let's talk potlucks (isn't it about time again?)

[nowa]

Ok -- it's dead horse time for you old-timers.

I have generally found myself firmly in the "potlucks are for when we were in college camp." But, we've now been in our new house for 8 months and have yet to have a house warming or party of any kind other than immediate family. Money is tight (thanks to the new house and related expenses basically) so I can't really imagine that we can throw a proper party, feed people well, etc. for a really long time. So I'm considering throwing a good, old-fashioned, proper potluck. Honestly, I don't think any of our would-be guests would be a offended at all, so I'm not here to ask if this is okay or not. I'm thinking of making it a friends-giving of sorts, which I think makes it more okay too. I'm just getting to the point of realizing that our house is not going to be party-ready anytime soon and we're not able to go all out, and gathering with people is so good for the soul, so IDGAF. PARTY time damn it.

So go ahead, share your opinion. Talk smack. Or not. Just thought of you all when I started considering this idea and here we are. ;-)

[momin2013]

I may be an outlier but I LOVE potlucks. Maybe not with a bunch of total strangers, but with friends and family? No question about it. Go ahead and do it! I think the key is to organize it properly so people RSVP with the type of thing they'd like to bring (like potato/salad/dessert/etc.) so you end up with a good mix of food. As host, I'd probably be inclined to do the main dish/es and have people bring sides, salads and desserts.

We've never had any real "housewarming" party either. It actually never crossed my mind to do, but they're not really a "thing" in our circle, I guess. Neither are potlucks, sadly, but I love them.

[dizzycooks]

I'd totally do it. My family always offers to bring something so I would just plan to make the main dish and have drinks and assign the sides out to everyone else. A few years back we did a chili party and made a huge batch of chili and everyone brought things to go with it. At this point everyone kind of has their 'thing' they always bring so we know there will be chips and dip, veggies, dessert, and a cheese tray.

I'd be totally cool doing that with friends too.

Of course, people need to make sure they prepare their food properly and don't get hair in it, gross.

[Deleted]

Yup I like it and would do it. We are having friends giving again this year because it was so fun last year. Everyone makes something and we all hang out. Enjoy your pot luck!

[cjcouple]

Definitely do as friends giving. Home warming has gift expectations. JM2C

Have fun.

[Deleted]

I guess I'm in the minority here because if a friend of mine had a potluck housewarming I wouldn't even bat an eye to bring food and a gift. Moving is expensive and if it's my friend, I def wouldn't talk trash about it.

[auroraloo]

I would not throw a party for myself (birthday/housewarming/etc) and make it a potluck. If people asked what they could bring, I'd happily give them something.

A bunch of friends getting together for chili and games I would absolutely make a potluck.

[nowa]

I genuinely forgot about the whole gift thing for housewarmings just now. I don't need or want gifts but I do want my house to be warmed by old and new friends. I guess it's semantics, but I won't call it a housewarming lest anyone be offended.

[Deleted]

Only on the bump have I ever heard of people getting offended about a pot luck style party or house warming or whatever. If you have friends like we do it prob shouldn't matter what you call it!

Anyways I was going to suggest you do apps and wine maybe if you want to keep it simple and low budget. My friend did that when she moved and it was a hit. Just wine and crackers/cheese, etc.

[lala]

If you want host a party, go for it.

1. how fancy do you think it needs to be that you can't imagine being able to pay for it for years? You can easily throw a casual party on a budget without it looking cheap.

2. If you are set on the potluck idea I would bill it as a friends giving type thing and I would talk to a few other couples and say, "hey I had this idea, what do you think…" blah blah blah vs. inviting people & telling them to bring X. I would not call it a housewarming or that you really wanted to host your first party or anything like that.

[lala]

Nov 2, 2015 18:44:34 GMT -5 @itsbritt said:

I guess I'm in the minority here because if a friend of mine had a potluck housewarming I wouldn't even bat an eye to bring food and a gift. Moving is expensive and if it's my friend, I def wouldn't talk trash about it.

I would totally side eye an invite to a housewarming that also stated, please bring a dish to share. Or a straight up invite to any party with a written request for food. 

[quesyrah]

My group usually always does potlucks. The host typically provides drinks/alcohol and a main dish. Everyone else brings the rest.

[momin2013]

Nov 3, 2015 2:53:08 GMT -5 runningfish said:

I think the whole "you expect me to bring a side of canned corn and a gift?!?" is strange. How put out are guests by bringing a tray of cookies, especially when they don't have to worry about the rest of the meal?

I think the whole idea of a potluck is not so much that it's so difficult for the host to open a can of corn, but rather the fun of trying various foods made by different people. You get to try new things, get ideas, etc. If potlucks were typically dishes of various items out of a can, I don't think they'd be so popular. At least I know they wouldn't be with me!

[Kcthepouchh8r]

I'm far from the etiquette police but I think expecting guests to make a dish for a group plus buy a housewarming gift is asking a lot.

I agree a friends giving where everyone brings a dish is a great idea.

I also agree hosting a housewarming need not be extra pricey. We often do a large salad and pizzas on the grill for guests and it's low cost. You could make a pot of soup and shepards pie and that wouldn't break the bank as well. Even wine and a cheese plate is fine.

People bring canned corn to potlucks? Wtf?

[lala]

I'm gagging at the canned corn. If that's how you potluck or host a party, you're doing it wrong.

For a true potluck it's about how it comes up. If your group of friends takes turns hosting & you all bring food, great. If you are all chatting one day and all say, "hey, lets have a friends giving! I'm happy to host!" and then it takes off from there - totally cool.

If you send out an evite that says, "come to our house for X party. Please bring a dish to share." No. Not totally cool.

In many families it is traditional to share in preparing holiday meals. I wouldn't call that a potluck, though.

[justbecause]

I agree that there are lots of ways to do a party on a budget. It doesn't need to be a potluck.
Either appetizers and wine or serve a meal like hearty soups, chili, taco bar, pasta, etcetera.
Potluck is also fine but I wouldn't send out invites.

Of course, I've grown up with lots of potluck meals and even the odd potluck wedding here and there.

[momin2013]

I think this is partly social group-specific. If one of our friends sent out an evite saying something like "please join us at our place on X day at Y o'clock and bring a dish to share", I would give no side eyes whatsoever and I would totally look forward to it.

What I would side-eye "a bit" would be if I were invited to a housewarming party and asked to bring something. Don't get me wrong, I'd still happily go, but just might think it was a bit odd. I think it's because a housewarming already assumes guests will bring gifts, so it would be akin to saying, hey, please come to this birthday party/baby shower/wedding, and bring a dish with you too.

[lala]

Nov 3, 2015 8:14:48 GMT -5 runningfish said:

Sigh. I was just oversimplifying how easy it is to make a side.

I do get that. Except if I was bringing a side to someone's house for a dinner I'd take my time to make something nice, not make my quickest, easiest veggie dish. Same when I host a gathering. 

Still, canned corn is gross.

[lala]

Nov 3, 2015 8:05:58 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

What I would side-eye "a bit" would be if I were invited to a housewarming party and asked to bring something. Don't get me wrong, I'd still happily go, but just might think it was a bit odd. I think it's because a housewarming already assumes guests will bring gifts, so it would be akin to saying, hey, please come to this birthday party/baby shower/wedding, and bring a dish with you too.

Exactly why you don't do it. You're inviting someone to celebrate with you. That means you feed them. 

Are you even supposed to throw your own housewarming? I have no idea, we've never had one and haven't been to very many at all. 

[lala]

n/m I looked it up. It is appropriate to throw your own housewarming. Generally you don't host your own party when they are gift-giving events but I think this is the exception? Unlike showers.

[lala]

Nov 3, 2015 8:23:58 GMT -5 runningfish said:

I've only been to three or four housewarming parties so I'm definitely no expert, but none of them had been like a shower. Like, you guys take wrapped up gifts to these things? People always bring wine (I have a girlfriend that ALWAYS brings a candle. Always).

Oh gosh no, I didn't mean like a shower in that aspect. Just in the gift-giving party aspect. 

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Nov 3, 2015 8:16:49 GMT -5 lala said:

Nov 3, 2015 8:14:48 GMT -5 runningfish said:

Sigh. I was just oversimplifying how easy it is to make a side.

I do get that. Except if I was bringing a side to someone's house for a dinner I'd take my time to make something nice, not make my quickest, easiest veggie dish. Same when I host a gathering. 

Still, canned corn is gross.

This. Often I would bring some sort of spicy chicken dip where I'm cooking up a few pounds of meat, shredding it, mixing it up with other ingredients to cook, etc. it's something that costs time and money. I don't personally mind but it is putting other people out to expect both.

[nowa]

Yea, I get both arguments here. But I guess it really all depends on your group of people in the end. In my group, I'm probably one of the few that would consider any sort of potluck a potential faux pas. When I typed my OP I totally forgot that people bring gifts to housewarmings so I guess I won't call it that either way.

And regarding party on a budget, I can't really imagine feeding people well on a budget. Other than ordering a bunch of pizza, what are y'all thinking? And what do you consider budget? I do like the wine and cheese idea, though I'm not sure what time that kind of party would be such that a real dinner wouldn't be necessary? I need help thinking outside the box here. I'm looking at inviting at least 20 people (including us).

I think I'm leaning towards gauging interest in a friends-giving.

[lexus]

Nov 3, 2015 20:52:39 GMT -5 nowa said:

Yea, I get both arguments here. But I guess it really all depends on your group of people in the end. In my group, I'm probably one of the few that would consider any sort of potluck a potential faux pas. When I typed my OP I totally forgot that people bring gifts to housewarmings so I guess I won't call it that either way.

And regarding party on a budget, I can't really imagine feeding people well on a budget. Other than ordering a bunch of pizza, what are y'all thinking? And what do you consider budget? I do like the wine and cheese idea, though I'm not sure what time that kind of party would be such that a real dinner wouldn't be necessary? I need help thinking outside the box here. I'm looking at inviting at least 20 people (including us).

I think I'm leaning towards gauging interest in a friends-giving.

I think for around $100 you could do a taco bar, potato bar or chili bar, salad and apps (veggie tray, chips and dip) and maybe some bigger batch type drinks (water, iced tea, margaritas, etc). World class meal? No but it would be plenty of food for 20 people.

[lala]

Agree with Lexus. Classic BBQ options, a big pork shoulder made into pulled pork & sides are all other options and could still be done for $100ish. Also a brunch would work.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Nov 3, 2015 20:52:39 GMT -5 nowa said:

Yea, I get both arguments here. But I guess it really all depends on your group of people in the end. In my group, I'm probably one of the few that would consider any sort of potluck a potential faux pas. When I typed my OP I totally forgot that people bring gifts to housewarmings so I guess I won't call it that either way.

And regarding party on a budget, I can't really imagine feeding people well on a budget. Other than ordering a bunch of pizza, what are y'all thinking? And what do you consider budget? I do like the wine and cheese idea, though I'm not sure what time that kind of party would be such that a real dinner wouldn't be necessary? I need help thinking outside the box here. I'm looking at inviting at least 20 people (including us).

I think I'm leaning towards gauging interest in a friends-giving.

You could do grilled pizzas and a large salad for ~$50. You could cut up a bunch of veggies/meats like pepperoni, Ham and chicken and let guests choose their own toppings. It's tasty, easy and everyone loves pizza. Easy to modify for diet restrictions like food allergies as well.

Eta I would go for the friendsgiving this time of year but I wouldn't avoid hosting if I couldn't put together a pricey meal either.

[cjcouple]

You could also do pasta, a salad and bread pretty cheaply. Couple lasagnas would be good. You could even do veggie one with caesar salad. Shouldnt be more than $50.