if you always do dinner -> bed alone HELP

[NandaB]

I need advice. Or tips. Or maybe just a giant glass of wine and a big ass special brownie.

So H got a job, which is awesome because he has been jobless since the beginning of the month. And he is being considered for a manager position at the same place which is a step up from the job he just got. Both of these things are wonderful and I am very grateful. BUT its swing shift, at least for now. Today was 230pm to 3am. So not only will he barely get to see the kids, but i will be solo parenting alllllll day. He usually does bath and bedtime for the big kids mostly on his own, so this is going to be a big adjustment. Help.

What do you do to make things run smoothly? (smoother?) I'm thinking some kind of picture schedule with Velcro or magnets they can put for completing each step? I don't want to introduce rewards for getting ready for bed, because they do it, but I thought a visual schede could help and the putting the stars or whatever could be rewarding enough. I dunno guys, I'm rambling....

[justbecause]

I like the magnets/Velcro so the kids can visualize what's next. I know you don't want to reward them but maybe something like an extra book. We also do pajama races to see who can get their pjs on first.
My father worked swing shift when we were little. My mother says it wasn't so bad. She would make her big meal of the day at lunch and would do errands while my dad was awake in the afternoon.
She would have my brother "help" tuck me in (and my other brother when he was born). Could your big kids be enlisted to "help" with the baby?

I also remember eating a lot of frozen pizza while watching Night Court. But my dad worked that shift for many years and I'm sure my mom had some days where she was just done.

[Deleted]

Bedtime at our house is:

Go potty
Put clothes in laundry while mom gets towels/starts the tub
Bath
Put on pajamas
Brush teeth
Pick a book
Songs
Prayers
Hugs and kisses

Ours are 4 now so they can do almost all of that themselves...but it used to take a lot longer helpeing two babies do it all...

A visual chart is a great idea
Bedtime can be rough because I'm just ready to be done and kids have endless energy of course...but once they're in bed, I've come to really enjoy my evenings by myself.

Good luck!

[Deleted]

I also second a big lunch those days and easy dinner (pbj, hot dogs, quesadillas, etc)

[raraavis28]

My routine is pretty much identical to Sing's but with much kicking and screaming and trying to stall every.single.step. The chart is a good idea....right now I've been relying on the timer a lot, especially for getting the process started. I also have a little song I made up to tell each part of the routine. I feel like these things keep me on track as much as the boys bc lately by the end of the day they just want to keep playing, and I am so done.

As for dinner, the crockpot is my best friend, as are casseroles that make lots of leftovers and at least one "fun dinner" a week (grilled cheese, bfd etc)

And wine is always a good idea:)

[aggiecyd]

I haven't read other responses, but I do dinner & bed solo 5 days a week.
Kids are usually starving when I get home from work so I try to cook a couple of meals on DHs day off so all I have to do is reheat & maybe sauté some veggies.
I use timers A LOT and made DD a magnet chart for bedtime. I'll try to attach a pic.
It's cut down almost all of the struggle and she likes putting the magnets on.


Ok...how do I post a pic again?

[dizzycooks]

I do it alone most nights, sometimes he surprises me and is home in time for stories.

I agree with aggiecyd make meals ahead and reheat. I love my crock pot! Have a clear routine and stick with it. My girls go to bed at the same time. It helps because I'm not doing bedtime all night, but they like to divide and try to make me crazy so I usually put everything in the bathroom and shut the door and sit against it so no one leaves until they're done. I use bedtime stories as a bribe. You only get to choose if you listen otherwise I choose.

[usm]

I do it alone most every night of the week. I have gotten to the point that if H is home it throws me all off. I just start the routine a lot earlier, meal plan and hang on. We eat betwee 5-5:30, I clean up as I go and put most pots and pans in the dishwasher these days. I put C in the shower while I bathe JH and do trach care. He plays in the shower and I give him shampoo and soap throughout and make sure he washes through the glass shower door. Once JH is set, I tell C to get out of the shower and I have laid out his pajamas so we put those on. He has been showering since 3.5-4.

Mine share a room so while C picks out a book, I get JH's night stuff set up then we read one book and go over sight words and lights out around 7:30.

I skip a bath for JH every other day if he hasn't done a lot.

[NandaB]

Thanks for the ideas everyone. I definitely need a better routine. So far there have been 2 of us, so it didn't matter much if they were going back and forth from the bedroom to the bathroom a couple times, but its not efficient and gives N plenty of time to run around the house. We also sometimes set the timer and tell them that the timer means story time, so if they get ready quickly they can play or watch a show until the timer goes off. Maybe I can integrate the chart with earning an extra book if it's before the timer. W is also the adorable wrench in the plan because he is usually still up, by maybe I can bribe them with extra play/tv time so I can put him to sleep first.

[NandaB]

We aren't bath every night people. Even if they've been playing outside (which is mist days, LOL. I pretend its because of Gs eczema but really I'm not that organized. Some days it just gets too late

[jag01]

I do most evenings solo. It's just a matter of finding your groove. 3 baths would be a lot, could you boys one night, girl the next? You got this.

[aggiecyd]

Hope this works. This is DDs chart. I got the board from Michael's, made the chart w/ pics from the internet. Printed it on card stock, laminated it & glitter taped it to the board. We don't do bath every night either, but when we do I bathe them together. We eat, well THEY eat around 4:30-5. Play, set a 5 min timer to clean up & go upstairs. Then the chart kicks in. I get DD in bed, then get DS (15 mos) to sleep. It's a bit chaotic with snuggle time so sometimes I go back in after I put DS down for one-in-one snuggles. 

[jensriot]

I'm alone most weekdays and nights. You do find a groove and I really like your chart idea. I'm probably going to steal it for mornings around here. The best thing for me was getting the bigger kids to be more independent. I have a drawer for each kid (well, box because it's a 4 cube Expedit) in my room. It holds socks, underwear, pjs, whatever things they need when getting ready. I can tell them to get ready for bed and it's all there for easy access. I also do the big girls together on everything I can (teeth, hair, reading, bedtime). They get to play while I get DS ready and in bed. It's routine now, so when he's put in bed, they know it's lights out.

I cook 3 nights during the week and the other two are sandwiches or something. I prep as much as I can during the day when the kids are busy. I do get 2 days with all three in school/preschool and it's heavenly.

[dizzycooks]

Today's a good example of how I help myself during the week, although dh is out of commission so it's a little harder. I chopped all the celery, onions and carrots I'll need for two soups and a pot roast at once. I also froze half of one soup and plan to do the same with the second when it's done. Not needing to make dinner every night is huge and this is a big time saver later. Plus I only have to wash the cutting board once rather than after I make each meal

[quesyrah]

Well, I only have 2. And I've been doing it on my own 5-6 nights a week since DS was born. In fact, the night routine has always gone smoother when DH isn't home lol

4:00- they get a smoothie and a show
5:00-dinner
5:30- DD goes in the bath
5:45- DD in bed
Then DS and I play a board game and do homework. If I have any tasks I really need to get done, he gets computer time (plays starfall) until I'm done.
6:15- DS in bath
6:30-6:45- stories
6:45- DS in bed

The biggest thing that helps is I don't cook dinner every night. I cook up chicken, sausage, etc. on Sunday and freeze and reheat during the week. I add a veggie and a fruit and rice/quinoa/cous cous. I always serve a balanced healthy meal but it's not a gourmet masterpiece. I often chop and prep first thing in the morning and sometimes cook the whole meal during DD's nap.

[NandaB]

Thanks everyone. I'm going to work on a plan and a picture schedule tomorrow.

quesyrah, my kids are finishing dinner when yours are in bed, lol. We usually eat at 630, BUT that wad so H could eat with us. I'm thinking of moving dinner to 6. I shudder to think what time Natalie would get up if she went to bed at 545.

[quesyrah]

Nov 1, 2015 0:28:47 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Thanks everyone. I'm going to work on a plan and a picture schedule tomorrow.

quesyrah, my kids are finishing dinner when yours are in bed, lol. We usually eat at 630, BUT that wad so H could eat with us. I'm thinking of moving dinner to 6. I shudder to think what time Natalie would get up if she went to bed at 545.

My kids have always been early to bed
kids. DS went down later over this past summer but now that he's in school he's back to going to bed early. And since DH is never home for dinner, it's never been a big deal.

[NandaB]

I also love the cook ahead and freeze idea. I think I'm going to make a meal plan with 2 crock pot meals, 2 made ahead things and a easy wildcard (breakfast for dinner, pasta...)

[quesyrah]

Nov 1, 2015 0:30:31 GMT -5 NandaB said:

I also love the cook ahead and freeze idea. I think I'm going to make a meal plan with 2 crock pot meals, 2 made ahead things and a easy wildcard (breakfast for dinner, pasta...)

My goal is simple, balanced and healthy.

If all else fails they will always eat meatballs, frozen peas and pasta lol

[NandaB]

Nov 1, 2015 0:35:29 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Nov 1, 2015 0:30:31 GMT -5 NandaB said:

I also love the cook ahead and freeze idea. I think I'm going to make a meal plan with 2 crock pot meals, 2 made ahead things and a easy wildcard (breakfast for dinner, pasta...)

My goal is simple, balanced and healthy.

If all else fails they will always eat meatballs, frozen peas and pasta lol

Hmm, my goal is fed, bed, wine. I may need to make new friends with lower standards, you're gonna make me look bad

[quesyrah]

Nov 1, 2015 0:48:55 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Nov 1, 2015 0:35:29 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

My goal is simple, balanced and healthy.

If all else fails they will always eat meatballs, frozen peas and pasta lol

Hmm, my goal is fed, bed, wine. I may need to make new friends with lower standards, you're gonna make me look bad

Lol. So is now when I confess that probably once every other week they eat PBJ's on the couch while watching tv? Because sometimes I just can't deal

[NandaB]

Nov 1, 2015 10:18:10 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Nov 1, 2015 0:48:55 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Hmm, my goal is fed, bed, wine. I may need to make new friends with lower standards, you're gonna make me look bad

Lol. So is now when I confess that probably once every other week they eat PBJ's on the couch while watching tv? Because sometimes I just can't deal

Phew! There may be hope yet

[cjcouple]

Just wanted to wish you best of luc . Definitely not an easy schedule. My DHL has had 2nd shift hours (1:30 start) for a few years now. But you'll find your groove.