WWYD? People asking for money on the street

[7costanza]

I was walking to lunch today and stopped at a crosswalk with a panhandler. I told him sorry, but I don't have anything. He insisted that he didnt want money but just needed a ferry ticket, his back was killing him, etc. I just said sorry again and crossed the street. He was younger (under 30) and didnt appear to be drunk or high. I didn't feel threatened, but was pretty uncomfortable. It was clear he was disgusted with me. I did feel badly for him, but almost never give money to people on the street, with the exception of street performers. Should I have done anything differently? How would you have handled this? I feel like I see this more and more in the city lately.

[fbf2006]

I see this every day. On the street and on the subway. I give to some. Is it that rare in your city?

[carfar]

Lol I lived in San Francisco for 7 years and still am in the city frequently, doesn't faze me. I generally ignore or say sorry, not today and move on. I donate to charities that hopefully make more difference than my dollars will give that one person.

[ECB]

Having lived in the city for 11 years, no, I don't give. And I also don't engage. I just keep walking.

[ijack]

I'm a bleeding heart - I give to some of them in my area when I have cash. I know it's not a scam because they live in a tent down by a creek.

[Deleted]

I don't give money to people in the street and I have 2 stories for you...
1-at my old job I had to walk 2 blocks to the ramp where my car was. I was walking with a CW one day and this man approached us and gave us this story about how he needed money to get a bus ticket to go back to KS because he just found out his sister is very ill and was going to die any day. About 3-4 months later, I was walking to the ramp and the SAME guy approached me and asked for money for a bus ticket because he had to go back to KS because he just found out his sister was sick and was going to die any day. He used the same illness, details etc. My guess was there was no sister and no bus pass.
2-a friend of mine was in Chicago and someone asked for some money for food. Friend stupidly pulled out his wallet to give him some money. The person punched friend in the face and ran off with his wallet.
So I just don't give money to anyone....

[Deleted]

I never give out money but have a rule for myself that I will also never deny anyone food. If someone says they want money for food, I will offer to walk with them to a nearby restaurant and get them whatever they would like. It has lead to some pretty interesting conversations and experiences - like sitting with the homeless guy at the bar of a fancy restaurant while he ate (the staff wasn't too thrilled with that one) and the two guys who wanted to walk like a 1/2 mile to go to Subway instead of going to any of the nearby and actually good restaurants.

I've worked with the homeless, and the sad reality is that most of the time they are buying alcohol or drugs. This is why I never give money. Before that job I would fall for things like the guy who said he just needed a token for our mass transit system so he could go to the doctor. I bought him one, and later through my job with the homeless learned that this is a very common scam. They get people to give them a token and then they resell it for cash.

I don't want any of my money going to buy someone alcohol or drugs, but I also don't want to deny a hungry person a meal. I did buy a homeless guy a pack of cigarettes once, though, along with a bunch of food from a gas station convenience store. lol.

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2012 14:52:55 GMT -5 ijack said:

I'm a bleeding heart - I give to some of them in my area when I have cash. I know it's not a scam because they live in a tent down by a creek.

Uh, it's a scam if they say they need food but then are taking your money to buy booze, which continues to perpetuate their homelessness.

I also want to add that probably 75% of the time my offer to get them food from literally anywhere they would like within walking distance is turned down.

[mrssavy42112]

I don’t give money to anyone either. I don’t encounter this much anymore, but when I do, I just ignore them. I know too many people who have had negative experiences. Whenever someone says they need money for food to my uncle, he says the same thing ‘oh, let’s go inside here & I’ll get you some food.’ Every.Single.Time the person has cursed him out. They don’t really want food. Only once did another friend try that & the person accepted.

I used to be quite gullible & was in the middle of almost giving a stranger $20 so he could get gas in exchange for a nasty, old, probably broken, cell phone as collateral, when my friend walked out & smacked some sense into me. Now I know better.

[hannamaren]

I used to feel guilty ignoring people because then it was as if they were less than a person, but often they can be rude or scary and often I ignore other people on the street.
My rule "dont talk to strangers"
However, we have a homeless person newspaper and I donate to that one. Then they are seeking help

[agnes]

I never give money.

If their sign says "hungry" or they ask for food, I give it to them. They've always been happy to take it.

[honeybee]

Happens pretty routinely here.

There is one person I give to pretty regularly but not money. He sits out with his dog and I have a bleeding heart for animals. When I shop for my animals I always grab a few extra cans for his dog and drop them off when I see him. After a few times of me doing that we had a conversation. He's always been really appreciative as he can go and get a meal at one of the soup kitchens but he isn't allowed to carry food out for his pooch.

[7costanza]

Ok, these stories are making me feel better! It isn't uncommon to see people asking for money, but they very rarely say anything after I tell them no. This guy was definitely not asking for food, he specifically wanted a ticket for the ferry so hearing that people sell bus tickets for cash makes me glad I didn't get one for him.

[7costanza]

Aug 23, 2012 15:22:22 GMT -5 honeybee said:

Happens pretty routinely here.

There is one person I give to pretty regularly but not money. He sits out with his dog and I have a bleeding heart for animals. When I shop for my animals I always grab a few extra cans for his dog and drop them off when I see him. After a few times of me doing that we had a conversation. He's always been really appreciative as he can go and get a meal at one of the soup kitchens but he isn't allowed to carry food out for his pooch.

I saw a guy with a cat on the street in NYC once, I did give him $5 and then cried for the next like 5 blocks lol

[mrssavy42112]

Aug 23, 2012 15:28:21 GMT -5 7costanza said:

Aug 23, 2012 15:22:22 GMT -5 honeybee said:

Happens pretty routinely here.

There is one person I give to pretty regularly but not money. He sits out with his dog and I have a bleeding heart for animals. When I shop for my animals I always grab a few extra cans for his dog and drop them off when I see him. After a few times of me doing that we had a conversation. He's always been really appreciative as he can go and get a meal at one of the soup kitchens but he isn't allowed to carry food out for his pooch.

I saw a guy with a cat on the street in NYC once, I did give him $5 and then cried for the next like 5 blocks lol

I got so upset once when I saw what was very clearly a homeless man, prancing down the street with a very clean & incredibly excited puppy. There is no way that puppy belonged to him. The stupid owner must’ve tied him to a post & gone into a store. I felt so horrible, knowing that not only was the puppy separated from its owner, but now will most likely live a terrible life. I was a mess after that one.

[ijack]

Aug 23, 2012 14:59:30 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

Aug 23, 2012 14:52:55 GMT -5 ijack said:

I'm a bleeding heart - I give to some of them in my area when I have cash. I know it's not a scam because they live in a tent down by a creek.

Uh, it's a scam if they say they need food but then are taking your money to buy booze, which continues to perpetuate their homelessness.

I also want to add that probably 75% of the time my offer to get them food from literally anywhere they would like within walking distance is turned down.

it's not a scam if I don't care if they buy drugs or alcohol. If I was homeless I'd want to be on a mind altering substance as well.

[honeybee]

Aug 23, 2012 15:33:37 GMT -5 mrssavy42112 said:

Aug 23, 2012 15:28:21 GMT -5 7costanza said:

I saw a guy with a cat on the street in NYC once, I did give him $5 and then cried for the next like 5 blocks lol

I got so upset once when I saw what was very clearly a homeless man, prancing down the street with a very clean & incredibly excited puppy. There is no way that puppy belonged to him. The stupid owner must’ve tied him to a post & gone into a store. I felt so horrible, knowing that not only was the puppy separated from its owner, but now will most likely live a terrible life. I was a mess after that one.

aw, thats sad.

This one is definitely his. They seem pretty inseparable. My fiance is a cop and knows the guy as well. During the winter months he's often trying to get him to head into the shelter for the night but won't since they won't allow his dog in.

[agnes]

Last week on the radio there was an LA county officer talking about how some homeless people just borrow dogs for when they panhandle. It brings in more money apparently.

[winnied]

I give food.

I know everyone has their own anecdotes and everyone wants to help people. I just can't give money. I have a few relatives who have been homeless and knowing their circumstances, I can't in good conscience give them money. I try to give food or at least gift cards for restaurants like Subway. Even if someone doesn't say they want food, they usually won't throw out the food you give them.

[315bride]

I don't give to panhandlers. Most of the NYC panhandlers are scammers. Most make and have more $$$ than the people giving to them.

[7costanza]

Aug 23, 2012 15:48:45 GMT -5 agnes said:

Last week on the radio there was an LA county officer talking about how some homeless people just borrow dogs for when they panhandle. It brings in more money apparently.

I hate people. This just disgusts me.

[bqbride]

Unfortunately, I see this all the time. I smile, say no, and keep moving. I donate to a local charity that makes far better use of they money, and helps far more people, than I can by giving it to people on the street. I feel badly for the person asking, but I don't feel badly for not giving them any money.

[stingsharkruns]

I used to feel really bad for one guy that stood in the same place everyday.. but he's been there everyday for the last 2 years.. He only had one leg at first, and sometime in the last 6 months he got a prosthetic leg... I don't feel bad anymore.

[aspentosh]

Maybe I am heartless, but I don't give money and I don't feel bad about not giving money.

[So_Fetch]

The ones with pets are the ones that make me more willing to give. My husband has talked to a couple of the guys and one said that he gets food and toys for the dog all the time (more often than he gets food for himself). I don't feel sorry for the dogs - they are probably getting just as much love with a homeless owner (not leaving the pup at home for 9 hours every day to work).

I stopped and bought some lunch for a guy with a dog - I bought like a sandwich and chips and a bottle of water and gatorade plus a toy and treats for the dog - and put it in a reusable shopping bag. The guy was very thankful and took the time to show his pup the toys and treats before eating his sandwich. I cried the rest of the way home.

I may be gullible or a sucker, but it makes me feel good to believe I helped in some way.

[basilosaurus]

This thread is really disheartening. I get not giving money, but to avoid eye contact? Would you avoid eye contact with anyone else on the street? Just because they're homeless doesn't mean they're not human.

I've volunteered with some orgs that work with homeless/formerly homeless, and pretty much universally they say the worst part was how dehumanized they felt, that people treated them as though they were invisible.

[gumi]

I have a friend who used to be homeless and she said the best thing in the world at the time was a pair of new socks. So, I keep packages of unopened socks in my car and when I see someone panhandling, I give them a package of socks.

If they are truly in need, they get really excited and thank me profusely.

I really do not carry around cash - I have no need for cash. So, if they dont want socks, they dont get anything!

Also, if they are in front of a gas station, I will buy them something, like nuts and water, and bring it out.

[definitelyO]

I respond the same way you did. sometimes I give money. depends on my mood to tell you the truth.

We were driving home the other night a girl was holding a sign that said "hungry. need food" 6yr old DS says - mom, did you see that sign, she's hungry and needs food. we should give her food. I told him we didn't have any food in the car. he replies - well then we should give her some money so she can get something to eat. aw. (but no, I did not turn around)

[laptopvixen]

Aug 23, 2012 16:29:39 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

This thread is really disheartening. I get not giving money, but to avoid eye contact? Would you avoid eye contact with anyone else on the street? Just because they're homeless doesn't mean they're not human.

I've volunteered with some orgs that work with homeless/formerly homeless, and pretty much universally they say the worst part was how dehumanized they felt, that people treated them as though they were invisible.

I will avoid eye contact, I live in a city and if you engage in any way it's harder to walk away.

I will sometimes give money, I don't care what they spend it on.

I will always give a cigarette and a light if they ask for one.

I will give food or water if I have it.

I have purchased things at Target when I've seen people on my way there and then dropped it off with them on my way back.

I give money to Philabundance, and prefer not to give money directly to panhandlers, because I feel like it perpetuates the situation.

Some of them have been really nasty. Some are really nice.

I hate the ones that sarcastically say, "god bless you," when you walk past and don't engage. That makes me want to kick them in the balls.

I gave money to a kid while I was driving once because he was so impressed that "a lady like me" would be blasting Eminem in her car. I told him he shouldn't judge people by appearance and gave him $5.

It's complicated. If I "made eye contact" (literally or figuratively) with every fucked up thing I see living in the city, I'd be a wreck inside and I'd have 100 cats.

[thumper55]

I rarely give cash for reasons some other ppl already gave.

If I see someone on the freeway on/off ramp, I usually give them some bars that I have in my car. I always keep a stash of food for myself (crackers, granola bars, etc)

there was a man outside of a grocery store asking for money. I offered to buy him food and he said ok. So I bought him some items from inside.

There was a man inside a variety store asking if I could buy him some stuff when I paid for my stuff (he did not ask for cash) . I bought him soda, candy, and hygiene products (mouthwash, toothpaste, etc)