What about the kids? This must be super hard for them.
They're having an easier time than I anticipated they would. They're doing really well with our custody split (50/50) and they adore bff/bf. They're in counseling and their therapist said they are doing exceptionally well and she has no concerns. ExH and I are really focusing on keeping the kids our priority and the therapist said it shows.
Are your kids moving to the farm with you/switching schools, etc.?
We have 50/50 custody so they're with me half the time and with their dad half the time. They're excited about living on the farm! They're in the same schools this year as last, but next year we have to decide where they'll go.
Well you were posting in, like, July about it being platonic so we've got 3 months-ish for initial confession, leaving ExH and buying a farm. So what's the timeline?
June was the revelation. Spent a few weeks soul searching. Left ex in July. Divorce final in October. Closing on farm in November.
That's fast. In VA, if you have kids you have to be separated for a year before you can be divorced. My poor BFF (platonic and female lol) has had a year of hell waiting for that time period to be up.
Damn, man. I feel like this is a lot of change for everyone in a very short period of time. I mean, romantic and all, but I'd be totally lying if I said this didn't make me kind of go "Eeeeeeeeesh."
That's fast. In VA, if you have kids you have to be separated for a year before you can be divorced. My poor BFF (platonic and female lol) has had a year of hell waiting for that time period to be up.
I"m glad I dont live in VA.
We also filed jointly for divorce, which means we were both petitioners instead of one of us as petitioner and one respondent. We agreed on all of our terms and custody arrangements.
That it's you makes me go "eesh" even more, honestly; this isn't normally very like you. I'm very, very glad if you're happy; but I'd feel remiss if I didn't tell you you should really slow down here.
I appreciate the concern, but what is "normally very like me" would be to say nothing about anything I do or feel to anyone, so much so that the people closest to me feel hurt that I have kept things from them. I'm trying hard to be more open with the people who care about me so that they really CAN see the real me.
I appreciate the concern, but what is "normally very like me" would be to say nothing about anything I do or feel to anyone, so much so that the people closest to me feel hurt that I have kept things from them. I'm trying hard to be more open with the people who care about me so that they really CAN see the real me.
I mean, I do get it; but can you sort of see why people would think this was a lot in a very short period of time? Regardless, I'm glad you're happy.
I didnt mean to sound like I didnt understand why people think it's a lot in a short time frame. I do get it. It's shocking. I know it is. And I am glad to have people in my life who care enough about me to be concerned.
That it's you makes me go "eesh" even more, honestly; this isn't normally very like you. I'm very, very glad if you're happy; but I'd feel remiss if I didn't tell you you should really slow down here.
I didnt mean to sound like I didnt understand why people think it's a lot in a short time frame. I do get it. It's shocking. I know it is. And I am glad to have people in my life who care enough about me to be concerned.
Are you talking to someone? It might be a good idea, just to have someone objective to whom to talk about all of this.
Yes, I've been seeing a therapist/counselor since I decided to leave my ex. It's been very helpful.
Thank you for answering my incredibly fucking nosy questions Good luck to you. We got six acres a few years ago, and chickens are highly recommended, but do NOT get goats until you have time and money to invest in insanely good fencing. Also, if you get milk goats, you will never be able to take a vacation except for a few months in the winter when they're bred. I recommend pigs instead. They're just as cute and smart, but you don't have to milk them, and you can eat them in the fall so you don't have to deal in the winter.
Thank you for answering my incredibly fucking nosy questions Good luck to you. We got six acres a few years ago, and chickens are highly recommended, but do NOT get goats until you have time and money to invest in insanely good fencing. Also, if you get milk goats, you will never be able to take a vacation except for a few months in the winter when they're bred. I recommend pigs instead. They're just as cute and smart, but you don't have to milk them, and you can eat them in the fall so you don't have to deal in the winter.
We are getting chickens in the spring, and we are putting up fencing for goats early this spring for two doelings that we hope to bring home this May/June. We are able to start from scratch on the fencing so we're not cutting any corners. We want the goats for farm pets and we wont be breeding/milking them, and our neighbors have already offered to help with animals when we travel. We just really love goats!
Thank you for answering my incredibly fucking nosy questions Good luck to you. We got six acres a few years ago, and chickens are highly recommended, but do NOT get goats until you have time and money to invest in insanely good fencing. Also, if you get milk goats, you will never be able to take a vacation except for a few months in the winter when they're bred. I recommend pigs instead. They're just as cute and smart, but you don't have to milk them, and you can eat them in the fall so you don't have to deal in the winter.
Thank you for answering my incredibly fucking nosy questions Good luck to you. We got six acres a few years ago, and chickens are highly recommended, but do NOT get goats until you have time and money to invest in insanely good fencing. Also, if you get milk goats, you will never be able to take a vacation except for a few months in the winter when they're bred. I recommend pigs instead. They're just as cute and smart, but you don't have to milk them, and you can eat them in the fall so you don't have to deal in the winter.
I'd be fine depending on how far away a decent grocery store is...I'm finding that to be of real importance as I get older.
That said, it sounds like some big changes for you...weather (do you mind snow/winter?)...free time (what are your hobbies? would you be willing to try new ones?)...cooking (do you like to cook?)...etc.
Unless you are ready for a big lifestyle change, I wouldn't do it.
I'd be fine depending on how far away a decent grocery store is...I'm finding that to be of real importance as I get older.
That said, it sounds like some big changes for you...weather (do you mind snow/winter?)...free time (what are your hobbies? would you be willing to try new ones?)...cooking (do you like to cook?)...etc.
Unless you are ready for a big lifestyle change, I wouldn't do it.
I'd be fine depending on how far away a decent grocery store is...I'm finding that to be of real importance as I get older.
That said, it sounds like some big changes for you...weather (do you mind snow/winter?)...free time (what are your hobbies? would you be willing to try new ones?)...cooking (do you like to cook?)...etc.
Unless you are ready for a big lifestyle change, I wouldn't do it.
LOL! Didn't read the 7 page thread, did ya?? They've moved on!