Discuss (warning child death)

[Kcthepouchh8r]

ktla.com/2015/10/28/parents-allow-5-year-old-to-choose-heaven-or-hospital/

[mamaalysson]

Why are stories like this used for discussion fodder? As with the story of the girl yesterday, these parents are in a unique and horrifying situation, and are making the best decisions for their children. It is not up to us to pick apart or analyze their reasoning. My thoughts are with them, and I can't begin to imagine the pain they are in.

[andrewsgal]

I have no idea what I would do in this situation.

[quesyrah]

Again, not judging. I haven't been in their shoes and don't know everything they've been through.

Adults can decide when enough is enough and they don't want to suffer anymore. I don't know that a child has the capability to really understand the choice that they're making. But at the same time, should a parent have to continually subject their terminal child to treatments that are just barely keeping them alive? That's torture for everyone involved.

5 is a little young, but I don't think that involving the child going though the treatments in the decision process is a bad thing.

[penguingrrl]

In this case it sounds like the parents have made a reasonable and thought out decision, especially with their inclusion of their daughter in it. I would feel differently if she weren't terminal, but once a patient is terminal I think their wishes are what matters most. The medical team supports the parents decision based on their knowledge of how sick this child is. It sounds like they have all come to terms with the impossible and are letting her make decisions for how to most happily spend what time she has left.

[usm]

This is very similar to DS2's disease. H and I have had many conversations about when enough is enough. He has fought his entire life and when do we say rest or do we look at it as he has fought, he is strong we should not give up on him.

I wish he could tell me but honestly I think he would make the same choice. If the parents decided to start hospice care no one would think twice, I think it is wonderful they allowed their child to make decisions about her body. I am sure they wouldn't have presented the choice if it wasn't a realistic concern.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Oct 28, 2015 14:43:14 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

Why are stories like this used for discussion fodder? As with the story of the girl yesterday, these parents are in a unique and horrifying situation, and are making the best decisions for their children. It is not up to us to pick apart or analyze their reasoning. My thoughts are with them, and I can't begin to imagine the pain they are in.

I find others perspective on what's going on in the world interesting. Obviously I'm human and feel sadness in these heartbreaking stories and wish these families didn't have to make such gut wrenching decisions. I'm not trying to pick apart their reasoning and judge them.

[amynumbers]

I am a little torn.

I generally feel they are making the "right" decision -- as in the one I agree with, the one that spares their child the least amount of agony, and the one that seems to be based on science and facts.

I think the asking the girl stuff is total BS.  She is 4/5? Come the fuck on now -- she has no idea what any of this means.  I think you have a set a grieving parents who are looking for any possible way to find even an iota of comfort in an incredibly shitastic situation, and for them believing that this kid is enlightened enough to make this choice somehow does that. It relieves them of the burden of a decision no parent ever wants to make, in some small way.

[jag01]

I agree that most 4/5 year olds don't know the extent of what death or dying really means. But this little girl isn't your typical little girl. Her parents have most likely talked to her extensively about it. She probably has a better understanding of dying than most children her age and older. My heart breaks for these people. I couldn't imagine talking to my children about their own death.

[NandaB]

Oct 28, 2015 16:53:44 GMT -5 usm said:

This is very similar to DS2's disease. H and I have had many conversations about when enough is enough. He has fought his entire life and when do we say rest or do we look at it as he has fought, he is strong we should not give up on him.

I wish he could tell me but honestly I think he would make the same choice. If the parents decided to start hospice care no one would think twice, I think it is wonderful they allowed their child to make decisions about her body. I am sure they wouldn't have presented the choice if it wasn't a realistic concern.

I am so sorry you guys are even having to think about this. It breaks my heart for your family. So seem to have such a calm, positive outlook on everything you have been dealt and I just want you to know I'm thinking about you guys.

[usm]

Oct 29, 2015 16:16:05 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Oct 28, 2015 16:53:44 GMT -5 usm said:

This is very similar to DS2's disease. H and I have had many conversations about when enough is enough. He has fought his entire life and when do we say rest or do we look at it as he has fought, he is strong we should not give up on him.

I wish he could tell me but honestly I think he would make the same choice. If the parents decided to start hospice care no one would think twice, I think it is wonderful they allowed their child to make decisions about her body. I am sure they wouldn't have presented the choice if it wasn't a realistic concern.

I am so sorry you guys are even having to think about this. It breaks my heart for your family. So seem to have such a calm, positive outlook on everything you have been dealt and I just want you to know I'm thinking about you guys.

Thank you that really means so much. the calm comes and goes and I'm sure my husband would think differently most of the time. It makes it easier that we are so busy with appointments and life and JH is such a character still it's easy to get caught up in life.