I had a really good comeback about how the last time her husband should have been that concerned with his daughter's vagina was the last time he cleaned a poopy diaper but the character limit got me.
Nah. Obsessing over hymen regardless if it is just the dad or just the mom or just the minister at the local church/tax shelter or a combination of all of the above is all abusive.
Catholic sex ed can be a real trip but I appreciate that my sexuality was in no way tied to my parents. Teaching kids that sex is special and meant to be between a husband and wife might be a bit naive and/or some other things but at least it wasn't creepy. I also never got a shame vibe from it and I feel like I am highly susceptible to Catholic guilt.
ETA: I also appreciate that the lesson was the same for boys and girls.
ur second oldest daughter, Kayla turned 13 years old on November 1. Her feisty attitude, hunger for knowledge, and fearlessness to take on the world are so inspiring. We celebrated her birthday with her favorite meal and a few presents. Then her dad took her for a cup of coffee. He gave her a special gift, a purity ring along with this letter.
In a time where peer pressure is HUGE. Kids can get caught up in situations and moments where they aren’t sure how to respond. Her dad chose to give her a purity ring as an outward symbol of Jesus’ and his love for her during difficult situations.
As parents, we can’t watch our children continuously. As they grow we must teach them skills needed in life, then encourage them to explore the world, while we hope they have knowledge, faith, and the morals we have instilled in them. We have taught our girls to realize it’s their minds that make them beautiful…. not a revealing outfit or their bodies. We have taught our girls to respect themselves enough to wear clothing that is appropriate. No booty shorts here! Just because society has embraced TeenMom on MTV, doesn’t mean that is an acceptable path for a teenager. We are raising our girls to place an importance on education. Marriage and babies come after gaining knowledge and life experiences. We hope this purity ring will be a gentle reminder that TRUE LOVE WAITS!
Happy 13th Birthday, Kayla!
I already clicked. The note says:
I've loved you since the day you were born. Watching you grow into a beautiful young woman over the years has made me proud beyond words. I picked this gift to remind you every time you glance at is of the love I have for you. A physical symbol to show the world that I will protect you as my strong, smart and beautiful daughter.
There is no other man on earth who will ever love you more than I do. This gift should be a constant remind that your heart belong to Jesus and me until your future husband replaces it with a wedding ring because True - Love - Waits!!
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
Rings for girls, swords for boys. No mental imagery there. Nope, none at all....
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
We believe that manhood is passed from the masculine to the masculine,
So, a girls purity is all about their dad and now a sons masculinity is all about the dad too.
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
WHAT THE FUCK?
At least at my church program, boys and girls all got rings.
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
We believe that manhood is passed from the masculine to the masculine,
So, a girls purity is all about their dad and now a sons masculinity is all about the dad too.
So everything is about a man exerting his power of sexuality. Rape culture whatnow?
Why do parents say this?! I mean, way to preemptively ruin all of your child's relationships.
There is no other man on earth who will ever love you more than I do.
No kidding! And I'm sorry, but while my father and husband love me in completely different ways, I absolutely think that they both love me equally, and I don't think that's a naive statement on my part.
So I was not thinking about having sex at 13. I know some girls/boys are, but it seems odd to presume that 13 means she's going to run out and have sex right now unless we lock her down. I guess it's just one more check in the "obsessed with sex" box.
You know these are the people that would happily put a chastity belt on their daughters, if it wasn't straight up abuse. So they have to resort to rings and psychological abuse.
She'll totally be sexing up some boy at Bible college with that ring on and no, she won't be thinking of Daddy. I hope.
We could only hope it's a boy. Because my thought was a teacher. Even if Daddy's not there, she'll be looking for his replacement to love her almost as much as he does. Because that's what these people are doing to their girls.
"Another symbol we presented him with was the sword. At that time the immense sword was almost his height. I explained to him that although he could not wage war right now with this imposing sword, he would grow into the weight of the sword just as he would grow into the weight of manhood. We sensed the incredible privilege and responsibility we have to stand courageously as mighty warriors of God calling our sons to "fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18) for the sake of the cross."
I'll tell you how it would go. She would call us "gross" for insinuating that sexual love was something that was thought about between parents and children, but that fathers and daughters can absolutely be romantic with no ill intentions. And that we're being unfair.
And maybe a bit of "I feel sorry for your children" because if you are okay with them having sex before marriage or wearing revealing clothing, you aren't raising them right.
I'll tell you how it would go. She would call us "gross" for insinuating that sexual love was something that was thought about between parents and children, but that fathers and daughters can absolutely be romantic with no ill intentions. And that we're being unfair.
And maybe a bit of "I feel sorry for your children" because if you are okay with them having sex before marriage or wearing revealing clothing, you aren't raising them right.
Also, we aren't good Christians and therefore she can't listen to anything we say.
I'll tell you how it would go. She would call us "gross" for insinuating that sexual love was something that was thought about between parents and children, but that fathers and daughters can absolutely be romantic with no ill intentions. And that we're being unfair.
And maybe a bit of "I feel sorry for your children" because if you are okay with them having sex before marriage or wearing revealing clothing, you aren't raising them right.
Also, we aren't good Christians and therefore she can't listen to anything we say.