If you want a range of kids...

[oukapu]

For example, 2 to 3.

How did you decide on the final number?

[chessie]

Dh and I had decided on 1 mainly for $ and time reasons. With no family in the area, we have to outsource all the work and it be over our budget for 2.

[Deleted]

We have three. It was basically my decision to have a third, DH would have been fine stopping at two. I didn't feel like our family was complete at two and I also wanted to try again because I really wanted a girl. We knew we could afford three kids so that wasn't an issue.

I'm pretty sure we're done now though. I don't know if we could handle a fourth in terms of time, energy, logistics, etc. And financially I think it would be difficult to come up with the money for a fourth college education, which is really important to us.

[pamela]

At this point, it will be in large part determined by my body and physically can we have another. Otherwise, after each one, continue to ask if we want another.

[Deleted]

we stopped at 4 when we realized what private school for 4 kids was going to cost

[verypunny]

we wanted 3-4. We now have 3 with the youngest being under a year. Most days we are 100% sure we are done, we are very content and happy with the way our family is and it feels complete. There are some days where we think about having one more but we are most likely done. I think you just know after having each kid if you want another/ can afford another/ have the patience for another.

[6fsn]

We thought we were done at 2, but here we are expecting #3. There will be no 4th. I'm too old and there is no way my body will handle a 4th c/s. Plus that blasted $$$ thing.

[drloretta]

Finances are our major consideration. We had a long talk about it in December, and will revisit again the end of this year.

[whitepicketfence]

We always knew we wanted at least 2 kids since we wanted our children to have siblings. We're somewhat undecided on a 3rd. If we had unlimited funds, we'd have a whole gaggle of kids but, unfortunately, we don't. Having a third child woild require us to get a different vehicle since we can't fit 3 carseats in our current one. We would also need a bigger house since we only have 2 bedrooms and we'll already have 2 kids sharing a room. When you add in all the other costs of raising a child, it just seems a bit overwhelming.

Also, I had two under two so I'm still somewhat recovering from the chaos of that first year, LOL. We're waiting until the spring to discuss things again. We'll see how we both feel then.

[brit1017]

We currently have 2, but are undecided on whether we will have a 3rd. We are tabling the discussion until our youngest hits pre-K- we cannot afford to have another kid in daycare, and having 2u2, we would want the older ones to be more independent this time around. There are times that I can't imagine not having another child (I am one of three), but there are other times that I really enjoy the increased abilities and independence of the kids as they are getting older and can't imagine starting over again.

[ECB]

We wanted 2, but due to IF and the cost to have DS - we're stopping at 1. A lot of our circumstances changed in the past year that affected $$, our schedule, etc, and it all led to this decision.

[Deleted]

I wanted 4+, DH wanted 2-3. I am preg with my fourth. Not sure why DH became on board with trying for more...could be the fact that we had all girls or that our girls are just so awesome--lol. Really the cost adjustments have been made already (bought a big car, house, etc) & private school will be 1/2 price for 4th (Catholic). We're doing fine & it's not as hard as it seems now that they are older (3-almost 8yrs). Plus I was a SAHM for years & now I work part time & want to stay working--full-time in a few years so maybe he feels the burden is lighter. I think he thought (feared -lol) that I never planned to work or couldn't find a job ever again despite my telling him I would.

[mbcdefg]

We've said that we'll stop after two. But we're a while away from TTC so take that for what it's worth.

I used to want three, since I'm one of three kids in my family, or even four. Then my patience started growing thinner when I found myself exposed to more children as my friends started having them.

We don't want to stretch our budget with a ton of kids, since we want to be able to travel with them, possibly send them to private schools, and help them go college. And MH brought up that we can manage them one-on-one, or that if one of us is solo with them then we have one hand for each child.

MH is an only child and says he isn't upset about it, but there have been times when he's been all alone in managing things, like when his mother died and when his father got sick. But we both realize that him having a sibling wouldn't have guaranteed him help ... the sibling could've very well been an irresponsible douchebag.

[Brie]

Possibly flameworthy, but we want 2 or 3 and sex will be a big factor.

If #2 is a boy, we will probably go for #3. If #2 is a girl, we might stop (or we might keep going).

This isn't so much based on preference for one sex over the other, but DH and I are both from families with two kids of the same sex. DH especially felt a lot of direct competitive pressure with and comparison to his brother. We just don't want to recreate that situation if we can avoid it.

[CallingAllAngels]

We wanted 2-3.

Some time between 1 and 2, H decided he was done at 2. If he hadn't, I probably would have wanted another, but 2 is probably best for us (financially and emotionally). Both of our kids were born after H turned 40 and both took a year to conceive, so that was a consideration.

[mbcdefg]

Aug 27, 2012 8:29:59 GMT -5 Brie said:

Possibly flameworthy, but we want 2 or 3 and sex will be a big factor.

If #2 is a boy, we will probably go for #3. If #2 is a girl, we might stop (or we might keep going).

This isn't so much based on preference for one sex over the other, but DH and I are both from families with two kids of the same sex. DH especially felt a lot of direct competitive pressure with and comparison to his brother. We just don't want to recreate that situation if we can avoid it.

I've said that if we have two of the same sex, I might want to try for a third, or possibly even adopt. MH says that he'd like to stop at two no matter what.

I like having both a brother and a sister. Sometimes I feel bad for my brother being the only guy, especially now that our dad's gone. When we adopted our family dog years ago, my mom initially wanted to get a male dog so that my brother didn't feel outnumbered, lol.

[Deleted]

I would like 3, heck even 4 or 5, I've always liked big families, but I think finances will limit us to 3. I also had a csection with this one and if I have more that will naturally limit the # we have.

So our current plan is definitely a second one with a strong option for a third.

[kittycatlove]

We are one and done due to IF issues and my age. Though some days I do still wish that we could have one more and other days I'm ok with just DS.

[zarapipe]

If money weren't an option- 3. Since it is an option we will most likely stop at 2, but we aren't planning on TTC until DD is 3-4 years old.

[ejpint]

Ideally, I'd like 3. I'm an only child, and have always wanted a larger family. This is a compromise, as I can't imagine financing more than 3, and I get uncomfortable when I see parents struggling with a herd of children in the store. I'm not sure we could handle being outnumbered by that many. Also, it took us a couple of years to get pregnant with one. We may be able to get to 3 before I worry about being "too old", but I don't think I could do more than that.

[Deleted]

We probably want 2, but we wont take any permanent birth control measures until the second is a few years old.

I think the key is to start young enough you have some time for your hypothetical max # of kids, then reevaluate as you go.

[ssmjlm]

We are one and done. DH will be 40 after this one and I never wanted more than 1 due to family medical history of younger siblings.

[kittycatlove]

Aug 27, 2012 9:15:55 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I think the key is to start young enough you have some time for your hypothetical max # of kids, then reevaluate as you go.

That sounds great but isn't always the reality. I didnt' get married till I was 39 and had no way of knowing about the IF issues we would encounter. I'm am so thankful we were at least able to have DS.

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2012 9:21:32 GMT -5 kittycatlove said:

Aug 27, 2012 9:15:55 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I think the key is to start young enough you have some time for your hypothetical max # of kids, then reevaluate as you go.

That sounds great but isn't always the reality. I didnt' get married till I was 39 and had no way of knowing about the IF issues we would encounter. I'm am so thankful we were at least able to have DS.

Usually your choice is start now vs. start later. No one has a time machine. "Reevaluate as you go" can mean dealing with shitty luck and health conditions as well as changing desires.

[ijack]

Aug 27, 2012 9:15:55 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

We probably want 2, but we wont take any permanent birth control measures until the second is a few years old.

I think the key is to start young enough you have some time for your hypothetical max # of kids, then reevaluate as you go.

do you think it's possible for you to answer one question without coming across as a condescending bitch?

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2012 9:46:32 GMT -5 ijack said:

Aug 27, 2012 9:15:55 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

We probably want 2, but we wont take any permanent birth control measures until the second is a few years old.

I think the key is to start young enough you have some time for your hypothetical max # of kids, then reevaluate as you go.

do you think it's possible for you to answer one question without coming across as a condescending bitch?

I think some people dislike me and choose to read everything I write as something to have a fight and declare me a bitch over.

Obviously, my choices as someone that got married at 23 were different than someone that got married at 39.

[ijack]

no, I think you just have a tone in every single post.

[mrshandy]

We're set on 2 for now. I have some inkling of 3. But that will probably never happen. It definitely won't happen until at least #1 is in school. No way, no how can we afford 3 kids in DC.

[definitelyO]

we wanted 2 but "we" didn't get to decide - so we have 1 and are very happy with that number now.

[mollz007]

We haven't started TTC and wont for awhile, but as of now we have agreed on 2 because we want them to have built in playmates. H grew up with 2 brothers, so originally he said he wanted 3 kids, but I said no.