I don't know about "sparing her the pain of menstruation", but it seems keeping her this size is really a benefit to her as she can remain in her own home, with her own family caring for her. This was obviously a decision made from a place of love, in an effort to increase quality of life. not sure I understand the hysterectomy, but the growth attenuation seems like it could really be a positive for her.
I am more okay with the growth stuff than the hysterectomy.
Our country has a terrible history of forced sterilization on women we deem not competent to be mothers. This is a very slippery slope and I for one don't want to go down it again.
If this is the same story I read a few months ago; I agree with the others - I can't even begin to judge if it is the best decision b/c it's just so complicated. Assuming this is what their medical team advised, I'd go with it.
I am more okay with the growth stuff than the hysterectomy.
Our country has a terrible history of forced sterilization on women we deem not competent to be mothers. This is a very slippery slope and I for one don't want to go down it again.
This was my biggest hang up. I get it in theory but you made a good point. Does the hysterectomy not cause menopause? I feel like that would be very uncomfortable also. Surgery recovery must have been painful.
It sounds like DS2 has more tone than this girl, he can hold his head, sit up and crawl but has very weak core strength. He only weighs 30 pounds and is 32 inches. I still have trouble lifting him sometimes. Moving him in and out of the tub is difficult and thankfully we are using my old dropside crib or I wouldn't be able to get him out of bed.
Post by penguingrrl on Oct 28, 2015 8:44:01 GMT -5
I can't judge their choices as it's something I have never dealt with. I do wonder whether many of these decisions are for her sake or for theirs and Imm not sure how I feel about their decision making process. I can absolutely see why they want to hold on to her for as long as they can and having her small assists with them being able to avoid putting her in a long term care facility or finding private care round the clock.
But I do worry about the question of her bodily autonomy.
The more I think about this the more it upsets and confuses me. I am pro choice because I believe ever woman's body is hers to make her own choices about.
In this case can this child really make any choices? No probably not. However it still feels off to me and not okay to sterilize someone without their consent or knowledge.
The more I think about this the more it upsets and confuses me. I am pro choice because I believe ever woman's body is hers to make her own choices about.
In this case can this child really make any choices? No probably not. However it still feels off to me and not okay to sterilize someone without their consent or knowledge.
This is kind of where I am with the hysterectomy. She really can't consent to anything, but does that make it right? I just don't know.
The more I think about this the more it upsets and confuses me. I am pro choice because I believe ever woman's body is hers to make her own choices about.
In this case can this child really make any choices? No probably not. However it still feels off to me and not okay to sterilize someone without their consent or knowledge.
This is kind of where I am with the hysterectomy. She really can't consent to anything, but does that make it right? I just don't know.
My in laws decided that 7 years ago my sil would have a hysterectomy. She's 23 with down syndrome. She started her menstrual cycle at 13. She could not grasp the concept as to why she was bleeding every month and why she needed to wear pads and wouldn't change them. This took away her independence. Her development is that of a 6-8 year old. Plus there are sick abusive people out there. What would happen If she would ever have been abused and ending up pregnant? She has a heart condition. Chances are she would have died or at the very least had terrible life threatening conditions during pregnancy. She couldn't consent but as her parents and guardians they needed to make that decision for her.
This is kind of where I am with the hysterectomy. She really can't consent to anything, but does that make it right? I just don't know.
My in laws decided that 7 years ago my sil would have a hysterectomy. She's 23 with down syndrome. She started her menstrual cycle at 13. She could not grasp the concept as to why she was bleeding every month and why she needed to wear pads and wouldn't change them. This took away her independence. Her development is that of a 6-8 year old. Plus there are sick abusive people out there. What would happen If she would ever have been abused and ending up pregnant? She has a heart condition. Chances are she would have died or at the very least had terrible life threatening conditions during pregnancy. She couldn't consent but as her parents and guardians they needed to make that decision for her.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
My in laws decided that 7 years ago my sil would have a hysterectomy. She's 23 with down syndrome. She started her menstrual cycle at 13. She could not grasp the concept as to why she was bleeding every month and why she needed to wear pads and wouldn't change them. This took away her independence. Her development is that of a 6-8 year old. Plus there are sick abusive people out there. What would happen If she would ever have been abused and ending up pregnant? She has a heart condition. Chances are she would have died or at the very least had terrible life threatening conditions during pregnancy. She couldn't consent but as her parents and guardians they needed to make that decision for her.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
A newborn cannot make a decision, that is why there are guardians to make those decisions. My SIL can not and will never understand what it takes to make this decision, therefore it is up to the guardians to keep her safe and as healthy as possible. An IUD is not 100% or safe for everyone. They made the best choice possible for their family. It wasn't an easy one.
Also, imo stunting growth and all the adverse effects that can have on the human body is a much bigger deal then removing a body part that could kill someone should they get pregnant from abuse. And is a pretty common procedure.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
A newborn cannot make a decision, that is why there are guardians to make those decisions. My SIL can not and will never understand what it takes to make this decision, therefore it is up to the guardians to keep her safe and as healthy as possible. An IUD is not 100% or safe for everyone. They made the best choice possible for their family. It wasn't an easy one.
Also, imo stunting growth and all the adverse effects that can have on the human body is a much bigger deal then removing a body part that could kill someone should they get pregnant from abuse. And is a pretty common procedure.
But, to each their own.
But she's not a newborn she's an adult. Like I said I think it's a very slippery slope and I don't like it. My SIL is bi polar and off her meds. My in laws are trying to get he declared incompetent so they can essentially force her to be hospitalized they will have guardianship of her. Should they also have the right to make this choice?
Like I said I don't know what I would do but I don't like forced sterilization at all.
A newborn cannot make a decision, that is why there are guardians to make those decisions. My SIL can not and will never understand what it takes to make this decision, therefore it is up to the guardians to keep her safe and as healthy as possible. An IUD is not 100% or safe for everyone. They made the best choice possible for their family. It wasn't an easy one.
Also, imo stunting growth and all the adverse effects that can have on the human body is a much bigger deal then removing a body part that could kill someone should they get pregnant from abuse. And is a pretty common procedure.
But, to each their own.
But she's not a newborn she's an adult. Like I said I think it's a very slippery slope and I don't like it. My SIL is bi polar and off her meds. My in laws are trying to get he declared incompetent so they can essentially force her to be hospitalized they will have guardianship of her. Should they also have the right to make this choice?
Like I said I don't know what I would do but I don't like forced sterilization at all.
The girl in the article has the development of a newborn, that's why I added that. I don't see it as forced when she can't argue against it. It was a decision made by a parent. But I do agree, I obviously have no idea what I would do in that situation and pray I never will be. Definite slippery slope. I just wanted to share my story since I actually know people who have had to go through (at least a small part) the same decision making as the parents in the article.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
A newborn cannot make a decision, that is why there are guardians to make those decisions. My SIL can not and will never understand what it takes to make this decision, therefore it is up to the guardians to keep her safe and as healthy as possible. An IUD is not 100% or safe for everyone. They made the best choice possible for their family. It wasn't an easy one.
Also, imo stunting growth and all the adverse effects that can have on the human body is a much bigger deal then removing a body part that could kill someone should they get pregnant from abuse. And is a pretty common procedure.
But, to each their own.
I think there are other decisions that could be made IF she was abused and became pregnant that would not aggravate her heart anymore then a sterilization surgery. I believe in the right to self determination as much as possible. While cognitively she may think like a 6-8 yr old, she doesn't need to be treated like a small child. *
*I am not saying your family didn't do this and it wasn't a discussion had with everyone involved.
My in laws decided that 7 years ago my sil would have a hysterectomy. She's 23 with down syndrome. She started her menstrual cycle at 13. She could not grasp the concept as to why she was bleeding every month and why she needed to wear pads and wouldn't change them. This took away her independence. Her development is that of a 6-8 year old. Plus there are sick abusive people out there. What would happen If she would ever have been abused and ending up pregnant? She has a heart condition. Chances are she would have died or at the very least had terrible life threatening conditions during pregnancy. She couldn't consent but as her parents and guardians they needed to make that decision for her.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
So what if your daughter said she didn't like needles and didn't want to receive vaccines anymore? Would you say it's your body you can do what you wish?
As a teen I had terrible periods. Very heavy bleeding and cramps so bad I vomited from pain. I went on birth control because of the severity and got bad side effects from that too. I could not imagine changing making my daughter go through that/change super absorbancy pads hourly for my child who couldn't grasp what was going on and never could.
Sometimes we have to make decisions for our children when they are too young to make a rational informed choice. The same is true for parents of adult children that will always have a child's mentality. I can't say I would do it for sure because that situation is unfathomable but I can't judge it either.
Nope I am sorry I am not okay with this. My 6-8 year old daughter absolutely has choices about her body.
It is not okay to make these choices for others. Get her an IUD they suppress her period and make it so she won't get pregnant. Explain it to her in developmentally appropriate terms.
So what if your daughter said she didn't like needles and didn't want to receive vaccines anymore? Would you say it's your body you can do what you wish?
As a teen I had terrible periods. Very heavy bleeding and cramps so bad I vomited from pain. I went on birth control because of the severity and got bad side effects from that too. I could not imagine changing making my daughter go through that/change super absorbancy pads hourly for my child who couldn't grasp what was going on and never could.
Sometimes we have to make decisions for our children when they are too young to make a rational informed choice. The same is true for parents of adult children that will always have a child's mentality. I can't say I would do it for sure because that situation is unfathomable but I can't judge it either.
There is a huge difference between vaccines and sterilizing someone without their knowledge.
Like I said I am not judging but I don't like it at all. I can see it in this case and it does seem reasonable, but where does that end? Adults with disabilities have the right to bodily autonomy just like you and I do.
So what if your daughter said she didn't like needles and didn't want to receive vaccines anymore? Would you say it's your body you can do what you wish?
As a teen I had terrible periods. Very heavy bleeding and cramps so bad I vomited from pain. I went on birth control because of the severity and got bad side effects from that too. I could not imagine changing making my daughter go through that/change super absorbancy pads hourly for my child who couldn't grasp what was going on and never could.
Sometimes we have to make decisions for our children when they are too young to make a rational informed choice. The same is true for parents of adult children that will always have a child's mentality. I can't say I would do it for sure because that situation is unfathomable but I can't judge it either.
There is a huge difference between vaccines and sterilizing someone without their knowledge.
Like I said I am not judging but I don't like it at all. I can see it in this case and it does seem reasonable, but where does that end? Adults with disabilities have the right to bodily autonomy just like you and I do.
Yes, there's a difference between vaccines vs a hysterectomy. I can see only negatives from a profoundly disabled person menstruating, no positives. I agree that it's a slippery slope though.