Family/presents situation

[chelsmat]

I have a question for you ladies that I have been thinking about this week. First off, my kids birthdays are three months in a row in the fall so we have a running season of birthdays around here. My problem is that my ILs will send one or two of my three kids a present for their birthday and then forget the third. Because their birthdays are so close together DS1 and DS2 are starting to notice when one of them gets left out. For example, both SIL sent nothing to DS2 at the end of Sept. but send huge presents to DS1 this week. DS2 mentioned to me why they didn't get him something. FIL called DS1 and forgot DD and DS2s bday. I know that happens in life but they are 6 and 4 I would hate for them to feel left out or like they favor one. So my question is, do you think there is a tactful way to say that bday presents need to be all or nothing? To be clear, I don't care if they send something or not, I would just like for them to treat all three kids close to the same. Can I tell them that?

[lexus]

Yes, your husband can tell them that. I would be sure to include that you know life is crazy and they wouldn't do it on purpose... And then go into the concerns about the kids feeling left out.

[dizzycooks]

That's weird. Is there a good time to mention that maybe the kids don't need stuff and would consider a membership/experience for all the kids as one big gift? Then they don't have to remember or ship something.

[chelsmat]

Nov 5, 2015 9:03:51 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

That is an awkward situation and since it is ILs it is one I would let DH deal with. It is odd that they all forget. Do you live far away that if you have parties they aren't able to attend? Do they not see bday pix posted on FB?

They live far away but I do post party pics and stuff on FB. They are just not the most considerate bunch of people on the planet. I honestly don't think they mean to do it, they just forget or get busy or whatever and don't think how that feels to the kids. If their birthdays were far apart in the year I'm sure they wouldn't even remember who got what….its just that they are all so close. 

[quesyrah]

Are they older? My parents are both older and have memory issues. They tend to forget my niece and nephew who live out of state so I make sure to remind them right before their birthdays. Maybe you can just have DH give them a gentle reminder? Not necessarily about gifts but a "hey, X's birthday is this weeks he/she would love a birthday phone call."

[Deleted]

Nov 5, 2015 11:25:45 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Are they older? My parents are both older and have memory issues. They tend to forget my niece and nephew who live out of state so I make sure to remind them right before their birthdays. Maybe you can just have DH give them a gentle reminder? Not necessarily about gifts but a "hey, X's birthday is this weeks he/she would love a birthday phone call."

I like this idea, too! My ILs live far away and forgot DD's birthday last year. She's only 1, so no big deal for now, but I can see it being hurtful when the kids are older. I think the subtle reminder/request for a phone call is a nice approach. I'd let your H do it, too. I leave all IL stuff to my H, it just seems to go over better. Good luck!