A question about depression

[HoneySpider]

This might be a dumb question, but how do you know if someone is depressed vs just having a tough time, being down in the dumps, etc? 

[CrazyLucky]

There some online tests you can take. One significant factor is the length it's been going on. Everyone has off days/weeks. But not months. Also, did something specific happen? Depression in response to a traumatic event is pretty common, like after a parent passes away. But "unprovoked" depression is less common. Other things are lack of interest in former hobbies or family, sudden weight loss.
Don't know if this is you or a loved one, but if you think it's depression, it's worth checking out. Depression doesn't really get better without help and the sooner you get help, the better. I wish you good luck.

[katiek]

For myself, it was the length of time (over a year, but I should have realized much much sooner) as well as complete disinterest in anything. Reading, movies, TV, hobbies didn't make me happy because I couldn't lose myself in them like I used to.

My doctor had me take a test similar to this: depressionhurts.ca/en/checklist/ so we could compare the severity of my symptoms before and after meds. Taking it could give you an idea of what you (or whoever) is dealing with.

If it is you, don't be like me and wait forever to go to the doctor! I really regret not going much earlier.

[estrellita]

It never goes away. Depression isn't necessarily triggered by an event but it could be. For me it's like katiek, not enjoying things as usual. Basically I'm never just happy. I have good days but it's an overall uncontrollable negative feeling. No matter what I do, it follows me.

[Deleted]

I became depressed after my mom died a few years ago. I was student teaching at the time and would have anxiety attacks every morning. I went to a doctor because I was driving to school one morning and was so stressed and upset that I briefly thought about driving my car into a pole so I could go home. I didn't want to harm myself, but I just wanted a reason to go home and go to bed. I became disinterested in everything and almost withdrew from grad school and student teaching because getting out of bed every morning was so much work.

[bk1]

Length of time is a biggie.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell. When I was in counseling I was always told how awesome I was doing, how logical I was looking at things, etc. But then I would go home and just cry constantly. I am very good at putting up a front. 


For me, depression is:
loosing interest in things I use to like to do/not getting enjoyment out of them anymore
being constantly exhausted
very quick to anger
irrational thoughts (people would be better without me, etc.)
trouble concentrating
isolating myself
purposely causing fights
feeling like I can't control myself


It's all such a rollercoster. I was previously diagnosed with situational depression. I haven't been back to the doctor about it in years. I have been feeling depressed since probably our first loss. The impact of that with the financial strain of carrying two houses was very hard on me. I have been up and down for the past couple years, but by far I have felt the worse from PPD. 

It is just frightening to be in that situation. Feeling out of control is the worse thing. It's hard to deal with. Depression can be confusing as well because suddenly things can be good and then go back to bad without warning. 




ETA:
My worst moments I have had terrible, uncontrollable crying fits where I am shaking all over, heart pounding, crying the hardest I ever have curled up sitting on the floor for like 30 minutes at a time. Typing this all out is really making me think I need to call the doctor.

[wanderingenough]

Hugs to all those that have been in the depths of depression or are still there!

Mine was situational --related to a traumatic experience in college. I knew it was time to get help for myself when, like others said, I stopped caring about things that were previously important to me (class work, job, friendships, etc.).

[estrellita]

Grr app lost my post

suzv I've had similar thoughts, although a long long time ago I used to harm myself. Now I don't do it physically, just mentally.

bk1 I have similar bad times. Shaking, crying, can't breathe, nothing can fix it. Throw in an anxiety attack and I feel sick, scared, and get that sinking feeling in the stomach. These things happen just about daily for me right now.

Mental illness is no joke. Sad thing is a lot of people, myself included, don't get help. It's not easy and doctors usually dismiss it and/or just throw meds at you. It sucks. And a lot of people don't understand it. It's not just complaining/whining. It's serious, horrible thoughts you can't get rid of no matter what. It can be managed, but it takes time and effort to find the right treatment.

[HoneySpider]

Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. I'm not asking about anyone in particular, just something I was wondering. It seems like so many people deal with this.

[luv2rn4fun]

((hugs)) everyone!

bk1- Mine was very similar and very linked to our losses and then post-baby, which was exacerbated with all my mom's health issues and the thought of losing her.

Expanding on the above...I talked to my neighbor (who is a LMFT) when I was concerned about PPD and she observed that it likely wasn't related to postpartum/hormones but more everything that was going on in my life (new baby, SAHM and no longer working which doesn't really fit my over-achiever Type A personality, mom's health, etc). She said that she would clinically diagnose it as situational as I wasn't really isolating myself and still found joy doing things I loved but that I was clearly struggling because of these other factors.

Months later and I would have to agree...most of these things have normalized and now I have many more good days vs bad days (still have bad days here and there but it's not constant, even with all the stuff going on with my mom, neighbor, etc). Also, if I had to classify my situation it would definitely be more PPA which is only a continuation of the anxiety brought on from our losses, during PGAL, etc that was never dealt with. I still get super anxious and am more irritable (esp with DH) than I care to be...I'm sure being tired has a lot to do with it too...going to ask my OB about it when I see her in a couple weeks to see if there's something I can do now/during next pregnancy to prevent feeling like this next time around (although I don't want to take anything that would prevent me from BFing).

[grover]

Mines related mostly to IF but has started to affect other areas of my life. At my appt last week I had to answer a rating scale and then just discussed with the pcp.

[estrellita]

bk1 I just reread your post and saw the part about putting up a front. I'm exactly the same way. I downplay everything so much. Whenever I do get help, I end up being like "I need help... but it's ok. I'll be fine" and make it seem like it's nothing. I feel like that's a common trait with depression. No one ever really knows the severity of it because at least for me, I think subconsciously I don't want to look weak. When I feel weak, I tend to cry without meaning to. It's happened at work a couple times and I hate it!

[awick14]

My depression, comes and goes. I've never treated it with any meds but I will be asking my OB about it later this week.

Edit: I also agree with bk1- I find it was very easy to put up a front IRL, and it's getting harder as the years go on.

[ewall]

For me, it was when I couldn't handle daily tasks without huge effort or getting upset. I was diagnosed in college. I was paralyzed by it - I could not make decisions or go about daily life.

I still struggle with symptoms, but the best way I can explain it is that I now recognize when my thoughts are not necessarily rational. When I know I'm not having a productive "conversation" with myself in my head, I literally tell myself to let it go and move on.

[orval]

I have suspected that my BIL is depressed. How can you suggest someone get help? Any tips?
He has had several events in the past few years that could really throw someone - brother's suicide, mother's death, knee surgery, no job for the last 10 months, dog died, not talking to elderly father. I could go on.
He celebrated a milestone birthday this year. My sister got him this great gift of a class that teaches about all the styles of beer with tastings - not cheap. He refuses to go. Despite loving craft beer, has the time etc. There are plenty more examples but this is a big one.
Anyway, I think he needs some help, be we are at a loss as how to get him there.

[bk1]

Oct 15, 2015 7:32:05 GMT -5 orval said:

I have suspected that my BIL is depressed. How can you suggest someone get help? Any tips?
He has had several events in the past few years that could really throw someone - brother's suicide, mother's death, knee surgery, no job for the last 10 months, dog died, not talking to elderly father. I could go on.
He celebrated a milestone birthday this year. My sister got him this great gift of a class that teaches about all the styles of beer with tastings - not cheap. He refuses to go. Despite loving craft beer, has the time etc. There are plenty more examples but this is a big one.
Anyway, I think he needs some help, be we are at a loss as how to get him there.

That is so tough.

I would gently try to talk to him. It sounds like he has been through really tough times and it would be extremely difficult for anyone to be able to handle all of that! It's hard to get someone who doesn't want to get help to actually do something about it. Is there anyone who is close to him that has been in this situation before (meaning had depression/depression symptons?) Maybe something like "I've noticed you don't seem to be yourself. Are you doing okay? I've been through/know someone who has been through/thought you might be having some depression. Do you want talk?" and see if maybe he will open up about it. Depression can be so tricky because it makes you feel like things are hopeless and there is no reason to search for help.