Post by copperboom on Nov 28, 2015 17:00:01 GMT -5
His behavior is 100% not okay. At all. I'm also concerned by the first line of your post, that you feel you're putting yourself out there to be pummeled. You've done nothing wrong here. This is not your fault.
I'm sorry. You shouldn't be treated that way at all. And your kids shouldn't witness that kind of outburst over nothing, it sets a terrible example. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself. (((Hugs)))
I'm sorry bab, you don't deserve to be treated so poorly. It is not okay at all, especially if this is an on going issue and not a one off thing. *hugs*
Post by fuckyourcouch on Nov 28, 2015 17:32:19 GMT -5
I'm really sorry that happened. You deserve better. My h yelled at me like that one about something dumb, and it was in the car to boot. I was livid and I told him later once I was not so insanely mad that if he ever did that again I would leave. Do you think he would consider counseling?
I am sorry you are dealing with this. If this is an example of what he is like when he is upset, I would definitely say it is emotionally abusive. If he was raised in a setting where this was the way people generally communicated their emotions, he probably does need some kind of support/outside intervention for him to realize that you aren't being unreasonable in your expectations.
You don't have to stay. You don't have to live like that.
Eta: I want to be sure it is not coming off as blaming you because obviously I'm not. I just mean that if you can't take it anymore, you can't take it anymore. You don't need to stay just because you are married and have kids. You know that.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Dealing with that day in and day out is no way to live. And disrespect in front of your children is a thousand times worse. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck and I'm on your side.
I'm sad for you and I'm glad you stood up for yourself. He needs actions and not words to show he is sorry. I'm sorry he acting this way toward you and so angry he did this in front of your children.
Sounds exactly like my husband. I experienced this for years and was unfortunately naive and didn't understand until I was already married that it is called verbal and emotional abuse, just like what you wrote. I was getting set to figure out how to get a divorce and found out I was pregnant. Fast forward almost 2 years and we are sitting in marriage counseling with a therapist who tried to pin the problem on me as much as on him and said we both needed more therapy. Maybe, but he was not going back to any therapist after that. Oh and what sucks is his family didn't believe me that he could be such an asshole, clearly I was the defective one. Or maybe when the cops came (twice!) and they said they couldn't do anything either, this is just a fight between married people, kiss and make up. WTF? I finally found myself a psychiatrist who gave me some meds to help me get over the depression I've been in for the past 3 years partly due to him and the baby and other crap in my life and for some reason, things have been much calmer, better and more positive for a few months now. We've both made a commitment to be better for our daughter since she getting older so she is making connections and repeating stuff all the time now.
But a small part of me just still doesn't trust him, you know? I'm sorry you have to experience this and I hope you can find answers and peace.