My dad's mom doesn't particularly like me. My parents got divorced when I was 7 and she said a lot of really shitty things about my mom in front of me. I wasn't terribly nice to her about it, but I was 7 and obviously didn't have a good handle on how to deal with someone talking shit about my mom. Throughout my entire life, she's never once tried to be the bigger person by apologizing or acting like we were past whatever happened when I was a kid. There really wasn't anything I could do right when we would go on family trips to visit my grandparents. If I was reading, I wasn't social enough, but if I tried to engage I was told not to interrupt while the adults were talking. There are, of course, many more examples.
Anyway, I haven't seen her in a few years and basically have no relationship with her. It's completely fine. I honestly have no animosity toward her. She's just a random relative who I don't really know. She had yet to acknowledge my son until today. I received a card in the mail from her saying that she'll be in town (visiting my aunt) and she'd like to see 'all three of us' if we're able to make it work. I'm irked that she sent something in the mail instead of just calling me. I'm also irked that she has not a care for me, but wants to see my kid. Like, why should he matter if I don't? (I know that's not really logical and I understand why she wants to see him.)
I've already emailed her (as she requested in her note) and will set up a time to see her so she can meet DS, but I'm mostly annoyed that I'm going to give up a weekend afternoon to spend time with someone who isn't interested in seeing me at all.
Also, I'm not really up for flames tonight, so if you're giving those out, hold onto them for another time for me.
Post by aussiecrush on Oct 27, 2015 22:08:24 GMT -5
My in laws will never meet DS2. They are hateful, hurtful people and they don't get access to my kids. Do what makes sense to you but please don't feel like you have to do this.
Eh. My dad is close to her and I really love my dad. He would probably understand, but would be very disappointed if I didn't see her. Even still, I'm not sure I wouldn't see her. This is probably the only time she'll meet DS, as I can't really think of a reason why she'll have the opportunity to see him again. Whatever.
I hope it goes well for you. I would have done the same thing. Meet somewhere where it is easy to cut things short and leave if she is nasty even once. Can you meet in the morning, so at least it doesn't take up the bulk of a day?
Sometimes people change as they get older, realize their time is almost up, and they've hurt people along the way. Maybe you'll find that to be true. If not, you'll know how to respond if she reaches out again.