns and operates most of the funeral homes and cemeteries in the area and all over the nation actually. It's very common for people to find and purchase their burial plots ahead of time, typically they will also purchase plans that will cover all final expenses including memorial services if they so chose. They can also purchase their cremation plans and there's actually gardens in many cemeteries that are beautiful places for ashes. The reasoning behind the garden is to have a place to go to 'be' with that loved one after they pass. Something harder to accomplish when ashes are scattered, though that's also a super popular option.
The thing about making your arrangements early, is to give your loved ones that will be taking care of all of this easier on them. You get to decide what you would want (though many families discuss this together, since once you're gone, many people don't really care what kind of memorial there is etc) The arrangements and plans are done for your loved ones, less for you. I suppose if you don't have loved ones, it would also be good to have a plan in order so you don't end up as ashes in a cardboard box in a forgotten cupboard at a funeral home (it happens).
Either way, it's a good idea to discuss what your wishes are, if you want to purchase ahead of time and have your plans in order, it will literally save your family 1 to 3 DAYS worth of planning and stress over what to do. Families with plans come in and go over the plan, make the few necessary choices and get on their way. Families without plans often spend a couple of days with the funeral home working through details and figuring out finances.

Also, keep in mind that there's more than just a simple plot in the ground. There are cremations costs, if burial is the option, there is casket and vault costs, memorial services, head stones.... the list could go on and on. Many people think that just because they have a plot, they're ready to go and their family won't have to worry but that's really only about half the battle.

If you're considering it, it's a great thing to do. Funeral homes can walk you through your options. Most funeral homes can also provide you with a booklet that allows you to fill out all of your wishes, yours and your H's, in one place. Keep that and your paperwork for any plots or other plans you've made together and be sure your loved ones knows of it's location. Good luck, this process isn't any easy one but trust me, it's truly wonderful for those you leave behind

[Susie]

Aug 23, 2012 10:13:15 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Our plan is cremation and scattered ashes, so it's not an issue.

+1

If you want to be buried in a particular location it's certainly normal to discuss it and buy plots.

My grandfather bought plots for himself and my grandmother when she died. The headstone he chose has both of their names, and his birthdate. Now that he has remarried I kind of wonder about how that'll go.

[galaxy8227]

We've talked about it after my parents told me they want to be cremated and then have their ashes scattered in Aruba. I had no idea that was what they wanted to do so DH and I sat down and talked about it.

We are going to be buried together in our hometown's cemetery--we'll only buy a 2 plot for ourselves (unless god forbid DS were to die young). I wouldn't want DS and future children to feel they have to be buried with us, they should be able to make their own choices.

DH's grandparetns bought a 3 plot (for themselves and 1 aunt who had some health issues as a child). The aunt is now married and wants to be buried with her husband and there isn't room for him in the plot. Her name is already on the stone (both grandparents are now dead) and she's really upset about the situation and it's caused a lot of family drama. We want to avoid all that

[raangoli]

We've talked about it. We both want to be cremated. For me, it's a religious thing but for MH he says he doesn't want to be in the ground rotting away. My ashes would have to be scattered, but I think MH wants the same. He doesn't want to be put on a shelf or in a mausoleum.

[birdmom]

We have a family plot where we can be buried, but I think I want to be cremated.

[aspentosh]

We have not, but we should. I don't think it's morbid at all. I'd want to know his wishes, just like I'd want him to know mine. No way to do that without talking.