What motivates your dh?

[dizzycooks]

I seriously just chewed my dh a new one about not helping enough lately. He's been busy, I'll give you that but I'm 32 freaking weeks pregnant, working ft, and taking care of the kids and life until he gets home at bedtime. No, I do not need to also take out the trash tyvm. And hell no I'm not raking/blowing more leaves this weekend. He seriously asked if I had time to help with it again this weekend and if I thought they'd be dry enough. Idk, i don't care, you didn't make time earlier and ive bagged more than most pregnant women should have to. Grrrr...he seems to get it, but I don't want to have to ask! Just do it!!!

[jag01]

I'd like to say it's because he is afraid of me. I guess in a way he is. He knows that I only ask nicely once before I usually go ahead and do it myself, usually ending up in a bigger mess, costing him more time and money.

[Deleted]

Generally I just have to tell/ask him. He's fine to help, but doesn't always see what I see needs done.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

I just stop doing it and demand he does. When I was pregnant I was pretty useless and I was never chasing two kids and working full time either.

[dizzycooks]

Nov 12, 2015 12:31:05 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Money. He knows I will hire out a job in 2 seconds flat at any cost which will piss him off. If he takes too long to do something it so for my help to pull something off that he should have handled long ago I send him links to a service. Magically it gets done.

Oh if I could have a redo of this fall I'd be hiring a lawn service to do the fall clean up.  We haven't had time and it's annoying the heck out of me.  At this point it's pretty much too late and we've done most of it, but dang, I'm tired.

ETA: Can I hire someone to take out the trash?  Or wash dishes?

[expectantsteelerfan]

Same as tooshort...I ask once, and then if it's not done and I don't want to do it myself, I hire someone.

[Deleted]

Yup I'm another speak up and ask and if not, I either neglect the task and/or hire it out. You're pregnant and can't do it all. Take it easy and let him do it.

[jensriot]

I have to leave a list for DH. Like Sing's, he doesn't always see what needs to be done. If I ask him to take care of something, he'll try to remember. There's a much better chance of it actually getting done if I text him or write it down for him to see.

[jcm]

Nov 12, 2015 13:41:25 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Nov 12, 2015 12:31:05 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Money. He knows I will hire out a job in 2 seconds flat at any cost which will piss him off. If he takes too long to do something it so for my help to pull something off that he should have handled long ago I send him links to a service. Magically it gets done.

Oh if I could have a redo of this fall I'd be hiring a lawn service to do the fall clean up.  We haven't had time and it's annoying the heck out of me.  At this point it's pretty much too late and we've done most of it, but dang, I'm tired.

ETA: Can I hire someone to take out the trash?  Or wash dishes?

Yes, you can hire someone to wash dishes & take out the trash.  A housekeeper/maid ;-) 

[quesyrah]

Nov 12, 2015 13:41:25 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Nov 12, 2015 12:31:05 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Money. He knows I will hire out a job in 2 seconds flat at any cost which will piss him off. If he takes too long to do something it so for my help to pull something off that he should have handled long ago I send him links to a service. Magically it gets done.

Oh if I could have a redo of this fall I'd be hiring a lawn service to do the fall clean up.  We haven't had time and it's annoying the heck out of me.  At this point it's pretty much too late and we've done most of it, but dang, I'm tired.

ETA: Can I hire someone to take out the trash?  Or wash dishes?

Yes! When MIL had surgery and I was still working we hired a neighbor kid to do it

[quesyrah]

I'm also a list maker. If I hand him a physical list it gets done.

[Deleted]

Well there's no way you can or should be doing that stuff at 32 weeks, on top of everything else. So if he doesn't get his butt in gear, DON'T take it on yourself. You need to have time to rest. And at this point, if he can't get it done, then he can be the one to look around for someone else to do it. Take it off your plate and let him figure it out. If he doesn't, oh well. His problem. The best advice I got when I was overwhelmed after having my second kid (and shingles) was to just keep shovelling things off my plate. Your H wants to know if the leaves are dry enough? (i.e. wants to put yard duty back on your plate), you just refuse to take them. "Hmm, I don't know, H, why don't you go check?"

I hope he mans up and you get some rest time. Pregnancy sucks at the best of times, IMHO.

[RandZB]

My wrath. And sex. If he thinks he might get lucky he'll get something done with the quickness.

[nowa]

So did you lay down the law? Because, uh-uh. You are pregnant.

[dizzycooks]

Well he made 4 dozen muffins and helped with a batch of granola tonight. He also kept the kids home from church (long story) and did yard work all morning, with them, on Sunday. Tomorrow he took the day off, we will see how he uses it.