All of the good news yesterday turned into a terrible day. I took the dog to my parents house so they could meet her. My mom came unhinged and yelled at me. She called the dog a mistake, said she was disappointed in me and called me selfish. And asked why I hated her so much that I wouldn't have a baby. It really hurt my feelings because I knew she would never understand why I want a dog, but I didn't expect that. Of course, h wasn't home and I couldn't stop crying.
And the dog won't leave my side, not even to eat. She cried all night when I put her in the crate, despite trying to make the crate her happy place. Then I ended up having to move her to her dog bed upstairs, and she peed in the house. I thought I had taken her out enough. Other than that she's been great, and really the pee thing was not her fault. I should have known better and taken her out one more time before taking her out of the crate.
I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't expect to feel like this much of a failure in less than 24 hours.
Ok first your mom. I'm so so sorry. That is awful and a lot of pressure on you bc you're an only child, correct? My mom is the same way with me right now. Making comments here and there about making grandchildren for her. It's the worst feeling. All I can say is I relate and I'm so sorry.
And yes, your new doggie is going to take a lot of adjusting. Not just for you, but for her, too! So don't think you are bein a failure!! She just needs to get used to your place and your routine. When we first got Annie, it was really frustrating bc she always peed in the house, no matter how many times we let her out. To this day actually, she will be on anything carpeted, just for the sake of doing it. So now I've learned to quarantine her off from places and she is fine. She def takes a lot more attention than Daisy since she is a rescue dog- I think that altho she has changed A LOT since we first got her, there are still some old "habits" she will always have. It's all part of getting to know her and understand her.
And if she only peed once inside on day 1, that's definitely success!
Hang in there!!! You are always the one to focus on positives vs the negatives!! So remember to do that!!!
Oh UW!!! Hugs, it will get better. Your mom will get over it.
As far as the puppy goes, every dog we've had has had a very rough first week, so just prepare yourself for that. One thing we found was that they really just want to know you aren't going to leave them alone, so strap on those ear plugs, and stick her in your crate right next to your bed, so when she ccries you can stick your fingers through the crate and she knows you're still there.
Peeing only once in the house on the first day is a miracle We used a bell to train Tux and he was trained in about 10 days, so might be something you want to consider - putting a bell on the door, making her ring it when you go out to go potty, and praising the hell out of her when she goes.
O that's another thing about the crate. When Matt first got Daisy, he put her in the crate for the night and she cry cry cried her eyes out. She never went in it again until about 8 years when we got Annie. Annie slept in the crate no problem. And it was funny bc she slept in the crate all night and as soon as we'd let them out in the AM, daisy would run in the crate bc she was jealous. Now you cannot get her out of the crate. We leave the gate open but she goes in there out of default. O look whose in there now?
UW I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that. Your mom never ceases to amaze me at how bitchy she can be.
The dog only peeing in the house once on her first day is definitely a success although it might not feel like it. Her whole world has been flipped and she is having to learn new things and a new place. It will take time.
We are going to the Kitsap County Fair today. I haven't been since I was a teenager and I figure it is going to be more manageable to take E to since its smaller. I hope he has fun.
I hope everyone has a good day and UW don't let your mom get you too down.
Post by FrozenSunshine on Aug 25, 2012 12:19:29 GMT -5
*hugs* sorry for your mothers reaction. Enjoy some puppy snuggles and realize you made a good decision.
I'm sure pup will settle in soon. She's had a tough life and will probably need a longer adjustment period then most.
No idea what we're doing today, I think a picnic at Golden Gardens. Then I have to get DH all packed up for his trip this week. Also trying to figure out what to do with the yard/plants with the move. Don't really want to hire landscapers, but don't really know my neighbors enough to ask for their help.
Oh, UW! You are SO not a failure! I'm so sorry your mom acted like that about your furkid. I'll pray she comes around.
As for the dog, she's going to take a LOT of adjustment. For the first month after we got my little boy, I wasn't even sure I liked him. He was clingy and had some accidents, yet cowered from me, no matter how sweet I was to him. He cried the first week we had him in his crate at night, but he got used to it. I cried a lot. It's really hard at first, but it's the best feeling ever when you start to realize it's easy and normal. The dog will have accidents at first, no matter how much they promised she was house trained, simply because it's a new environment and she's still figuring out what's allowed and what's not.
All that said, if you have ANY questions about training, potty training, bonding, etc, feel free to ask. I did a ridiculous amount of research before and after we got Augi, and I'm also experienced with training dogs from when I worked with Homeward Pet.
Post by BlackCanary on Aug 25, 2012 14:00:28 GMT -5
UW- I'm sorry you had to deal with that. ({) I agree with PP, it will take some adjustment time, but I'm sure it will work out!
Today is going to be uneventful, the only thing I have planned is to go to the post office, and I've already done that. Right now I'm watching Batman and Robin, such a bad movie. I was feeling nostalgic. ;D
PP have the advice regarding puppy covered, so I just want to add another hug to the pile regarding your mom!! Next time, I live close enough, call me and I'll come over!! You are NOT a failure!
I threw diet half way to the wind yesterday as I started TOM and by evening, not one flying fuck was given...so I had yummy Thai food and vodka lemonade martini, and cookie and cupcake! This morning started off with another cookie I'm so tired of tracking food at the moment, but I know I'm not out of the weight danger zone yet. Sigh.
Plans for today are to get the white painted on my bookshelf so hopefully we can move it in tomorrow evening for good. Meanwhile, maybe work on the herb spiral, make H work on the that stupid tub surround. Waiting on him to finish shaving so we can go to McLendon's to see the sidewalk sale and get some stuffs. BBQ tonight at friends we're trying to decide if we feel like going to.
I threw diet half way to the wind yesterday as I started TOM and by evening, not one flying fuck was given...so I had yummy Thai food and vodka lemonade martini, and cookie and cupcake! This morning started off with another cookie I'm so tired of tracking food at the moment, but I know I'm not out of the weight danger zone yet. Sigh.
That sounds delicious! Yesterday I downed half a bag of Reese's mini peanut butter cups. Not as bad as Thursday night when I had four slices of pizza and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream. After our friend left I was lying on the bed going, "ugh." I really should eat better.
Thank you for the support everyone. It really means a lot. I still haven't talked to my mom. I don't know if I should wait for her to call or if I need to call her. The last time this happened to this magnitude, she called me to yell at me for not calling her first and that she was sick of always being the one to extend the olive branch....
I know is probably makes me a huge bitch, but I really don't feel like I have anything to apologize for, so I really don't want to call first.
Thank you for the support everyone. It really means a lot. I still haven't talked to my mom. I don't know if I should wait for her to call or if I need to call her. The last time this happened to this magnitude, she called me to yell at me for not calling her first and that she was sick of always being the one to extend the olive branch....
I know is probably makes me a huge bitch, but I really don't feel like I have anything to apologize for, so I really don't want to call first.
I wouldn't.
Somehow I picture your mother as the half crazed mother of Lane in Gilmore girls...
Thank you for the support everyone. It really means a lot. I still haven't talked to my mom. I don't know if I should wait for her to call or if I need to call her. The last time this happened to this magnitude, she called me to yell at me for not calling her first and that she was sick of always being the one to extend the olive branch....
I know is probably makes me a huge bitch, but I really don't feel like I have anything to apologize for, so I really don't want to call first.
I wouldn't.
Somehow I picture your mother as the half crazed mother of Lane in Gilmore girls...
I never watched gg, but usually my mom is really nice, open minded and understanding. While she talks about this baby thing she actually turns into a raging bitch. I never know if she's going to cry and beg or yell and hurl insults.
I've tried telling her that I can't talk to her till she calms the fuck down, but that never works either. My dad has tried talking to her too and he can't get her to calm down either.
I really feel like she needs grief counseling or something. I even suggested it once and she just went bsc about how it was my fault that she felt this way.
Honestly, I feel like a part of her retiring so young bc she was counting on me to have a child and that would give her something to do.
Thank you for the support everyone. It really means a lot. I still haven't talked to my mom. I don't know if I should wait for her to call or if I need to call her. The last time this happened to this magnitude, she called me to yell at me for not calling her first and that she was sick of always being the one to extend the olive branch....
I know is probably makes me a huge bitch, but I really don't feel like I have anything to apologize for, so I really don't want to call first.
You don't have anything to apologize for. If anything she is the one that needs to apologize. Although I don't think that she will ever see it that way.