Best parenting advice that you have ever received

[jag01]

Have you ever received a piece of advice that stuck with you or really made a lot of sense? A friend once told me "if you don't want them to do it a second time, don't allow it the first time". What's the best advice you have ever received?  

[rosesandpetals]

"The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice." That really stuck with me. Also, the one that is like, "you're not taking care of a child, you're raising an adult."

But whoever recommended that I try a wombie really saved me hours and hours and hours of sleep. That thing was amazing.

[momin2013]

"Just when you think you've figured something out, it'll change." (I found this to be particularly true during the newborn stage.)

[Deleted]

It's all a phase

You're not managing an Inconvenience, you are the meeting the needs of your child

Your job as a parent is to train them so you become obsolete

there is no one perfect way to parent, but many many ways to be a great parent

[quesyrah]

My aunt once told me that kids need a hug the most when they deserve it the least.

It's always stuck with me and when DS is really being difficult I'll ask if he needs a hug and it really helps turn things around. For both of us.

[vettymama]

Your child isn't giving you a hard time, he/she is having a hard time.

[Deleted]

That parenting "experts" change their recommendations constantly, and that whatever I choose to do, it won't screw up my kid for life. (I'm really hoping this is true!)

[mamaalysson]

A woman I worked with whose children were grown told me to record their voices, at all stages. I have video and audio of all my favorite little sayings they have had, and oh my god they are sweet.

I love the "they need a hug the most..." advice. That's a hard one for me, but it makes such a huge difference.

[quesyrah]

Nov 8, 2015 23:01:42 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

A woman I worked with whose children were grown told me to record their voices, at all stages. I have video and audio of all my favorite little sayings they have had, and oh my god they are sweet.

I love the "they need a hug the most..." advice. That's a hard one for me, but it makes such a huge difference.

It sounds awful to think your kid doesn't deserve a hug. But when you're in the thick of a tantrum or whatever a hug is often the last thing on my mind. But then I take a deep breath and realize they're just little kids and my goal is to change the behavior, not punish and a hug is going to reinforce that I love them but that they need to change their behavior.

[gastro]

Nov 8, 2015 21:58:33 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

My aunt once told me that kids need a hug the most when they deserve it the least.

It's always stuck with me and when DS is really being difficult I'll ask if he needs a hug and it really helps turn things around. For both of us.

I learned this from DS's first nursery teacher and it has definitely helped in so many situations. Not only does it calm DS down and diffuse the situation, it helps me keep my anger in check.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

To ignore people who said don't do this or that because it would create a "bad habit". Most people arent going off to college still using a pacifier or sleeping in their parents bed. Those things were incredibly easy to wean off of when the kid was ready and I saved so much sleep.

[dizzycooks]

Everyday they are one day older. This day will never happen again.

It's good and bad, but it helps me appreciate each day.

[keh2oblue]

"If he doesn't give a crap about using the toilet, why do I". (From a friend re our 2 year old sons)

[cabbagecabbage]

You can parent for your kid or parent perfectly for show but you can't do both.

Just smile and nod and say, "Thanks for letting me know," when you get advice.

[Deleted]

Someone else's different isn't wrong. Your kid will survive at Grandma's even if it isn't done your way. (I don't mean serious things like not strapping a kid in a carseat, more like a different bedtime routine).

Never institute a punishment that's too hard on you (taking away a family outing) or one that takes away a physical activity (no more outside) because it's probably what they need most and you'll just be stuck dreaming up something else to do which defeats the whole purpose.

[honeydew1894]

These are all really good! The hug one is one I need to remember.

[cna]

"Stop worrying about the future, slow down and enjoy your kids now"

"Just because you do it differently doesn't mean you're doing it wrong"

"Tell them you love them every chance you get"

"You can't take care of them if you don't take care of you"

[Deleted]

Go with the flow.

When someone questions your parenting style or choices, just say, "we do what works for us."

[dizzycooks]

I love this thread so much. I feel like I'm entering a different world having a third and already have received plenty of comments that are so uncalled for I can only imagine what's next. I love the responses! I also appreciate the reminders

[jensriot]

I saw it somewhere like Supernanny, but in reference to tantrums and the like... "One of you is going to win here and you get to decide who." It helps me keep my cool when my kids push buttons.