My dad is in BEC camp with me this year especially. In general he has good moments and I have learned what to expect, but I thought he'd be more into his first grandchild. E was born in July, and he told me before she was born he wouldn't get to meet her until Spring (2016). Because he was going to Mexico. He's retired and spends almost half the year in Mexico, but wasn't even going until October. I know he lives far (he's in TX, we're in IL), but come on it's your first grandchild!
I added him to our Shutterfly photoshare site for E's pics, along with the other grandparents and a couple very close friends. He unsubscribed himself from the share site, and then while I was chatting online with him a week after, he said how he needs more pics of E because I don't post enough on Facebook (I do, but ok). When I was pregnant, he was going to get me a cloth diaper service for a few months as a gift, and told me the day after we had a conversation about diapers and I told him we were using disposables and already had a ton of boxes. I told him I appreciate the thought behind the gift but we would really prefer to use disposables because we already have a lot, and because it works better for our lifestyle. He hadn't purchased it yet and said ok, and then made a comment about maybe getting it for my cousin instead (his wife had a baby a week after I did), and has still not even sent a card or gift for E, in addition to still not meeting her until "spring". SO he was willing to spend ~$1,000 on this diaper service, but not on a plane ticket to visit, and not on any other gift for E.
I just talked to him today on the phone for a few minutes and he spent most of the time talking about what he was doing.
Mil. Very woe is me and barely even engages with ds though will want a million pictures and complain about not seeing him. Also asks me a million questions about my family but in a very comparison type way keeping score since we are close to them. I barely even engage anymore I'm over it. When ds was born would constantly ask to come over and then just sit on our couch for hours, not help do a thing or even always hold ds just sit there. That is not happening with ds2
Before she had a child she was super Type A about everyone's volunteer work and she didn't care at all about our kids' schedules/sicknesses. She expected me to complete assignments at 1am on a Sunday in order to meet a Monday deadline, for example. I put up with it because she was good at her job and her heart was in the right place. And then she had a baby and all of her Type A-ness is funneled into parenting. She does NOTHING for the volunteer org anymore but still wants to keep her VP position. This week she asked me to do her work (for the millionth time) and I straight up said no. She sent me a 3 paragraph email about how sick she and her baby were. as if this hasn't been going on for a year. Also BEC, im sick, my 2 kids are sick, we are dealing with the death of a close friend's child, and we are out of town. So no I don't care. Do it your damn self. If she keeps her VP slot this next year I will quit.
My dad. He just left. He's the most annoying person I know. He met Stella today, she's 10 weeks and he lives a 3 hour drive away. He spent the whole time saying that he never sees her. This is what he has done his whole life, "oh I missss you but I won't make the time. Oh here's money".
He left 3 hours earlier than planned and left Stella a check and monogrammed silver cup.
Asshole.
My FIL lives less than an hour away, has seen L twice since she was born almost 7 months ago and once was at her Christening (for which he has given no gift or even a card btw). It all boils down to his wife, who is just a bitch. No one in the family likes her and she keeps him away from everyone. If they come to any event, they leave prematurely because she's cold/hot/doesn't feel well/has to pee and doesn't like publi bathrooms etc etc. My H says he was an involved dad while his parents were married, and only got like this after he remarried. So I guess they are my BEC. It's too bad because his dad is very nice, but he's estranged from all of his grandkids.
Post by cheeseandcrackers on Nov 28, 2015 21:30:40 GMT -5
My SIL.. my brother had a baby with her 4 months ago.. my mom came down and helped for THREE months (sleeping with the baby almost every night), mostly because they asked her to so she rescheduled her flight back. After she left, my SIL complained that she got too skinny because my mother didn't cook for her. Uh. So many other things on top of that.. but i'm not even going to go there ha.
My SIL. She was one of those people that was the perfect parent before she had kids. Now that she has one, it's gotten worse. At the dinner table on TG she said she was being an "improper parent" by letting her child co-sleep. And here I am laying in my bed next to my sleeping 3 yo. She's also insane with her child's schedule. I'm pretty breezy and it kind of makes me nuts.
A woman from my local triplet group. She is constantly soliciting help with her kids on FB and they are 14mo old now. I helped her quite a few times in the first few months and she always had multiple people over at the same time to "help". It was annoying so I quit offering. I feel bad for her because her husband is a POS but she should be able to handle her kids now. She stays at home too.
My dads bday last weekend most of the family went over to my parents house. I made cake and cupcakes. Her dh spends the entire time there watching an NFL game on his phone, no headphones. (Bearing in mind we live in Ireland...). In the living room where everyone else is chatting. Hardly says a word to anyone.
Meanwhile, my sister goes into the kitchen. Not sure the reason but she's in there a good 10+ mins. My dd1 says to us that's she's thirsty to my dh so he sends dd1 to ask her aunt to get her a glass of water. From the tap she is standing beside. My sister refuses and basically shouts back in to dh to "not be so lazy and get your own daughter a drink".
MIL. She was told about our pregnancy in June, and I didn't not hear a single word from her or SIL about it until my shower 2 weeks ago. Where they made a big deal about being "SO EXCITED!!!!" And the two times I've had a pregnancy related FB post MIL comments about how excited she is and shares it. But you know, not excited enough to speak to me or her son about it. DH even told her that baby has a problem with its kidneys and she's never once asked about it.
Oh yeah, forgot about FILs detachment. He's not a jerk or anything but he makes comments to J about never seeing his grandson, when he rarely fucking calls. And then when we do take AJ over there or FIL comes over here he's too busy watching football or golf or whatever to really interact with his grandson.
My husband's friend. She's a total one upper. So many examples yet I've only known her for 3 years. Now she's pregnant so this is going to be fun. Oh and she's an OB herself so of course she knows everything. She's a transplanted Canadian and somewhat angry that she has to live in the US because she married an American who refuses consider moving to Canada.
(I love all my other Canadian friends, I promise!)